Bang, bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang, bang, boom. Bang. That is the noise war makes, as reproduced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg in The Pacific.
The Pacific is a massive budget ($200m) 10 -part miniseries from HBO, shown by Sky Movies HD in the UK. What’s that? Why is Sky Movies showing a TV series? Good question. The big Sky Movies boss thinks this show is *so* cinematic, it is basically more of a film than actual films.
Each 45 minute episode contains approximately 17 minutes of footage, the rest is filled with opening and closing credits. Bear this fact in mind when deciding whether to Sky+ it or not.
Honestly Ron Howard, talk about phoning it in. Yes, we all know how successful The Da Vinci Code was, but put some effort in.
Because its sequel Angels & Demons might be the top movie at the weekend box office this week, but have you ever considered what made The Da Vinci Code so popular in the first place? That’s right – Tom Hanks’ tatty old mullet.
But look at his Angels & Demons haircut, for crying out loud. It’s almost normal. Honestly, there had better be a deleted DVD scene where Tom Hanks gives himself a bubble perm, or there’ll be riots. Read More >>>
Whenever Ron Howard adapts a Dan Brown book into a movie, three things are guaranteed to instantly happen.
Firstly, Tom Hanks will grow a terrible haircut. Secondly, reams of fat American tourists will start plodding around wherever it’s set loudly carping on about the Catholic church because they think that listening to a rubbishy airport book on audiotape once makes them the world’s sweatiest, most badly-dressed professors of theology.
And thirdly Ron Howard will wring his hands and unconvincingly claim that he doesn’t hate Catholics. Angels & Demons is released soon, so you’ll never guess what Ron Howard has done.
All links suggested by hecklerspray’s Twitter followers, because we couldn’t be arsed to find any for once…
10 – Finally we understand what sheep are for. Unbelievable -Geekologie
9 - The fact alone that Dave Benson Phillips has a website is cool enough. The fact that it squelches is the cherry on the cake – