Have you got a thing for cowboys? Even the closeted ones from Brokeback Mountain? Do you also have a thing for the repulsively handsome Johnny Depp? Well, how about the prospect of Depp dressed up like a cowboy then? Does that tickle your pickle?
Well tough. That’s because Disney were all set to make a Depp featuring film of The Lone Ranger, ’til they decided that they really, really hate you.
That’s right! In their infinite wisdom, Walt Disney Studios have shut down production of The Lone Ranger which would have seen Johnny as Tonto and Armie Hammer (who sounds like a toothpaste) as the title character.
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In olden times our fathers, and our father’s fathers were all taught a strict moral code by the Lone Ranger.
That moral code is that it’s ok to enslave good natured American Indians if it’s for the cause of justice, and if the act of doing so helps end low-budget criminal activity in any of its usual forms. This is a lesson that was taught over and over again – first on the radio, then on television.
As Indian sidekick rental prices began to skyrocket, however, it’s a lesson that was soon forgotten. Not for long though – because if recent rumors are to be believed – George Clooney is about to revive the Lone Ranger on the big screen. Some of the brains behind the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise are apparently behind it.
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