What’s nice about America’s Next Top Model is that it takes a young girl who really isn’t good at anything at all, and somehow turns that into a positive.
Throughout a typical season several competing girls learn to take their overall dearth of life-skills and fling them at the camera like a monkey flings fecal matter that’s been picked clean of all its nutritional value. It’s an ode to humanity if you think about it; girls come from nothing, Tyra intervenes, girls receive the potential to make loads of money all over the place by blankly staring into the business end of George Eastman‘s big glass eye.
But what happens if a would-be contestant just has too many penises? Would his bulgy bikini shots be a life-long demerit. Not if Tyra has anything to say about it. Which she does, especially in this case – she’s paying to have one of the show’s contestants get their man-hammer cut off with knives.
Seriously. Sounds like a ratings winner.

