Stephen is your ultimate swindler. A man who’s made his fortune from complex cons and tricked countless millionaires out of their hard-earned green.

Except, he never works alone. His brother Bloom (Adrien Brody) is the missing link and Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) needs his help for the last and greatest con of his career: Tricking a gormless New Jersey heiress out of $25 million cash.

Joined by a Japanese arsonist called ‘Bang Bang’ and a Belgian, the pair infiltrate the life of wealthy Penelope (Rachel Weiss)life and take her on an adventure around the world, planning to end her trip in the clutches of ‘fake’ Russian mobsters.

But there’s a problem… as they move from Athens to Prague and Mexico, Bloom begins to fall in love with Penelope but the group are in too deep, entangled by their own web of lies. Things begin to take an unexpected turn and what begins as the ‘con to end all cons’, turns into a  series of hilarious accidents.

Packed with romance, comedy and action, Brodie and his crew are on a mission to deprive you of your money.

Ready for the first Hannah Montana movie trailer? Good, because Miley Cyrus doesn’t seem to be.

You see, it’s obvious that Miley Cyrus really, really doesn’t want you to go and see the Hannah Montana movie when it’s released in April. That’s why she’s gone out of way to make the whole thing seem as grossly appalling as possible.

Look, there’s Miley Cyrus introducing the movie with the voice of a chainsmoking miniature troll who’s been possessed by the devil! Look, Miley Cyrus can’t stop pulling a genuinely disturbing look of self-hatred every time she says her own name!

What? There’s still a part of you that wants to go and see the Hannah Montana movie? Wait – Miley Cyrus isn’t done yet! Look, here’s Miley robotically referring to the Hannah Montana movie as “her first big-screen adventure” – which is essentially a slightly shorter way of saying “her integral second-quarter generic mass-marketed media, stationery or sweatshop-produced fashion product.” Here’s an insufferable berk on a horse! Here’s an actual verbal promise of an appearance by Rascal Flatts! Boy oh boy, this Hannah Montana movie is going to be awesome!

But none of this can disguise the fact that Hugh Jackman is Wolverine, nothing but Wolverine and will remain Wolverine until the day he dies. That’s why he’s made a new film that’s only about that one character, and that’s why we’ve got the new Wolverine trailer for you here.

But if you can’t wait for X-Men Origins: Wolverine to be released, or you can’t be bothered to go and see it when it’s released, we’ve knocked out a brief synopsis of the movie based on the trailers. There may be spoilers. But, somehow, we think there probably won’t…

Wolverine starts life as an actor in a touring civil war reenactment troupe who is driven to despair by his inability to do anything other than stare off into the middle distance with a vaguely anguished look on his face. To cheer himself up, Wolverine goes to an unlicensed beauty spa and almost drowns. Rather than write to Watchdog to complain about this infringement on his consumer rights, Wolverine kills everyone, then blows something up, then rides a motorbike through an explosion, then blows something else up, then smashes through a wall, then a window and then he blows up a jeep, flies through the air and lands on a helicopter for some reason.

Why does Wolverine look so furious throughout his entire trailer? We’re not sure, but we think it has something to do with the fact that his best friend is Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas. We’d be constantly putting our life at risk if he was our friend, too.

It’s hard to tell if the Wolverine trailer makes the film look like an epic John Woo-style action ballet or an overblown load of tosh. But one thing’s for sure – we want X-Men Origins: Wolverine to be a success.

That’s because the sequel’s bound to be X-Men Origins: That Bloody Halle Berry Woman, and there just aren’t enough opportunities to fall asleep in a cinema these days, are there?

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Fortunately there’s a Japanese Terminator Salvation trailer online now, and that goes some way to offering an answer to that question. So is Terminator Salvation going to be rubbish? Here are the three things we took from the trailer:

1 - Realising that the entire point of the original Terminator was that John Connor saves the day, Terminator Salvation has been set in a different future, where everything is exactly the same but John Connor is a bit crappier. In summary: rubbish.

