It seems almost like cruelty to interview someone just after a match. We’ve all said stupid things and made ridiculous predictions after matches.

We just can’t help it. Your emotions are running high and need to let off steam.

It doesn’t really matter. The only bit of ribbing you are going to get is from your mates down the pub, who will keep reminding you of your daft prediction for the rest of your life. But for players and coaches who make prize tits of themselves after a match, they not only have to deal with the reaction from their own club, but the whole nation.
Their comments will be played over and over again on Sky Sports or ESPN. Every word will be dissected by the broadsheet press, while the tabloids will probably just resort to turning their head into a root vegetable or something.

Then, of course, just when you thought everyone has forgotten about it, you get included in one of those annoying list shows, with some Celebrity Z-lister you’ve never heard of reading off some script about how funny he found it.

Then there’s the websites. Ahem.

But you can’t blame the media really. Although we hate to admit it, there is really nothing quite as entertaining as someone losing it in front of your eyes. In fact, sometimes post-match interviews can be sweeter than a left-foot volley or a hole-in-one.

You get the point. Enjoy.

19. Christian Dailly

Match: Scotland v Germany, 2004

Scotland’s Christian Dailly is not even being interviewed after Scotland’s defeat to Germany, but still manages to be the star of the show. Germans, cheats? Now that’s just out of order. Not very Christian at all.

18. Mike Atherton is a ‘buffoon’

Match: South Africa v England, World Cup 1996

Obviously still brittle after a dismal defeat to South Africa in the Cricket World Cup, England captain takes particular exception to a question posed by a Pakistani hack. “Will someone get rid of this buffoon?” was his response to the question. The journalist, Asghar Ali, eventually launched a defamation action against Atherton.

17. Chaney will kick your ass

Match: University of Massachusetts basketball team v Temple, 1994

After John Calipari’s University of Massachusetts beat basketball rivals Temple, their celebrations were gate-crashed by a furious Temple coach John Chaney, who accused his counterpart of all kinds of things before resorting to threats. Very funny.

16. Ian Holloway takes home an ugly bird in a taxi or something

Match: QPR v Chesterfield, 2004

The QPR boss’s analogy to his side’s ugly win over Chesterfield almost makes sense. I think.

15. Greg Norman likes Greg Norman – a lot

Match: The Open, 1993

A modest Greg Norman reflects on a round of golf which secures him The Open title at Royal St George’s, Sandwich. “I am just in awe of myself the way I hit that ball,” he said. “It was perfect.” Subsequent evidence suggests Norman is far from a perfect golfer.

14. David Coulthard gets tough

Match: Australian Grand Prix, 2008

Annoyed at being shunted off the track by Felipe Massa, David Coulthard demands an apology or else he would start to punch his daylights out. Actually what he said was far worse, so feel free to listen. It’s hilarious. Taking on the Scot in a fight would be just madness, of course. Not even a jack hammer could break that jaw.

13. Mike Gatting 1986

Match: England v West Indies

The stupidest question ever asked at a press conference – and that’s saying something. After having his nose smashed to pieces by a Malcolm Marshall bouncer, Mike Gatting is asked where he got hit. Gatting even starts to point at his black and blue nose, before laughing.

12. Dennis Green loses match – and his mind

Match: Arizona Cardinals v Chicago Bears, 2006

What ever you do, don’t ask Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green about the Bears.

11. Joe Namath tries to hit on reporter

Match: New York Jets v the New England Patriots, 2003

Just brilliant.

10. Bob Knight uses his crystal, errr, glass

NCAA Tournament 1993

The best way to respond to a dumb question at press conference.

9. Walter Smith has Chick for breakfast

Match: Some Euro game Rangers have lost

Rangers boss Walter Smith does not understand Chick Young’s line of questioning.

8. Kevin Borseth explodes

Match: Michigan women’s basketball team v Wisconsin women’s basketball team

After seeing his team lose to Wisconsin, the coach of Michigan’s women’s basketball team lets his feelings known.

7. Jim Boeheim attacks student newspaper

Syracuse men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim responds to accusations that star guard Gerry McNamara is overrated. Cue breakdown.

