A lesson in law: when committing a crime, try not to do it while being filmed in front of thousands of witnesses.

Otherwise you’ll end up looking a tool, just like Akon. Akon has realised that, with evidence like several YouTube videos seen by millions of people working against him, he should probably plead guilty to angrily hurling a teenage boy off a stage during a concert.

It just shows that YouTube is king prosecutor. And now Akon has pleaded guilty of harassment, YouTube can claim its next scalp. Kittens, you are all guilty… of being adorable!

Although you may think it’s the way his voice sounds like a sizzurp-addicted Crazy Frog, Akon’s real worst enemy in recent years has been YouTube. It doesn’t matter how innocent his mistakes are, like violently dry-humping the underage daughter of a Trinidadian pastor across a stage during one of his concerts or whatever, they always end up being captured on video and uploaded to YouTube.

It’s got to the point where Akon can’t even do anything that many would consider to be perfectly normal, like dragging a teenage boy onstage during one of his concerts, lifting him above his head in an obnoxious show of authority and hurling him into the audience where he’ll end up concussing a girl, without it ending up all over the internet.

Because when that happens, it just makes it so bloody hard to pretend that you didn’t do it. Not that Akon didn’t have a jolly good bash, you understand – after he was arrested for throwing Anthony C. Smith into the crowd, Akon did his best to plead not guilty despite pretty much incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

But not even Akon is stronger than the power of the internet, which is why he’s just decided to change his mind and plead guilty to what we assume is a charge of being a massive dickhead. The Poughkeepsie Journal reports:

In a matter of minutes this morning in Fishkill Town Justice Court, the controversial singer Akon pleaded guilty to second-degree harassment, a violation… [Afterwards] Smith walked up to Akon, shook the singer’s hand and said, “Thanks a lot.” Akon apologized several times to Smith, but was interrupted by the victim’s father, who said, “You threw my son off the stage.”

As punishment, Akon will escape jail but must pay a $250 and complete 65 hours of anti-gang and anti-violence community service. So at least something positive will come of this – Akon’s guilty plea might help rid the world of those awful gangs who roam around picking on innocent children and hurling them into crowds of people from a stage while being filmed on YouTube. And not a moment too soon, if you ask us.

More than anything, though, this has taught Akon an important lesson – if he wants to throw children into a crowd, he must only do it in the comfort of his own home away from the prying eyes of the internet. And just to make sure that nobody in these crowds is secretly filming him, he should replace them all with rows of six-foot metal spikes.

Yes, we are suggesting that Akon should start throwing children onto spikes. What of it?

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

Talk about political correctness gone mad – what sort of a world do we live in where you can't even pick up a 15-year-old boy during a concert and angrily fling him on top of a girl's head, like Akon did not so long ago?

Poor old squeaky-voiced R&B star Akon is in trouble over the now-classic YouTube incident involving an angry Akon, a terrified 15-year-old boy, a girl with a bump on her head and all three of Newton's laws of motion. Basically Akon picked up a boy during a concert in June, threw him into the crowd, hit a girl on the head with him and is now being charged with endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment for it. As a result, Akon may be forced to cut back on the stage theatrics and let his songs speak for themselves in the future – something that could destroy his career forever.

Thanks to the genetic quirk that synchronises your burgeoning awareness of members of the opposite sex with the period of your life where you're at your most gangly, awkward and acne-strewn, being a teenager is a bit of a crappy deal. But there's one thing worse than being a teenager, and that's being a teenager at an Akon concert.

You see, any teenage girls who go to an Akon concert run the risk of being manically dry-humped across the stage by Akon, while any teenage boys can expect to be angrily hurled into the crowd at any given moment of time if Akon gets in a bit of a bad mood.

That's what happened back in June at least, when – during a show in Fishkill – Akon pulled a boy out of the crowd, lifted him up onto his his shoulders and threw him offstage to a chorus of horrified screams from the audience. If that wasn't enough, the boy he threw – a 15-year-old from Harriman, Orange County – landed on top of a girl named Abby Rosa, giving her a nasty case of concussion.

At the time Akon's lawyer seemed adamant that Akon had done nothing illegal, although he can't have been a particularly blinding lawyer because Akon has just been charged with endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment for the incident; two things that we're pretty sure are actually illegal.

Now that he's been formally charged, Akon's arraignment has been scheduled for Monday – at which point we'll have a clearer understanding of exactly how much trouble he's actually in. But whatever the punishment he's given, these charges mean that Akon will have to drop some of his more spectacular plans for his next tour. And that's bad news for anyone looking forward to seeing the moment when Akon marks the climax of Smack That by firing a toddler out of a rocket launcher into the blades of a hovering helicopter. Shame.

Read more:

Akon Charged In Fan-Tossing Case – Associated Press