It doesn’t matter what you’re doing at the moment – whether you’re slumped at your desk depressed about being back at work, or bored at home because you’re still snowed in – because Transform will cheer your day up immeasurably.
Transform is an Eyezmaze game – and Eyezmaze games are our favourite things in the world – which is why we’re so overjoyed about it. Your role in Transform is to avoid capture by a lion from turning from an antelope into a tree. It sounds odd, but trust us – Transform is exactly as glorious and peculiar and ingenious as you could ever expect it to be. A marvel.
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Remember Chantelle Houghton?
Sure you do – she was the winner of Celebrity Big Brother a couple of years ago, back when people actually watched it and the show wasn't relegated to E4 with an audience consisting entirely of Dermot O' Leary's mother (who only tuned in out of a sense of grim, WW2-like duty).
Well, brace yourselves. Bet you all thought that Chantelle's naturally graceful poise and beauty was just the result of superior breeding, didn't you? Bet you wept tears of jealousy knowing that a mere mortal like yourself could never attain such heights of genetic perfection? Fear not, children. It turns out that your bitter, fuming, stranger-stabbing envy was completely unfounded.
Chantelle, you see – and a number of other pointless oxygen-thieving 'celebrities' – have apparently been treating themselves to a bit of discount plastic surgery every now and then.
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