It’s always incredibly realistic in soapsville, with characters suffering incredibly similar fates to us television watching plebs. Think about it. On your street, there’s been thousands of murderous affairs and trams crashing into factories. They should be called documentaries really.
And over at Eastenders, it’s wedding time for love’s young (and depressingly damp) dream Tamwar and Afia this week! Yes, the wedding which has dragged on for at least 17 years, is finally going ahead but not before that Yusef fella has one last attempt at being sneaky and dastardly in order to win back the love of Zainab.
Tamwar decides to grow a pair and tells Zainab that he wants Masood at the wedding and Zainab agrees saying it would raise questions if he wasn’t there. Questions like ‘Where’s Masood?’ we’re guessing. Yusef invites Christian and Syed to the wedding but then he goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like; ‘Shut up about being gay and having children’ making perpetually tormented Syed take the huff….BUT THEN Zainab invites them both giving the nation hope that they might see Syed backflip one more time.
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That’s almost it, then – just over a day and 2009 will be filed away forever, possibly under ‘quite wet’.
We’re not writing this now, of course. We’re ensconced in the bosom of our families. But this hastily thrown-together list of TV shows that the hecklerspray writers quite liked is probably enough to fool you into thinking that we’re still around, right? Right? Of course it is.
Anyway, TV shows that we liked and you probably didn’t. Don’t forget to tell us how spectacularly misinformed we are, either. Let’s go!
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Oprah Winfrey rules all mediums; television, radio, magazines and – thanks to Screaming Round Lady Go-Go 100% – Japanese anime.
But there’s one medium that Oprah Winfrey hasn’t dabbled in for a while – movies. Sure, she was nominated for an Oscar for The Color Purple, but that was over 20 years ago.
So it’s great to hear that Oprah Winfrey has just signed a deal to make mini-series, movies, documentaries and series. Best of all, she’s making them all for HBO, so she can either be like The Sopranos and be intelligent and groundbreaking or be like Entourage and be annoyingly smug. You know, for a change.
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December 28, and an admission. The reason why we aren't here throwing celebrity news at you like bananas in a monkey factory is because the whole hecklerspray family has gone camping.
It isn't going well. Laidlow, hammered on alcopops, has thrown up in Lindseth's sleeping bag and made him cry. Laverty tripped over the guy rope and dropped all our eggs on a cowpat. C J Davies keeps walking into a tree head-first again and again, convinced he'll be able to move it with the power of his mind and nobody has seen Annette since she went off to film that witch's hut. Only Stuart Heritage has managed to rise above this pathetic scene. Really, he's like some sort of hero or something.
Anyway, want to know what our favourite TV shows of the year were? Good, they're all here…
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