6. Murray Walker puts his finger on the problem

Adelaide Grand Prix, 1991

Speaks for itself.

5. Jim Mora goes nuts

Indianapolis Colts v San Francisco 49ers, 2001

Just don’t mention the play-offs to Jim Mora.

4. Mike Tyson loves kids –on his dinner plate

Match: Tyson v Lou Savarese, 2000

After knocking out the hapless Savarese, a maniacal Tyson turned his attentions to Lennox Lewis. “He’s no Alexander,” raged Mike. “I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah.”

3. McLean punches BBC’s journalist John Barnes

Match: Dundee United v Hearts, 2000

Following a 4-0 defeat to Hearts, Dundee United legend and chairman Jim McLean does not take too kindly to the question. He left BBC journalist John Barnes was left with a cut lip, and McLean was forced to resign.

2. Keegan would ‘love it’

Match: Leeds United v Newcastle, 1996

After throwing away a 12-point lead in the race for the Premiership title, Newcastle had to beat Leeds to keep the title race going into the final stages of the season. They did just that – despite championship rival Alex Ferguson’s attempt to gee up the Yorkshire club by suggesting teams fought harder against Manchester United than against Newcastle. While his mind games may not have had the desired affected on Leeds, it certainly had an effect on the Newcastle ‘Messiah’, who let the Red Devils coach know what he thought of his tactics. Pure TV gold.

1. Lee Elia makes friends with the Chicago Cubs fans

Chicago Cubs v LA Dodgers, 1983

After a loss to the LA Dodgers, coach Lee Elia sets new records with his response to the Cubs fans booing their own players. Just to give you a taste: “A f***in’ playground for the c***ksuckers.”

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

For starters, there are six films. Although, to be honest, the three prequels rarely entered our minds when coming up with the list. Then there is the fact that we had to somehow whittle it down to just 10, which is almost impossible.

It could seriously have been a top 100, but there are limits, right? And we really wanted to come up with the perfect 10.

Please feel free to tell us your favourites.

Anyway, here goes:

10. Jabba killed
Return of the Jedi

Now, this could easily have been simply Princess Leia in a gold bikini. But combine it with Princess Leia dressed in a gold bikini choking the life out of a big, fat monster with her slave chain and you get, er, what sounds like a scene from an S&M dungeon.

9. ‘Let’s blow this thing and go home’
A New Hope

We used to know a lad at school who once told us he hated the Star Wars arcade game because he always died in the Death Star trench bit. He said: “I just don’t understand it. It tells me to use the force, so I let go of the controls, but I always crash.” Suffice to say, we had no idea why he did that. Thankfully, Luke Skywalker was not so boneheaded and with a little help from Han Solo finally gets to destroy the Death Star. Just brilliant!

8. Yoda fighting
Attack of the Clones

Yoda finally dropping the hyperbole and picking up his lightsabre was certainly a brave decision by George Lucas. Goodwill towards Lucas was in short supply at that point and he could have got it so wrong. Thankfully, he didn’t. And it is without doubt one of the best scenes in the series and deserves its place.

7. AT-AT attack
The Empire Strikes Back

The Imperial ground assault on the Rebel base on Hoth is certainly one of the most exciting action sequences in the whole series. It happens surprisingly quite early in Empire Strikes Back, and the effects (just about) hold up to today’s standards.

6. Greedo gets it
A New Hope

Greedo’s demise at the hands of Han Solo is certainly one of the most memorable scenes in the series. It’s the climax to an incredible bar scene in Mos Eisley, where we are treated to the strangest creatures ever seen on screen since the Olsen twins.

5. Enter Darth Vader
A New Hope

Has there ever been a better entrance? We really don’t think anyone had ever seen anything like it before.
A really tall, asthmatic guy dressed as a Nazi? Whatever next! Prince Harry maybe?

4. Shot of Luke and the suns
A New Hope
A really poignant moment as Luke Skywalker gazes longingly into the night sky. We’re welling up now just thinking of it. Thinking of it, however, is all we can do at the moment, as we can’t find a damn clip for it. Can you help?

