TRopic Thunder - HecklerSpray

Great News: Disaster Movie Not Top Of US Weekend Box Office

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Every year they’ve come and every year they’ve made a little part of us die inside – Date Movie, Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans...

So we met the news of Disaster Movie‘s release with a kind of grim stoicism. Yes, Disaster Movie would be an awful hodge-podge of cackhanded spoofs so hopelessly broad that only the very worst kind of dribbling crosseyed halfwit would enjoy, but it’d end up as number one in the weekend box office and our burgeoning misanthropy would get another power-boost.

But no – Disaster Movie isn’t top of the US weekend box office. Disaster Movie isn’t even in the weekend box office top five. Tropic Thunder‘s still number one. Thanks, humanity! A bit!

Tom Cruise Weathers Tropic(al) Thunder to Walk Katie Holmes to Work. Or Something.

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

It would appear that Katie Holmes didn’t manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl.

She did manage to escape to the other side of the US ‘to be in a Broadway show’, as the official story put it – we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of ‘I have a job over there’ didn’t hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes.

We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there’s just no way around it. She’s consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work.

Why didn’t you run, Katie? Why?

Tropic Thunder Beats The Dark Knight Thanks to Blacked-up Retards

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Well it certainly took long enough but The Dark Knight has finally fallen, to the might of Tropic Thunder and its wall of controversy.

While we all thought we would have to live in a world where no other films would ever get anywhere near The Dark Knight – a world where daily recitals of The Joker’s best speeches were made to be recited every morning in our schools, where every car is replaced with a Batmobile and where Morgan Freeman is elected King of Everything (with Christian Bale as his alleged muscle, obviously) – we have been proven wrong.

We worried for a while, but fortunately the ‘Greatest Film of All Time(tm)’ has been dethroned by Ben Stiller, Jack Black and a blacked-up Robert Downey Jr. And it’s sure to make the latter quite happy about it.

Ben Stiller’s Booty Sweat Is Finally Here! And it’s Cherry Flavored!

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

You know how you’re always wishing that there were more beverages named after perspiration from objectionable areas of the body?

Well, wish no more! Paramount Pictures is introducing a new, cherry-licious drink called Booty Sweat. The drink comes from the upcoming Ben Stiller fiasco, Tropic Thunder, and is being marketed in conjunction with the film.

And for the calorie-conscious, like ourselves who strive to keep our girlish figure for our lovely readers, we’re anxiously hoping for Diet Booty Sweat. Same great taste, new fruit flavor, but lower in Back Sauce!