Articles tagged with: Twilight 3
Twilight 3 Director Really, Really Hates Twilight
Directing a Twilight film is a big job. Are you faithful to the book? Can you make Robert Pattinson look vaguely human? Do you hate Twilight with such a passion that the thought of it alone makes you want to sick up some blood into a nun's eye? If you've answered yes to all of these questions then you're perfectly suited to be a Twilight director. Just look at Twilight 3 director David Slade - before he was hired he wrote on Twitter that he wouldn't watch Twilight drunk, on acid or at gunpoint. Which, we think, means that we're directing Twilight 4.
Directing a Twilight film is a big job. Are you faithful to the book? Can you make Robert Pattinson look vaguely human? Do you hate Twilight with such a passion that the thought of it alone makes you want to sick up some blood into a nun's eye? If you've answered yes to all of these questions then you're perfectly suited to be a Twilight director. Just look at Twilight 3 director David Slade - before he was hired he wrote on Twitter that he wouldn't watch Twilight drunk, on acid or at gunpoint. Which, we think, means that we're directing Twilight 4.
Twilight 3 To Be Directed By Someone Good For A Change?
The Twilight movies are unique, in that a monkey could direct them, so long as it was a) cheap and b) fast. And able to make Robert Pattinson look suitably vacant. But that one's a given. Anyway, rumour has it that Twilight is about to break from the norm by hiring a director who's shown signs of basic competency to direct Twilight 3. According to reports, Juan Antonio Bayona of The Orphanage is onboard. However, according to some other reports, Drew Barrymore is going to direct Twilight 3. Phew, that was close - for a second there we almost wanted to see it.
The Twilight movies are unique, in that a monkey could direct them, so long as it was a) cheap and b) fast. And able to make Robert Pattinson look suitably vacant. But that one's a given. Anyway, rumour has it that Twilight is about to break from the norm by hiring a director who's shown signs of basic competency to direct Twilight 3. According to reports, Juan Antonio Bayona of The Orphanage is onboard. However, according to some other reports, Drew Barrymore is going to direct Twilight 3. Phew, that was close - for a second there we almost wanted to see it.
Twilight 3: Coming Out About Three Seconds After Twilight 2
Good news, Twilight fans - the producers have realised that you'll all hate Twilight the instant you hit puberty. Seriously, they're chucking the buggers out. Although the first Twilight movie was only released about 10 minutes ago, Twilight 2 is coming out in November - and now it's been announced that Twilight 3 is coming out seven months after that. It's a bit like when pea-growers freeze their peas minutes quickly before they stop being fresh - except this is about rubbish Christian emo films instead of peas, and a chronic fear of Robert Pattinson getting bald and even more facially warped instead of some off peas.
Good news, Twilight fans - the producers have realised that you'll all hate Twilight the instant you hit puberty. Seriously, they're chucking the buggers out. Although the first Twilight movie was only released about 10 minutes ago, Twilight 2 is coming out in November - and now it's been announced that Twilight 3 is coming out seven months after that. It's a bit like when pea-growers freeze their peas minutes quickly before they stop being fresh - except this is about rubbish Christian emo films instead of peas, and a chronic fear of Robert Pattinson getting bald and even more facially warped instead of some off peas.
