Okay. What do we know about Tommy Lee? Firstly, he’s got a massive wang. So big is Tommy Lee’s penis is that it actually has an ankle in the middle of it. We also know that he was in Motley Crue who are one of rock’s more forgettable footnotes. We also know that he’s a toppling dimwit.
And so, add all these things together and add a killer whale into the equation and you’ve got the perfect celebrity story, right? Thick man talks about gigantic, ejaculating member with very little authority, loudly.
Fantastic. So what’s his beef? Well, Tommy doesn’t like the way SeaWorld wank Tilikum with killer whale off. No, seriously. Read More >>>
Tommy Lee thought he’d done it all. The drugs, the drink, the Pamela Anderson.
But now one of his employees has gone one better, as photos emerge of him groping up a lady’s big boobs. While flying a blimmin helicopter!
There are some things you do not want to hear over the pilot’s intercom while you’re flying. “Tell Cheryl I love her,” is up there. And now we can add: “Good morning, passengers. My name is Captain David Martz and I am your pilot today. We’re currently flying level at three to four hundred feet, and I’m sucking on a porn star’s tit”.
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Pamela Anderson seems to wish she could return to the past – to a time before hepatitis, miscarriage, divorce, Rick Salomon and definitely, definitely before Kid Rock. The whole world wants to return to that particular time.
But the particular time she seems to want to return to is the one where a drummer from a bit of a crap, over-hyped band who likes to get his junk out on stage gets to stick it to her on a regular basis.
Yes, kids, Pamela Anderson is back with Tommy Lee.
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Trouble is Kid Rock's middle name. Actually it isn't – it's probably Jeb or Enos or Clawfoot or something – but that doesn't matter because Trouble is also Kid Rock's best friend, wife, vicar and Meals On Wheels delivery operative.
Kid Rock is addicted to trouble, and it doesn't matter if it's the sort of trouble that involves physical violence or the sort of trouble that involves making dreadful redneck heavy metal that sounds like it should exclusively soundtrack cross-eyed, chipped-tooth monster truck rallies. But sometimes Kid Rock's penchant for trouble gets him into, um, trouble – like when Kid Rock decided to use the live, globally-televised MTV VMA awards this year to start a fight with Tommy Lee. However, despite everyone in the world seeing Kid Rock and Tommy Lee slapping each other like babies during the awards, police have announced that Kid Rock won't be charged for the brawl, mainly because they need all their MTV VMA manpower to try and pin a charge of Miming With Intent To Appal on Britney Spears.
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Trouble is Kid Rock's middle name. Actually it isn't - it's probably Jeb or Enos or Clawfoot or something - but that doesn't matter because Trouble is also Kid Rock's best friend, wife, vicar and Meals On Wheels delivery operative.
Kid Rock is addicted to trouble, and it doesn't matter if it's the sort of trouble that involves physical violence or the sort of trouble that involves making dreadful redneck heavy metal that sounds like it should exclusively soundtrack cross-eyed, chipped-tooth monster truck rallies. But sometimes Kid Rock's penchant for trouble gets him into, um, trouble - like when Kid Rock decided to use the live, globally-televised MTV VMA awards this year to start a fight with Tommy Lee. However, despite everyone in the world seeing Kid Rock and Tommy Lee slapping each other like babies during the awards, police have announced that Kid Rock won't be charged for the brawl, mainly because they need all their MTV VMA manpower to try and pin a charge of Miming With Intent To Appal on Britney Spears.
