Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Yes, it’s that time again when hecklerspray leads you by the hand through the murky, briny underbelly of the internet in our Tumblr Trawler. For those of you that might be wondering, it’s actually a real boat that we use to burn the carcasses of hecklerspray writers who have passed onto Valhalla.?
It’s been a bumper week for stupid sole-purpose Tumblrs this week and it’s taken us ages (two minutes) to narrow all the competitors down into a chart rundown of the top 5.
Remember the other week when we brought you the wonderful music of The Candle Thieves via our MySpace Trawl feature? Of course you ruddy do!
It appears the band have been able to use all sorts of pretty colours and sellotape them together to create a video for The Sunshine Song. Don’t go thinking its a botched job down on a hand held camera for ?20.
Oh no, what we have is a wonderfully crafted video which perfectly reflects the sound of the song. Thank God for that, the last thing we wanted to see was the duo standing on a building looking moody in the rain.
After hearing the first 30 seconds of The Lovely Eggs song Have You Heard A Digital Accordion we immediately smashed our piggybank to go and purchase a copy of the bands 7″ EP.
With quirky upbeat and addictive songs such as Digital Accordion, it remains a physical impossibility for anyone to sway along or attempt to sing the songs.
The band is made up of David Blackwell and Holly Ross, who was at one point in some sort of Brit girlband called Angelica. We can’t remember them, so they must have been a bit rubbish. Anyway, their musical decline must have been for a reason – so she could write and record glorious nursery rhymes with dashings of weird and wonderful sounds with The Lovely Eggs
After a brief stint away to contemplate life and the existence of X Factor, this typically patchy feature returns to guide you towards music you might not know.
Whilst away in foreign shores, we found the lack of music amazing. Each night we were treated to tribute acts that varied from laughable to ghastly. A personal highlight included the P Diddy and Usher rappers who kept on forgetting the words. Never a good start.
But getting away from all things, er, gangster we thought we’d direct you towards the funktastic Mr Scruff.
It’s ace having quality bands and solo artists on your doorstep. Before they break through onto the national scene, you’re guaranteed to catch them playing a gig in and around various cities close to you.
In a slightly personalised trawl this week, it’s time to expose you in to one such artist who has a strong reputation in the live Newcastle/Sunderland music scene.
Already tagged as a UK equivalent to LCD Soundsystem, Razmataz Lorry Excitement aka Kevin Dosdale serves up electro with soul that carries punk elements and doesn’t have an electronic boys and girls sound. Another plus point is the use of back-to-basics hardware in live performances and the creation of actual tracks. In an age where bedroom producers rely on software, it is refreshing to see someone actually work like a loon behind stacks of samplers and other music-making toys that’ll boggle your mind.
For some reason, the UK has taken it upon themselves to hate every other nation in the world.
Mostly through headlines on grubby downmarket tabloids, we are always reminded to hate the Germans because of the war and the Scottish due to an old butchering rivalry, with the other country that deluded working class white boys high on cider and bad drugs seem to hate being France.
Now why should we hate the French? They’ve given us plenty of things to like – from wine, through Va-Va-Vaoom and even a strange love of horse burgers (it’s like a tough steak). Granted, the last choice is more for animal protestors to piss and moan over.
But no, getting drunk off a Frenchman’s grapes isn’t good enough; we have to assume they all eat baguettes, cycle everywhere on crap bikes and wear necklaces of garlic instead of buying stuff from H&M. Thank the lord for Telepopmusik then eh?
As we probably used to mention ages ago when this feature was just a small child struggling to find its feet, we like to cover all sorts of music.
Most of the time it will be quite accessible, but then we may crank it up a notch to leave you with a horrible taste in your mouth. You know, like when slurping down some two month old milk complete with that yummy lumpy flavouring.
After the last few weeks of giving you nice and pleasant stuff to download and share it’s about time to offer something that will hopefully make you laugh. Or if you’re Mary Whitehouse, send us verbal abuse for us to ignore.
Kunt And The Gang offer an alternative view of love songs. Well that’s what we think anyway. Whatever the case, they still amuse us.
Unless you need a slap, you’ll be firmly aware that Medusa “dick on the Towers of London.”
Ever since we found this bunch of rock ‘n’ rollers hiding in the shadowy corners of Myspace on one of our trawls, we have been firm fans.
Nowadays it appears that you can get a one way ticket to brief musical stardom by brandishing an Argos syringe and screaming “look at me I’ve just pricked the skin and all this yellow gunk is squirting out!”
Whatever happened to the good old days of bands getting up to all sort of fiendish antics which resulted in everyone getting a laugh and some poor bastard suffering for a little bit? Can you count on The Kooks, Scouting For Girls or some other indie twonks to do this?
Don’t be daft – you need a real band. After an overdue absence Medusa have returned with another tale which sounds so random that it belongs in one of those Family Guy cutaway scenes.
It’s crap getting older; you can’t do much, going to the toilet seems to get harder and, worst of all, little kids abuse you in the street.
Well they do if you don’t meet their demands of fetching them super strength cider and the occasional packet of Benson & Hedges. Talking of our cherished youngsters, we are apparently meant to respect them because they’re the future of tomorrow.
Granted, that statement is true to an extent – you won’t see a pensioner dishing out chips in a café or cleaning pigeon shit off the roads. Those jobs are for kids with their energy and eagerness. However, it’s not always great to praise everything the younger generation do. Especially when they’re ridiculously better at it then you. Khonnor is only 18-20 but he’s already crafted albums and EPs of electronic beauty. The rascal.
One day, our constant stereotype abuse will probably land us with either a smack in the chops or a lawsuit.
If anything, we’d prefer the latter, not because it’ll make us look big, hard and more attractive to socialites but due to the fact we have bugger all to our name. If a Hollywood superstar wants our collection of cigarette packets or dated takeaway menus, then let bring it on!
This week’s band – Dananananaykroyd hail from bonny Scotland. So naturally, we assumed that they’d be red headed, wear nothing but tartan and have a diet that consisted of only deep-fried Mars Bars and gallons of Irn Bru. Oh, and we thought that bagpipes had to feature somewhere. Apart from the bagpipes, we aren’t sure if our assumptions on the band are true, but maybe in a probing interview one day we can find that out. For now, we’ll concentrate on their music.
