Articles tagged with: TV Review
TV Review: Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum
"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" asked Arnold Schwarznegger in improbable 90s action film Kindergarten Cop. If the bumstains on Young, Dumb and Living off Mum were to answer, they'd say "daddy is the best, he does what I tell him", and then run off to cry because their new Porsche is the wrong shade of blue. YDALOM is a reality show following eight spoiled, lazy buggers as they're forced out of the comfort zone of being pampered by mummy, and into a house together. Like Big Brother, except with feckless young idiots. Each week, they perform a task, and at the end, one of them is evicted. Nothing at all like Big Brother.
"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" asked Arnold Schwarznegger in improbable 90s action film Kindergarten Cop. If the bumstains on Young, Dumb and Living off Mum were to answer, they'd say "daddy is the best, he does what I tell him", and then run off to cry because their new Porsche is the wrong shade of blue. YDALOM is a reality show following eight spoiled, lazy buggers as they're forced out of the comfort zone of being pampered by mummy, and into a house together. Like Big Brother, except with feckless young idiots. Each week, they perform a task, and at the end, one of them is evicted. Nothing at all like Big Brother.
Television Review: Coach Trip
Remember when you were a child and you went on holiday, you inevitably ended up making best friends with some other family, spent two weeks doing everything together and then promised to meet back up when you got home. And never did. But what of the other berks you met out there: The beer-bellied, tattooed chap wearing Union Flags anywhere possible, drinking in English pubs and eating English food. While in France. Or the perma-drunks, slurring their complaints at the waiter, while not even bothering to learn a single word of Spanish? Or the wife-swapping tapas eaters that didn't notice their daughter had been abducted? What if you had the power to make them bugger off back home and stop spoiling your week away from reality? This is the premise behind Channel 4's Coach Trip, a reality show that follows a handful of couples on a free holiday around Europe.
Remember when you were a child and you went on holiday, you inevitably ended up making best friends with some other family, spent two weeks doing everything together and then promised to meet back up when you got home. And never did. But what of the other berks you met out there: The beer-bellied, tattooed chap wearing Union Flags anywhere possible, drinking in English pubs and eating English food. While in France. Or the perma-drunks, slurring their complaints at the waiter, while not even bothering to learn a single word of Spanish? Or the wife-swapping tapas eaters that didn't notice their daughter had been abducted? What if you had the power to make them bugger off back home and stop spoiling your week away from reality? This is the premise behind Channel 4's Coach Trip, a reality show that follows a handful of couples on a free holiday around Europe.
Television Review: Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Gosh, women, eh? What with their rubbish driving, bitching and other stupid stereotypes. None of them true, of course, apart from the one about being self-obsessed weirdy Jordan-a-likes. All of them. Wouldn't it be great to give the especially mad ones a chance to run around on TV for a bit showing off, and then scrub them down to try something different? Yes? Yes, you say? Excellent, what you need is Snog, Marry, Avoid?. The "?" in the title is purely there to make your sentences looks weird when it sits at the end. Should it be "?." or just "?" or get rid of it completely?
Gosh, women, eh? What with their rubbish driving, bitching and other stupid stereotypes. None of them true, of course, apart from the one about being self-obsessed weirdy Jordan-a-likes. All of them. Wouldn't it be great to give the especially mad ones a chance to run around on TV for a bit showing off, and then scrub them down to try something different? Yes? Yes, you say? Excellent, what you need is Snog, Marry, Avoid?. The "?" in the title is purely there to make your sentences looks weird when it sits at the end. Should it be "?." or just "?" or get rid of it completely?
Television Review: Beat The Star
Beat the Star, not just Chris Brown's favourite pass-time, but also a ridiculous game-show from ITV. Think of it as half-celebrity Krypton Factor. Not necessarily the Z-list celebrities that usually show up on anything with a 'Celebrity' twist, but one contestant is a celebrity, and the other... less so. Tonight we meet a bloke called Glenn, who hasn't done anything of note in his pathetic life. He's up against England rugby legend (they have legends in rugby, apparently) Austin Healey, who, awesomely, shares his name with a car. It's like Mr. and Mrs. Focus calling their son Ford, or the Cooper family having a girl called Mini. What were they thinking?
Beat the Star, not just Chris Brown's favourite pass-time, but also a ridiculous game-show from ITV. Think of it as half-celebrity Krypton Factor. Not necessarily the Z-list celebrities that usually show up on anything with a 'Celebrity' twist, but one contestant is a celebrity, and the other... less so. Tonight we meet a bloke called Glenn, who hasn't done anything of note in his pathetic life. He's up against England rugby legend (they have legends in rugby, apparently) Austin Healey, who, awesomely, shares his name with a car. It's like Mr. and Mrs. Focus calling their son Ford, or the Cooper family having a girl called Mini. What were they thinking?
TV Review: Ten Years Younger: The Challenge
"Age ain't nothing but a number," sang the grammatical illiterate Aaliyah. And with that double negative, she agreed with the production team behind Ten Years Younger: The Challenge. See, age is more than a number, it's a bloody great stick that can be used to beat a drab, middle-aged lady into agreeing to have her nose caved in and sanded down all in the name of entertaining you. You turd.
"Age ain't nothing but a number," sang the grammatical illiterate Aaliyah. And with that double negative, she agreed with the production team behind Ten Years Younger: The Challenge. See, age is more than a number, it's a bloody great stick that can be used to beat a drab, middle-aged lady into agreeing to have her nose caved in and sanded down all in the name of entertaining you. You turd.
TV Review: All the Small Things, BBC1, 31/03
You might think that creating a TV programme off the back of a song by a guitar-based pop group was a bad idea, and you’d be right, mostly.
You might think that creating a TV programme off the back of a song by a guitar-based pop group was a bad idea, and you’d be right, mostly. All the Small Things won us over quite early on with a choral rendition of Bond theme Nobody Does It Better. It is a shame that the rest of ATST didn’t quite live up to the high bar they’d set themselves.
TV Review: Booze Britain, Bravo
Is there anything worse than people? No, people are literally the worst things ever. In the olden days of TV, when everything was rosy and Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps was but a twinkle of a fart in the brain of a five-year-old, there were people called "writers", who would sit down and put words into other people's mouths. This was "scriptwriting" and involved planning a TV programme out in advance.
Is there anything worse than people? No, people are literally the worst things ever. In the olden days of TV, when everything was rosy and Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps was but a twinkle of a fart in the brain of a five-year-old, there were people called "writers", who would sit down and put words into other people's mouths. This was "scriptwriting" and involved planning a TV programme out in advance.
TV Reviews: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories
Guest blog! Nik Johnson! Is there anyone who is even faintly impressed by Piers Morgan? Anyone that sees his name and knows that his involvement is going to be a mark of quality? ITV seems to think so, and has thoughtfully brought us Piers Morgan's Life Stories. It's a tabloid TV show in the vein of his tell-all Daily Mirror interviews, where celebrities are invited on to shout their brains (or not in the case of this week's guest, Ulrika Jonsson.)
Guest blog! Nik Johnson! Is there anyone who is even faintly impressed by Piers Morgan? Anyone that sees his name and knows that his involvement is going to be a mark of quality? ITV seems to think so, and has thoughtfully brought us Piers Morgan's Life Stories. It's a tabloid TV show in the vein of his tell-all Daily Mirror interviews, where celebrities are invited on to shout their brains (or not in the case of this week's guest, Ulrika Jonsson.)