2 - What’s that big metal thing at the end? Terminator Salvation needs to work out if it wants to rip off Transformers or Cloverfield. It can’t do both. In summary: rubbish.

3 - Why is Christian Bale still doing his stupid Batman voice? Why? It’s literally the worst voice from any character in any movie ever made? Does he want us to hate him? Does he? Huh? Honestly, the first person to force a lozenge into that man’s mouth wins our undying respect forever. In summary: go on, guess.

This isn’t down to Avatar’s game-changing adoption of brand new 3D technology, though, or the fact it’s been a decade in the making because most cinemas just haven’t been equipped to screen it until now. No, Avatar is supposed to be a masterpiece because it’s a Michelle Rodriguez film that doesn’t make people want to deliberately hurt themselves.

And now we can see the very first fruits of James Cameron’s Avatar – the Avatar teaser trailer has just been premiered on the internet.

So what does this teaster trailer teach us about Avatar? Well, it’s early days but we think we’re correct in assuming that James Cameron + bleeding edge computer animated motion capture technology + a rumoured production budget of close to $300 million = a MTV2 alternative rock video from 1993. With something that sounds worryingly like a Robson and Jerome soundtrack. This film is going to rule.

UPDATE – OK, there goes our credibility. Turns out this is a fake trailer after all. But the real one had better feature hundreds of library clips of clocks and plants, too, or else we’re going to get punchy.

At least we’re told that it’s a trailer for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince. Having watched it a few times, we’re pretty sure that it’s actually a trailer for one of the following:

Harry Potter And The Fascinating Geological Formations

Harry Potter And The Heavy-Handed Jesus Allegory

Harry Potter And The Spooky Crops

Harry Potter And Another Bloody Quidditch Sequence

Lord Of The Rings

Anyway, will Harry Potter survive the threat against him in Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince? Yes. Yes he will. We checked.

We’re not, but that’s because we’ve seen the new trailer for Quantum Of Solace and therefore have worked out every single moment of the movie from beginning to end with an almost perfect accuracy rate. Want us to talk you through it? Good. Here’s what we know for a fact:

*Quantum Of Solace is about James Bond violently getting revenge for a chair he bought that was quite squeaky.

*Apparently the baddies in the film are trading in ‘the world’s most precious resource’ which, as we all know, is Dairylea Dunkers. Quantum Of Solace is definitely about Dairylea Dunkers.

*Due to the credit crunch, no action sequence in Quantum Of Solace will last for more than quarter of a second, with each one fading to black because that just makes it seem more dramatic and stuff.

*At one point, James Bond asks George Lucas for help.

*Aside from these things, Quantum Of Solace will be exactly the same as Casino Royale and probably a bit disappointing.

PLOT - Bangkok Dangerous is a remake of Leaving Las Vegas where, rather than drinking himself to death, Nicolas Cage goes to Thailand determined to say the words “holiday” and “banking” to the locals in such a patronisingly oversimplistic way that they get offended and shoot him.

CHARACTERS – Nicolas Cage. Just Nicolas Cage. Playing Nicolas Cage. Other characters might appear from time to time, but only so that Nicolas Cage can either a) punch them, kick them, explode them, riddle them with machinegun fire or make them go “Ugh!” in a bathroom really quickly, or b) tenderly touch their hands if they’re a woman.

THEME – Nicolas Cage’s four rules – ‘don’t ask questions’, ‘there is no right and wrong’, ‘don’t take an interest in people outside of work’ and ‘know when to get out’ – seem to be the theme of Bangkok Dangerous. However, he actually has five rules – the final one is ‘Always wipe your bum from front to back so you don’t end up with shitty balls’. Oh, and another theme is unquestionably crap hair – but that’s a motif that runs through Nicolas Cage’s entire canon.

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince is the penultimate Harry Potter book, and although we snuck a look at the last page of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows once and therefore know exactly how everything ends, it still promises to be an exciting revenue stream rollercoaster of a movie experience.

