Travis Barker - HecklerSpray

Some Div From Blink 182 Considering Hypnotherapy Because A Plane Sensibly Tried To Kill

October 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Blink 182’s (pronounced ‘blink one hundred and eighty-two, or, if you prefer ‘oh god, it’s that dreadful puke mongers again!’) Travis Barker has decided to let the world know that he’s considering undergoing hypnotherapy to overcome his fear of flying.

Why does he have a fear of flying? Is it because he thinks that, if God intended man to fly, he would have given us wings or at the very least, put grass in the clouds?

Nope. It’s because a plane crash nearly killed him in 2008. You have to assume that the plane has heard Blink 182’s terrible take on punk rock and decided that enough was enough, aiming to either kill Barker or, at the least, maim him.

World’s Soul Screams Unending Cry Of Agony As Blink-182 Reform

May 17th, 2009 By Paul Gibson

God, why do you hate us so?

If we made a human body out of all the music ever written, then Beethoven, Mozart and that lot would be the brain. The strong right arm would be made out of bits of Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. The speedy legs would be stitched together from pieces of Napalm Death, Slayer and Crazy Frog.

We?d probably use U2 and Coldplay for the testicles.

And Blink-182? we're seeing them as the long, black hair sticking out of that suspicious mole on our back, that keeps annoying us by getting snagged when we put our shirt on.

Shanna Moakler Splits With Travis Barker. Again. Again. Again.

April 3rd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Did you know that Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker had got back together? No? Do you know who Shanna Moakler is? No?

Well shame on you. This is big news. How big? Former drummer of annoying pop-punk band splitting up with the wife he’d already divorced once a year ago big. That’s as big as it gets. Probably.

Anyway, Shanna Moakler has split up with Travis Barker for possibly the billionth time. Usually at this point we’d say it was the kids who we felt most sorry for, but it’s not. It’s us who we feel most sorry for. Us.

Travis Barker Wants To Thank You, And You, But Not His Ex-Wife

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

It’s been a few weeks now since Travis Barker and DJ AM escaped from the horrifying plane crash that tragically killed four people.

Between then and now, both Travis Barker and DJ AM have probably gone through more extremes of conflicting emotion than most of us could probably comprehend. And so, when Travis Barker finally decided to post his first message to his fans via his MySpace page since the crash, anticipation about what he’d write was strong.

Would it be a cursory ‘Hi everyone, I’m OK, thanks for the support’ message, or would Travis Barker go into more excrutiating detail about the crash itself. Neither, as it happens. Instead, Travis Barker decided to slag his ex-wife Shannon Moakler off a bit. We get the feeling he’ll be just fine.

Report: Burst Tyre Caused Travis Barker Plane Crash

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Horrible news if you missed it – this weekend former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and DJ Am were involved in a plane crash that killed four people.

While it’s a near miracle that Travis Barker and DJ AM – real name Adam Goldstein – weren’t killed when their Learjet skidded off a runway in South Carolina on Friday night, the pair of them have suffered serious second- and third-degree burns.

However, both Travis Barker and DJ AM are expected to make full recoveries from their injuries. Meanwhile, investigators have claimed that a burst tyre prior to take-off my have led to the crash.

Travis Barker & Shanna Moakler Divorced – Remember Them?

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Sad news, folks,Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are divorced.

Oh come on, you know who Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are – he used to be in Blink 182 and she, um, she's Shanna Moakler. Anyway, even though Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler split up 18 months ago, they've only just got divorced. Still don't really know who either of them are? No, us neither really. Let's just pretend that we do, anyway. Ready?

Nope, still don't care about them.

Blink 182 Bloke Angry With Drinks Company

March 31st, 2009 By C J Davies

Remember Blink 182?

Despite only disbanding as recently as 2005 (apparently), this trio of punk-pop muppets were really big in the year 1999, which led many to believe that a global technogical meltdown at the turn of the century would have been preferable to hearing All The Small Things one more time. Alas, it wasn't to be, and album Enema Of The State (do you see what they did there? Do you?) went on to sell approximately sixty million billion trillion copies the world over.

You'd think, then, that the Blinksters would be a relatively chilled-out bunch these days, happy to kick back and watch the odd royalty cheque pop through the letterbox. Unfortunately, you'd be quite massively wrong – because the band's former drummer Travis Barker is mightily pissed off about something and he wants the whole wide world to know it.