Remember Tori Spelling? Her dad was a powerful TV man way back when (Love Boat and more) and magically, she ended up with a job on the original Beverley Hills 90210 and… uh… that’s about it.
Now we’ve proved she’s famous enough to talk about (ahem), would you like to see her breasts?
Ah. Ears pricked up now, huh? Well, over the jump, you’ll get to see (we’d better say ‘allegedly’ here) busters and, well, it’s not exactly in the manner which we’re all accustomed to. Get over the jump and see for yourself. Oh. And ‘salami’. Keep that in mind.
Read More >>>
You don’t really care who Tori Spelling is but, alas, it is the slowest news day of 2011 thus far. This means that not only are we struggling to find celebrities to write about, but the poor paparazzi are chasing absolutely anyone now.
And because all the proper celebrities have obviously taken the day off, every single photographer on Earth decided to harass Tori Spelling because she just happened to be passing and they half recognised her from when she used to be in Beverley Hills 90210.
Sadly for Spelling, she’s not equipped to deal with the press these days and ended up crashing her and her pregnant stomach through a concrete wall which shielded screaming children. Oooops.
Read More >>>
With everyone in the celebsphere growing babies inside them (including the men – stars are like seahorses in that respect), it only seems right that faded starlets should join in, in the hope that scum like us should write about them so the world can collectively shrug.
And brace yourself for one of the tiniest shrugs you’ll ever do.
Tori Spelling is having a baby! Who? You may remember her as being the airhead one from the original Beverly Hills 90210. Yeah. That one. Her dad is Aaron Spelling, the man responsible for The Love Boat, TJ Hooker and Hart to Hart.
Read More >>>
Christmas is traditionally a time of goodwill to all men – except for Tori Spelling, obviously, because come on.
She’s Tori Spelling. Goodwill only stretches so far, you know. But, anyway, this Christmas is different. Tori Spelling has finally found a fan. It’s her mother Candy Spelling. According to reports, Candy Spelling has done the unthinkable and invited Tori to her Christmas party.
Now, look. We know that a mother inviting her own daughter to a Christmas party might not seem especially newsworthy to you, but remember – this is Tori Spelling we’re talking about here. Would you invite Tori Spelling to your Christmas party? Of course not. If anything, Candy Spelling deserves a medal for selfless philanthropy.
Read More >>>
There are two major disappointments about the Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off – the first one is that it’s a sack of balls.
The second is that there’s no Tori Spelling. We’d assumed that Tori Spelling was a shoo-in to appear on 90210, what with it being the show she’s most associated with and her being such a rubbish actor that she’d be grateful of the work and all. But it wasn’t to be.
Not until now, anyway – Tori Spelling is returning to 90210, which will be great news for the three people who watch 90210, are old enough to remember Tori Spelling and aren’t recovering lobotomy patients.
Read More >>>
It must be an epic ride being Tori Spelling – living the trials, tribulations and… trials again of a Hollywood superstar.
Well, it would be if she actually did anything worthwhile ever, instead of just getting knocked up and kind of lingering around, like that person at a party you kind of know but don’t want to talk to but at the same time don’t want to ask to leave as that would be far too rude. Even though they’re standing there, people are staring and it’s killing the funtime vibe – you’re ruining the party, Tori Spelling. Get out.
Ahem.
It would seem that this is the exact attitude favoured by the execs behind the remake of Beverly Hills 90210 – imaginatively titled 90210 – who appear to have asked Tori to leave the TV party. Maybe it didn’t quite happen like that, but we’re trying to fit this in with quite a poorly-thought out and stretched analogy. Hush down.
Read More >>>
It’s not uncommon to see a celebrity that has suffered a downturn in their career take ‘inspiration’ from another, more popular personality to get their life back on track.
But this has to be the worst case of copycat behaviour we’ve ever seen.
Tori Spelling, of Beverly Hills 90210 and… errm… some shit reality TV show fame, has gone and got herself one of those baby things in what experts are calling ‘clearly a rip off of Jessica Alba‘. The brazen attempt to hoard some publicity is sure to backfire as members of the public lash out at Tori and her derivative behaviour.
Read More >>>