So here it is, the brand new Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince trailer…

Now, we know that in all the excitement the Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince trailer just looked like a confusing jumble of words and pictures, so we’ve taken the time to decode it for for. That’s why we know that in Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince:

*Dumbledore comes out as a homosexual. He has to. Look at that scarf.

*There’s a creepy little kid who either turns out to be Voldemort or Darth Vader.

*Gandalf’s in it.

*In Hogwarts, they keep memories in little glass dildos.

*We discover what the other half of the half-blood prince is made out of. SPOILER ALERT – it’s marmalade.

You’re welcome.

We’ve got a few months left before the seventh season of 24 kicks off, but we’ve just been handed the very first sliver of a hint of a taste of what it’ll be like – a work print of the trailer for the Africa-set 24 season seven preview, 24: Exile.

So what’s it like? Is 24 back to its logic-defying, pedal-to-the-metal best? Or does it look like it’ll be another one of those seasons where Jack Bauer kicks his heroin addiction in 45 minutes and people get terrorised by mountain lions a lot? We’ve got the 24 preview trailer after the jump for you to make up your own mind, but here’s a hint – it’s not great.

You know that a show’s reached its absolute nadir when it shows a nuclear bomb going off in a major city at breakfast and everyone’s forgotten about it by lunchtime, don’t you? Or when the big baddie is the farmer out of Babe leaping around an oil rig like a marionette puppet from a German expressionist horror film.

Not coincidentally, the last season of 24 had both of those, plus a nurse from Scrubs being blinded on a beach by a bomb. It was rubbish. And it hasn’t helped that the new season of 24 has been so long in the waiting – held back by writers’ strikes and jail sentences – that anything less than total magnificence will be greeted with abuse from all quarters.

The new season of 24 needs to work. Not just for us, but for Kiefer Sutherland too – look at the trailer for his new movie Mirrors. It’s a creepy Asian-style horror film, but Kiefer’s wedged so tightly into the Jack Bauer groove that you get the feeling he’ll be tying the mirror-ghouls to a chair, sitting them in a bucket of water and electrocuting them with torn-out wires from a standard lamp until they tell him where the bomb is by the third act.

So, with that in mind, here’s the work print of the preview trailer for 24’s season seven preview – the two-hour 24: Exile. Although it’s just a work print, and shouldn’t be seen as a precise indication of what’s to come, we’ve still managed to glean a handful of tasty plot secrets from it. For instance:

*Season seven of 24 is set in a future where a woman can’t just be elected as president of America, but a woman who appears to be suffering from some sort of alarming face-bloat that’s possibly down to a severe food allergy. That’s progress.

*Jack Bauer wanted to go on holiday to escape his troubles, so he went to a volatile African country torn apart by civil war. From this we can deduce that Jack Bauer is an idiot and probably would have been better off going to the Isle Of Wight or something.

*Jack Bauer gets his face burnt off by a knife – a serious injury that we’re guessing will completely heal in about an hour and a half.

*Jack Bauer shoots a little boy in the face! Probably!

*Now that he’s ripped off Rambo as well as Die Hard, we can look forward to season eight of 24 where Jack Bauer rips off the last third of the Planet Hollywood action hero trio and becomes a destruction-fixated robot from the future. Or a pregnant man. But definitely one of those things.

OK, enough teasing – here’s the real 24 trailer…

So, what do you think? We’d love to know where you stand on this. Are we just setting ourselves up for disappointment by being so excited by the prospect of new 24? We are, aren’t we? We obviously are. It’s going to be rubbish. Jesus, we’re idiots.

Well, get ready to find out. The first footage from Quantum Of Solace has appeared online, and it gives a dead-on indication of what the finished movie will be like – it'll be ten seconds long and mostly about James Bond trying to kick a man's jaw off.

OK, so the online footage of Quantum of Solace isn't particularly revelatory – in fact watching it feels a little bit like listening to a toddler's breathless description of a petrol station blowing up – but we do have the video after the jump, and it's not something that any ADD sufferers who haven't got bored of endless parkour scenes in movies yet will want to miss.

