Back in ’89, Back to the Future 2 premiered on cinema screens and everyone went wild for hoverboards and his Nike Air Mag. As hoverboards aren’t likely to hit production anytime soon, Nike seem to be toying with the idea of releasing the sneakers to the world.

Wise move. You’ll get ironic buyers and people who just think they’re the bee’s knees. In fairness, self-lacing hi-tops are pretty cool.

Over the jump, you’ll see a video called ‘Marty McFly’s Closet’ which should get you retronauts all giddy for a pair of ‘Air Mags’. So what else should make the leap from fiction to reality?

Before we get going, here’s the video of a stock room filled with Nike Air Mags.

Is it going to excite you to the point where you’ll wet yourself? Do you think it’ll have the little button that clasps them shut around your horrible, stinkin’ feet?

Either way, have a look.

So what other products would we like to see? Of course, we encourage you to get in the comments and tell us what you’d like to see on the shelves.

Big Kahuna Burger

Burgers, by and large, are pretty disappointing. That’s because they’re not unhealthy enough. While people argue the toss over McDonald’s and Burger King (or Wendy’s if you’re lucky enough to live in America), it is clear that the king of burgers is the Big Kahuna Burger. Why? Because Samuel L. Jackson says so while wearing an afro. That’s all the review you need. It is obviously dripping in grease and a heart attack waiting to happen. Perfect.

Skittlebrau

If Fruli and Rekorderlig exist in this world of ours, then why not Skittlebrau? If it’s good enough for a seasoned ale-can like Homer Simpson, then it’s surely good enough for the rest of us. Why Skittles haven’t teamed up with someone to make this obviously delicious summer beverage, we’ve no idea.

The Orgasmatron

Similar to ‘the excessive machine’ in Barbarella, The Orgasmatron is a device from Woody Allen’s Sleeper. Basically, it’s a huge cylinder that you and someone else climb into and… well… you can guess what happens next. Who wouldn’t want one of these in their house?

Suicide Booth

Life is hard. Why muck about chucking yourself off a bridge into oncoming traffic? You might gently land on a traffic jam. Overdose? Seems a bit grotty. And so, Futurama’s ‘Suicide Booth’ would be perfect. Stick in 25 cents and you’re away, crossing to the other side without a care in the world. Marvellous.

Heisler Beer

While many think of Duff as the greatest fictional beer, it is in fact Heisler that takes the crown. Heisler is a fake brand of beer that’s been in TV and film for years. Heisler (available in regular and light) has starred in Malcolm in the Middle, My Name is Earl and, most notably, Denzel Washington offers Ethan Hawke a Heisler in a famous scene in Training Day. It’s the Wilhelm Scream of drinks. The company that invented the brew – ISS – also make Jekyll Island Beer, which starred in Lost.

Anything made by Acme

Acme are, without doubt, the greatest company that never existed. You will have seen them in Looney Toons and they make absolutely everything, and all of it defective. Wile E. Coyote is their biggest customer, but even Elmer Fudd once bought an Acme Wild Cat, who alas, didn’t attack the subject intended. They’ve made sinister parcel wrapping devices, rocket powered roller skates, exploding tennis balls, bat costumes and more. Acme even made the leap from cartoons to other shows, making an appearance in I Love Lucy. Wile. E even sued Acme! Click here to read his lawsuit.

So, what have we missed out? Feel free to demand fictional products in the comments.

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Paul Daniels and David Blaine. What have they got in common? They're magic! They defy the powers of the world and cast illusions the likes we mere mortals have never seen.

From shitting out badgers to changing magic wands into flowers, they make Jesus’ trick of turning water in to wine look like nothing. But if you thought that was impressive, wait until you hear about something magical happening in the fashion world. No, models aren’t upping their dietary intake up to an apple and a Twix a day. Instead, the most unlikely of people is launching his own line of shoes. Everyone’s favourite dead rock star Kurt Cobain has somehow given his approval for Converse to whore out his name and make money off his back.

Great to know his anti-corporate values are still being respected then! 

It’s been a strange month for the deceased Nirvana frontman. Not so long ago £36 million had been taken from his account and a further amount used to buy a mansion in New Jersey. Whilst we all hoped that Kurt Cobain had defied the laws of possibility to come back and make more oh-so-happy songs about how shit the world is, it didn’t happen. Instead, pesky thieves had been rifling the money.  

To claw back the cash from this robbery, Kurt Cobain has kindly let Converse make trainers to be sold for sky-high prices under his name. NME reports: 

“The Nirvana frontman is to get a limited edition Converse shoe bearing his name, lyrics, writing and signature to mark the brand's 100th anniversary.”  

How he’ll be able to write his name is a wonder to us. Maybe there'll be a shoe-signing special of Most Haunted with Derek Acorah. What fun it could be to see Kurt Cobain come through a physic medium. All with a Scouse accent like 99.9% of all ghosts seem to be when they talk through Acorah. 

This isn't the first time that you have been able to walk like a dead man. Last year, Courtney Love got all pissy when Doc Martens used adverts that featured Cobain as an angel. Maybe she had a bad experience with Doc Martens in the past. Perhaps she got a blister once whilst wearing their clobber.

Everyone knows that Courtney Love would never sell the image of her ex to make some money! That would be daft. We just want a comfortable shoe with a dead celebrity’s cheesy grin on it. Soon, Adidas will be launching its own royal variety. You’ll be the coolest kid on the block sporting your own Princess Diana shoes or losing out to the rich kid who has secured his own pair of Henry VIII limited edition trainers in salmon pink. 

Read more: 

Kurt Cobain 'honoured' with signature trainer - NME