Tyra Banks - HecklerSpray

Could 2018 Be the Year of the Lindsay Lohan Comeback?

June 22nd, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I have legitimately been praying for this day for almost 10 years, and, tbh, I had kind of given up hope that anything this miraculous would ever happen. But here I am, predicting that 2018 could potentially be the year that Lindsay Lohan FINALLY makes her acting comeback!

Last week, I blogged about how Lohan had a real acting job in something that actually looks watchable, as she was cast in the British comedy, Sick Note. Now, here I am this week, announcing that she might be part of the HIGHLY anticipated Life Size 2, a sequel to her and Tyra Banks’ cinematic (aka made-for-tv) masterpiece, Life Size!

Surefire Cinematic Masterpiece “Life-Size 2” is Happening!

April 22nd, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

What seems like a life time ago, professional and acclaimed actresses Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan starred in the international made-for-tv hit, Life-Size, about a little girl (Lohan) who brings her doll (Banks) to life to help her cope with the loss of her mom.

Since it first aired 27 million years ago, people have been praying to the Gods that a sequel would be made, and next Christmas the Lord doth giveth.

People Are Upset Tyra Banks Donned Whiteface, Because of Course They Are

September 11th, 2013 By Natalia Kemble

Over the weekend Tyra Banks tweeted a set of pictures of herself gussied up as other supermodels, most of whom happen to be white, and a bunch of people are pissed that not more people are pissed.

Because it’s whiteface, you guys! It’s super-offensive to white people. Don’t you remember when white people were enslaved and forced to work on plantations and generally have no freedom? Yeah me neither, BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T.

Tyra Banks Without Makeup

Supermodel Tyra Banks became a well?recognized?television personality after creating and hosting America's Next Top Model and teaching the world to smize.

When Tyra?s special brand of crazy drew in viewers (I mean, we all remember ?I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!? Right?) the judge secured her own day time show. The Tyra Banks Show ran for five years picking up an Emmy along the way.

Needless to say, the former Victoria?s Secret Angel is drop dead gorgeous and often heavily made up. She is no stranger to letting her skin breathe when it needs to however. Tyra Banks without makeup looks a little alien like.

The Most Ridiculous Celebrity Santas Ever

March 23rd, 2013 By Chris Starr

We are but DAYS away from St. Nick sliding his way down your chimney (have you ever thought that actually, what Santa does is breaking and entering?) and like everyone else, celebrities are of course willing to dress up and impersonate the great man himself for your delectation.

But why would you want to do that? It seems strange that celebrities are willing to crush the dreams of children everywhere by saying that actually, Santa isn’t necessarily some fat dude at the North Pole. He can also be Katy Perry stretching her gamine limbs on stage at the Jingle Ball.

Tyra Banks Is Having Condomless Sex So Start Being Thrilled Or Else

April 11th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Queen Bee of the America’s Next Top Model Bitches, Tyra Banks, can smile with her eyeballs. Now, she’s winking with her pelvic floor muscles as she begins a period in her life which is completely condomless. What? She’s trying to catch a sexually transmitted disease?!

Don’t be silly. Obviously, she’s trying to get pregnant because she’s reached that stage of her life when she feels like she’s got absolutely nothing to offer the world other than identical pictures of a baby coughing up mashed-up swede through it’s crusty little nose holes.

Imagine Tyra’s mothering skills! *shudder*

TV Review: America’s Next Top Model

August 5th, 2012 By Limara Salt

Does anybody still watch America’s Next Top Model? No? Fine, whatevs. Unbelievably there was a time when watching 12 underweight, malnourished and grossly over-confident girls harp on about who “wants it” more was compulsive viewing.

Well, compulsive viewing for people with too much time on their hands that is. Normal people would find it more entertaining and fulfilling to throw some tramps under Waterloo bridge a few crusts of bread and watch them wrestle for it.

Alas, ANTM is just as embarrassingly addictive and chock full’o pricks as X-Factor and The Apprentice but if you thought Simon Cowell and Lord Suralan were obsessed with making their respective shows all about them, you’ve clearly never encountered the narcissistic world of Tyra “MEMEMEMEMEMEME” Banks.

Tyra Banks Being Sued By Mother Of A 15 Year Old Sex Addict

October 18th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Tyra Banks is a very talented woman. She’s able to smile with her eyes, which is great, but she’s also able to grimace with her ear-holes and frown with her arse. What an amazing human being she is.

And now, she’s also obtained the skill of being sued by the mother of a 15-year-old sex addict. Whack that on the curriculum vitae.

That’s right dearest reader, Tyra Banks and Warner Bros Entertainment are being sued for $3m over allegations that a 15-year-old self-confessed sex addict appeared on The Tyra Show without her mother’s consent. What? Did you expect this to be a tale about a child humping a former supermodel’s back? You sick shits.

Tyra Banks’s Stalker Convicted Of Stalking Tyra Banks

May 1st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There are close to seven billion people on Earth right now. Stalkers aren’t exactly tripping over each other for fresh victims.

And yet Brady Green still stalked Tyra Banks. He could have tried stalking anyone else – someone who can only articulate their feelings without using a series of preposterous facial expressions, perhaps, or someone who seems pleasant – but no. Brady Green decided to stalk Tyra Banks, and now he’s been convicted.

Alright, technically Brady Green was convicted of stalking, harassment, criminal trespass and attempted aggravated harassment, but that’s only because you can’t be convicted of having dreadful taste in women.

Tyra Banks Sends Top Model Contestant’s Male Genitals Into A Scissory Abyss

March 24th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

What’s nice about America’s Next Top Model is that it takes a young girl who really isn’t good at anything at all, and somehow turns that into a positive.

Throughout a typical season several competing girls learn to take their overall dearth of life-skills and fling them at the camera like a monkey flings fecal matter that’s been picked clean of all its nutritional value. It’s an ode to humanity if you think about it; girls come from nothing, Tyra intervenes, girls receive the potential to make loads of money all over the place by blankly staring into the business end of George Eastman‘s big glass eye.

But what happens if a would-be contestant just has too many penises? Would his bulgy bikini shots be a life-long demerit. Not if Tyra has anything to say about it. Which she does, especially in this case – she’s paying to have one of the show’s contestants get their man-hammer cut off with knives.

Seriously. Sounds like a ratings winner.