The new James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace has got a lot riding on it. After Casino Royale effectively reinvented James Bond by giving him blonde hair, making him waddle around in a pair of girl's bikini bottoms and ripping off The Bourne Identity at every possible turn, Quantum Of Solace will be where we see if the new formula works for more than one movie.

The movie's certainly had a difficult birth. If it wasn't bad enough that Quantum Of Solace has got such a bad title that it'd be less embarrassing to go to a cinema naked and quack like a duck for an hour than to actually ever use its full title, production has also been beset by everything from crazy South American mayors to nasty car crashes to Amy Winehouse's drug problems to – worst of all – rampant Pacino speculation.

But enough about that – what's Quantum Of Solace actually like? Well, now we know, thanks to a ten-second Quantum Of Solace teaser preview that's turned up online.

It's basically a compilation of all the action sequences from the movie slammed into a blip and presented to you in glorious jump jump run run stairs throw boat walk drive fall table kick stairs jump boat-style. Ready?

Seriously, how awesome does that look? What do you mean you don't know because it's just a mishmash of unconnected clips set to vaguely pounding music and you can make any film look good by doing that even The Love Guru? Honestly, there's no pleasing some people, is there?

Obviously there's a lot missing from the Quantum Of Solace teaser trailer – like the plot and all the interminable scenes of Daniel Craig staring moodily into space thinking "Hey, look how different I am to Pierce Brosnan" – but at least we know that at one point James Bond falls down an atrium attached to a piece of rope. At least we know that.

However, let's not get too excited about The Incredible Hulk because reports are coming in that Incredible Hulk star Edward Norton and Incredible Hulk studio Marvel are clashing over the final edit, and things are getting so frosty that the movie's success might be jeopardised by the feud.

We don't know the details, but given that it's an Incredible Hulk movie, we hope the winner is the side who wants to do away with dialogue, narrative, female characters and feelings and just have two hours of the Hulk headbutting petrol tankers into fleets of exploding helicopters. And we think we pretty much speak for everyone here.

It's hard to think of a film more disappointing than Ang Lee's Hulk. Honestly, if we wanted to waste two hours watching a brainless thug look a bit sorry for himself we'd just watch one episode of Jeremy Kyle twice and be done with it. At least that way we don't have to put up with sitting through any sodding mutant poodle fights. 

So when it was announced that a new Incredible Hulk movie was being made it was hard not to get excited, especially since the director was Louis Leterrier who did Jet Li Unleashed. Finally, we thought, we'd be getting the Incredible Hulk movie we deserved – one where a massive green monster does nothing but punch down burning skyscrapers and javelin them through the eyes of giant mutant monsters.

Now The Incredible Hulk trailer is out, and it looks like our wish has come true. Take a look…

Well, OK, our wish has come half true. The first part of that trailer? With all the speaking? And the normal-sized humans? Bleurgh. Hopefully that's not indicative of the actual film.

And the truth is we don't know if it is. And nor does anyone else, because Incredible Hulk actor Edward Norton and Marvel can't agree on how The Incredible Hulk should be edited, and if the disagreement carries on much longer, it could mean that two Hulk films in a row will get flushed down the crapper. According to Deadline Hollywood Daily:

Norton and Marvel are clashing over how to cut the pic. Insiders say Norton was "promised tremendous involvement and access" after Marvel invited him into the core team to rewrite Zak Penn's script. Says one insider, "There's a lot of posturing going on between Edward's camp and Marvel over how you edit the final version." Sources also tell me that, starting last night and continuing at least throughout today, the actor will be holed up with Marvel Studios chairman David Maisel, Marvel Studios president of production Kevin Feige, and director Louis Leterrier to try to "reach an amicable resolution" to this $150+ million film feud.