3. ‘I Know’
The Empire Strikes Back

Han Solo responds to Princess Leia’s “I love you” in the only way he knows how. “I know” is the perfect response. It could have been a lot worse. He could have said: “No, I love you more… No, you put the phone down…” Urrgh!

2. Star Destroyer
A New Hope

There are few moments that have captured kids’ imaginations as much as the opening sequence. OK, so maybe we didn’t read the writing at the beginning (too much like school), but suddenly this ship flies into view being attacked by another ship, that just keeps getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. Special effects were never the same again.

1. I am your Father

It’s one of the biggest shocks in movie history and the defining moment of the series.

But show them a story of how a crappy team somehow rises from the ashes to become the best in the league and it won’t be long before they’re crying like newborn babies. Maybe it’s something in the male genes. Crying and sport seem to go hand in hand.

Films about sport can have the same reaction. OK, so they don’t replace the thrill of scoring a late goal, hitting a match-winning home run or scoring the touchdown that wins your team the Super Bowl, but they come close – the good ones that is.

Sure, some sports films can make you cry without being any good at all. The Fan made us want to weep for Robert De Niro’s career, for example. However, sometimes directors get it right; sometimes they capture why sport is such a global obsession.

Here are Hecklerspray’s perfect 10…

10. Jerry Maguire (1996)

This film is so good it made us like Tom Cruise and sports agents – for about an hour and a half at least.

9. Rocky (1976)

OK, everyone loves an underdog – and they don’t get much better than Sly Stallone’s Italian Stallion. The boxing sequences, of course, are ridiculous, but they’re propped up by some of surprisingly fine acting and good story telling.

8. The Hustler (1961)

It is a disgrace that Paul Newman didn’t get an Oscar for his gritty portrayal of pool ace Fast Eddie.

7. Bull Durham (1988)

The fact that this baseball movie spawned the unholy union that is Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins almost disqualified it from being on the list. But the superb script and Sarandon’s faultless performance meant we really couldn’t leave it out.

6. Escape to Victory or Victory (1981)

We’re well aware that Sly Stallone accidentally appears on this list twice, but there is no way we could miss out this classic about a group of POW footballers trying to escape from a German concentration camp. It’s Michael Caine in the Great Escape, with football in it. Perfect!

5. This Sporting Life (1963)

We liked this kitchen sink drama about a brutal rugby league player in Northern England so much we almost started to watch rugby. All right, maybe not.

4. Hoop Dreams (1994)

A biting documentary about two promising, inner-city basketball stars both hoping to become the next Michael Jordan. You’ll like this, even if you don’t give a shit about basketball, which is the true test of a great sports film.

3. Caddyshack (1980)

The fact it has Bill Murray in it means it just beats The Waterboy to the title of the funniest sports movie ever made.

2. When We Were Kings (1996)

With Muhammed Ali at his most entertaining, how could you possibly not get swept up by this majestic documentary about the legendary Rumble in the Jungle.

1. Raging Bull (1980)

Martin Scorsese’s dramatic biopic of the downfall of the unlovable, stubborn middle-weight boxing champion Jake La Motta is an unforgettable classic. It’s Robert De Niro’s finest film.

Whether it’s some bloke being torn apart by wild animals or some luckless cheerleader being mutilated by a crazed, axe-wielding maniac, we just can’t seem to get enough of it. Sickos, the lot of us!

In fact, just think of the films that could have been saved by the odd gruesome beheading or two. A few fleshing-eating zombies would certainly have spiced up Pride And Prejudice and Moulin Rouge. And is it so wrong to want to see Judi Dench being hacked to pieces? Anyway, so here at hecklerspray we have decided to come up with the 10 most gruesome movies deaths ever.

Oh, and we're sure that there will be people who will say it’s a rubbish list and that we forgot the one about the bloke who gets his brain scooped out by a teaspoon while his balls are being eaten by a small puppy. (By the way, if that movie exists please let us know. It sounds great!)

 
10. The Hitcher (1986)
‘Driving a girl away’

We decided to put this in, despite the fact that you don’t actually see anything. Odd, we know.

