That moral code is that it’s ok to enslave good natured American Indians if it’s for the cause of justice, and if the act of doing so helps end low-budget criminal activity in any of its usual forms. This is a lesson that was taught over and over again – first on the radio, then on television.

As Indian sidekick rental prices began to skyrocket, however, it’s a lesson that was soon forgotten. Not for long though – because if recent rumors are to be believed – George Clooney is about to revive the Lone Ranger on the big screen. Some of the brains behind the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise are apparently behind it.

If you mix The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise with the basic theme of the Lone Ranger, most people agree you’d get a film about a giant clam riding a horse everywhere pilgrims are in peril or there’s gold to be hoarded. It really sounds pretty good, actually. We’d at least pay for a matinee ticket.

The clam, of course, would be played by George Clooney – and probably well too. For the purpose of character development, Clooney the Clam would probably have to see his parents torn open by a hungry octopus at a young age. He’d then move to land, and eventually avenge evil on a pretty large scale. Millions of scripts could pour from a set-up like that – but today we’re only concerned with one.

George Clooney is very interested in portraying the Lone Ranger on the silver screen. And why shouldn’t he be? After all, Johnny Depp is already signed on as Tonto. No really, we’re not kidding. The Sun said so:

HOLLYWOOD heart-throb GEORGE CLOONEY is to play the Lone Ranger in a new movie. The Oscar-winner, 47, will appear as the masked crimefighter with fellow star JOHNNY DEPP as the legend’s trusty sidekick Tonto. An insider said last night: “George is very keen — he’s been trying to do a movie with Johnny for a long time. He thinks they’ll make the perfect on-screen partnership.” The film will be written by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, who also scripted the three hit Pirates Of The Caribbean films starring Depp, 45.

Now as we understand it, Depp’s not just gonna play Tonto as the gallant sidekick fearlessly riding into danger with his ol’ cowboy chum. No – they’re gonna stick to the more aquatic theme we mentioned earlier. Tonto with be the ghost of an Indian boy who drown under a pile of sunken maize.

If Depp plays this right it could give us valuable insight into the usually hidden aspects of American Indian culture.

We’re all pretty excited.