According to reports, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston met up in secret during the Toronto Film Festival, where Brad Pitt is promoting Burn After Reading and Jennifer Aniston is promoting her recent break-up with John Mayer or a new haircut or something. Seriously, we haven’t bothered to check.

Anyway, this Brad Pitt/ Jennifer Aniston dinner might not have happened – in fact, it’s more likely that Brad and Jennifer went to great lengths to studiously avoid each other – but let’s report the dinner as fact anyway. That way we might anger Angelina Jolie enough to stop thumping out a baby with a stupid name every couple of minutes. We’re doing you a favour, really.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have moved on with their lives so much in recent years that sometimes it’s hard to remember that they were even married at all. Brad Pitt, of course, has since found love with Angelina Jolie and become one half of The Child-Catchers It’s OK To Tolerate, while Jennifer Aniston has managed to find love with a fat bloke, the Kwik-Save Brad Pitt and a 12-year-old boy for about three seconds each respectively.

But even though they were married, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston still haven’t seen each other since their divorce. There may be genuine reasons for that – like the way that Jennifer Aniston might resent Brad’s new family with Angelina Jolie, or the way that Brad Pitt might be freaked out by Jennifer Aniston spending about a year wailing about how miserable she was after the divorce.

Either way, what this means is that you’ll never see Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston in the same place together. Unless they’re in Toronto.

Oh, you know how it is. You’re lonely, on the road promoting a movie that’s bound to be something of a letdown and suddenly you catch a glimpse of the person you used to be married to at a film festival. You let the alluring spirit of Toronto – the Paris of South-Central Ontario, filled with grand monuments to romance like the Toronto-Dominion Bank Tower and Yonge Street – get to you, and the next thing you know you’re reliving old times over a dinner so crackling in undiluted sexual tension that even the waiters are scared to interrupt. The Daily Mail reports:

Rumours are circulating today that the former Friends star had a business dinner with her ex-husband, Brad Pitt, last night at the festival. If true, it would be the pair’s first known meeting since their bitter divorce in 2005.

A business dinner? That sounds unbelievably sexy. Oh Yonge Street you minx, why do you trigger so much uncontrolled desire in people that they end up making hot and heavy awkward conversation together during business dinners with each other?

Of course, what’s probably more likely is that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s staff spent the entire film festival breaking their backs to make sure that neither Brad nor Jennifer got within 500 yards of each other in case Aniston ended up trying to smash her shoe heel into Pitt’s skull, but let’s not pay any attention to that – Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston totally had dinner together this weekend!

Fingers crossed now that Angelina Jolie tries to get her own back on Brad Pitt by going to the KFC with Johnny Lee Miller. That’ll learn everyone.

These are some of the sounds that all boxers experience when they are in the ring and go through the procedure of splattering someone’s brain across the ring. Or, if you’re Mike Tyson, an opponent’s ear. On Saturday Amir Khan went down in an impressive 54 seconds thanks to Breidis Prescott and lost his unbeaten record. While he had a sore head, the people who paid £14.99 for the match will have probably been a bit annoyed. They could have literally been on the crapper and missed it.

Now, Noel Gallagher from Oasis isn’t someone we’d think indulge in boxing. Maybe in the past, but not now he’s turned into a grandad of rock n roll. Famously blaming video games for messing up the minds of the nation’s youth, we think he’d be more inclined for a steaming mug of tea and a pair of furry slippers. Even a couple of rich tea biscuits may push him over the edge.

Something that literally did push him over was a crazed fan when Oasis played a recent gig in Toronto. Why the fan showed his love by knocking him over rather than tattooing Noel Gallagher’s initials into his own testicles is beyond us. Anyway, for some comedy falling over by the Oasis bloke, watch the clip below. He gets shoved over around the 1:30 mark.