Although we don't know anything about this fight apart from the fact that it allegedly exists, we're just going to go ahead and blame it on Edward Norton. He seems like an intelligent chap, and that's exactly the problem. This is an Incredible Hulk movie! Nobody's looking for intelligence! They're looking for scenes of the Hulk eating an elephant alive and then farting out the shattered bones into a crowd of people like a dirty machine gun!

Chances are if Edward Norton got his way The Incredible Hulk would be about a repressed man's search for internal peace that's echoed through his external rites of passage journey through colonial Papua New Guinea. Or, at the very least, a film that – urgh – makes sense and isn't just a collection of lowest denominator explosions.

We feel sick. Shame on you, Edward Norton. Shame!

Read more: 

Ed Norton And Marvel In 'Hulk'-ing Feud – Deadline Hollywood Daily

Psst.

Psst. You. Hey! Do you like nineties sci-fi TV shows about a couple of FBI agents who should have been boning each other senseless but never got round to it because they were too busy chasing/not believing in (delete as applicable) UFOs and aliens? If so, then, boy, have we got a treat for you.

Some wag, it seems, has secretly filmed a sneak preview of the upcoming X-Files movie sequel, due for release this July. And whaddaya know – despite being a horribly low-quality clip – it's actually enough to wipe hecklerspray's memory of the awful last few seasons of the show. Why, there's nary a T-1000 in sight!

What you will find, however, is Gillian Anderson digging something mysterious up in the snow, David Duchovny running around looking anxious, and a white-haired Billy Connolly pretending to be some sort of mysterious bad guy. Intriguing, you say? It is, rather, isn't it?

Warning: Sweeney Todd is a musical. That’s not breaking news we know, but there are some people out there that are picking themselves up off the floor following that revelation.  

The Guardian reports that there were inadequate warnings that singing took place in Tim Burton’s latest edition. “It resembles a vintage Tim Burton movie, but nowhere does the trailer mention the fact that Sweeney Todd is a musical. In fact, it goes out of its way to conceal the fact that the movie is entirely sung, save for a few snippets of dialogue.”

Despite the 30 year history of the musical Sweeney Todd (first opened on Broadway in 1979) numerous re-makes, magazine and newspaper articles, not to mention the full-length trailer where Johnny Depp breaks into song, people have been walking out of cinemas in their droves. The film now faces potential investigation by the Advertising Standards Authority following numerous complaints.

So maybe the original promo trailer failed to mention that it was a musical, so what? Clearly the advertising agency responsible is cleverer than your average Joe and Joanne. They knew that there would be sceptics out there who didn’t want to re-live the likes of Dr Doolittle, so they initially kept it quiet. Unfortunately there now appears to be hoards of people seeking revenge and something tells us they aren’t singing “I must have vengeance!”

The fact that people walked out of this film because they were unaware is disturbing for 27 reasons, three of which shall be listed here. One, this isn’t High School Musical, this is Tim Burton. Two, it’s a two-hour film, not a surprise week at Butlins. Three, this is Johnny Depp singing, it’s essentially Edward Scissorhands breaking into song. Do people have no taste?

There are bigger things in Sweeney Todd to be concerned about than the fact it’s a musical.

For example, maybe the Advertising Standards Authority should investigate how it makes you want to eat one of the meat pies, let’s face it – cannibalism never looked so good. Or maybe the fact that Burton is giving Tarantino a run for his money on the blood stakes by showing innocent punters having their Adam’s Apples sliced open.   

Sweeney Todd shouldn’t be shaved down to just a musical because it is also a great film with a strong script and a stellar cast. You certainly don’t have to be a “oh, well-oh, well-oh, well-oh, uh!” kind of person to enjoy it. Clearly it is the supposed deception that is upsetting the masses. To be fair the public have been deceived a lot of over years, first Weapons of Mass Destruction and now Sweeney Todd.   

For those of you that left the cinema disgruntled, at least now you know that the film is in fact a musical. So ‘drove’ back to the cinema, get a hot toddy and settle down, the music is about to start.

Read more:

What the Sweeney Todd Trailer failed to tell us about the film - Guardian 

[story by Gemma Addy]