Articles tagged with: twilight 2
Twilight 2: Probably Directed By A Crazed Robert Pattinson Fan Now
Twilight is well-known for three things: 1) it's popular, 2) it's rubbish and 3) ooh Robert Pattinson! He's so dreamy! The first one of these is undoubtedly a good thing, and the third one at least distracts from the nagging sensation that Robert Pattinson is basically an even-less charismatic Orlando Bloom with better hair, but the second one? That could well be a problem. So, to try and make Twilight 2 less rubbish, it's been announced that Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke has been bumped out of the way to let someone else have a bash at the sequel. Which is, um, news. We think.
Twilight is well-known for three things: 1) it's popular, 2) it's rubbish and 3) ooh Robert Pattinson! He's so dreamy! The first one of these is undoubtedly a good thing, and the third one at least distracts from the nagging sensation that Robert Pattinson is basically an even-less charismatic Orlando Bloom with better hair, but the second one? That could well be a problem. So, to try and make Twilight 2 less rubbish, it's been announced that Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke has been bumped out of the way to let someone else have a bash at the sequel. Which is, um, news. We think.
There’s Going To Be A Twilight 2. Oh, Look Surprised
Do you think that the world can never have enough rubbish-looking teenage vampire films featuring hamfisted pro-abstinence agendas? You do? Well then, we've got two very exciting pieces of news for you! 1) Twilight, probably your favourite rubbish-looking teenage vampire film featuring a hamfisted pro-abstinence agenda, has been so hugely successful in its opening week that a sequel has already been greenlit, and 2) gosh, you're an infuriating bellsack. Will Twilight 2 be a success? Hardly - the screaming teenage girls who love Twilight will soon realise that handsome, dangerous boys willing to wait for sex don't actually exist. Brokenhearted, they'll hurl their virginity at the first boy to notice them, quickly get pregnant and wind up with five babies from five different fathers and zero self-esteem by the time Twilight 2 is released in 2010. Or at least that's what we hope, anyway.
Do you think that the world can never have enough rubbish-looking teenage vampire films featuring hamfisted pro-abstinence agendas? You do? Well then, we've got two very exciting pieces of news for you! 1) Twilight, probably your favourite rubbish-looking teenage vampire film featuring a hamfisted pro-abstinence agenda, has been so hugely successful in its opening week that a sequel has already been greenlit, and 2) gosh, you're an infuriating bellsack. Will Twilight 2 be a success? Hardly - the screaming teenage girls who love Twilight will soon realise that handsome, dangerous boys willing to wait for sex don't actually exist. Brokenhearted, they'll hurl their virginity at the first boy to notice them, quickly get pregnant and wind up with five babies from five different fathers and zero self-esteem by the time Twilight 2 is released in 2010. Or at least that's what we hope, anyway.