However, the thought of being pulled apart by two trucks is certainly something we would rather not think about too much.

Unlike the shit remake with Sean Bean, the Rutger Hauer original is not a bad film, but Leigh’s demise certainly sticks in the head.

9. American History X (1998)
‘The Kerb Stomp’

This infamous scene certainly wins the award for the most realistic sound effects.

Basically, neo-Nazi skinhead Derek (Edward Norton) teaches wounded black car thief Lawrence ‘a real lesson’ by forcing him to bite down on the kerb.

He then breaks his neck with one vicious stomp to the head. Crunch!

8. The Last House on the Left (1972)
‘No stomach for the kill’

Teaching teenagers for so long clearly had an effect on Wes Craven. After finally giving up college lecturing to become a director, the usually mild-mannered man spent most of his career making movies about all the different ways they can be brutally murdered.

Obviously, the A Nightmare on Elm Street series is what Craven will always be remembered for, but it was his first film, The Last House On The Left, that really hit the mark for all-round gruesomeness.

Still cut from just about all of the versions of his 1972 debut, the scene involves a girl being brutally butchered by two killers. They then decide to bathe in her bloody insides. Nice.

7. Wilderness (2006)
‘The Doggy Snack’ (trailer)

Does Sean Pertwee insist on showing us his insides in every film he’s in? Is it in his contract?

Not happy with showing us his ‘sausages’ in Dog Soldiers, Pertwee decides that he wants to go one better by being eaten alive by dogs. Forget Jaws, this is Jowls.

The rest of the film is garbage, but there is something about being gobbled up by ‘man’s best friend’ that makes for some uncomfortable viewing.

6. Casino (1995)
‘Not very Vice’

Even director Martin Scorsese himself was surprised this totally gratuitous scene got through the censors.

It involves some poor idiot and a vice. Go figure.

The only question you need to ask is whether you think his head goes ‘pop’ or ‘crack’. Watch it and judge for yourself.

5.  Scanners (1981)
‘The Headache’

OK, we're sure there are far worse murders than this, but it just would not feel right to leave this Cronenberg masterpiece out.

Still, most of you will be familiar with what happens in this infamous scene.

But for those of you who are not (where have you been?), it basically involves naughty Scanner and all-round headcase (get it?), Darryl Revok (Michael Ironside), demonstrating his head-exploding telepathic powers at an ESP conference to deadly effect.

4. The Thing (1982)
‘Chest horrible’ (manky compilation)

This scene gets in purely because of its creativity. And, well, the fact that is simply shocking and disturbing.

Apparently, Rob Bottin, the FX wonderkid behind the special effects, had to go into hospital during the making of this film because he was so exhausted.

Maybe he should have gone into a mental hospital after thinking up this death scene involving Dr Copper (Richard Dysart) offering infected colleague Norris (Charles Hallahan) some much-needed CPR.

See, that’s a nice thing to do. But what happens next is anything but. While pumping his chest, Norris’ rib cage opens up and bites the good doctor’s hands off. Talk about chest pains!

3. Robocop (1987)
‘The Melting Man’

Now we've got strong stomachs, but even this made us feel a bit queasy.

Emil (Paul McCrane) gets soaked in toxic waste and instantly starts to melt.

After freaking out his fellow bad guys with his pleas to "help me," he is finally put out of his misery when the ringleader accidentally runs him over in his car. Cue a shower of pinky green liquid and people being sick into their popcorn. Uuurgh.

2. I Spit on Your Grave (1978)
‘The harshest cut of all’

A death scene guaranteed to make any man grown wince and howl.

A gang rape victim lures one of her tormentors into a warm bath before cutting off his dick with a carving knife.

Nothing else you can really say about that.

1. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
‘Death by Dildo’

The whole film could make up this top 10, to be quite honest. The film is so sick, we can barely think about it without wanting to vomit.

But there is one brutal murder which does tend to stick out. No, it’s not a strap-on dildo, but actually one with spikes on it.

Yes, you heard correctly. An Amazonian tribeswoman is found guilty of adultery and is duly punished in the harshest of ways.

OK, pass the sick bucket.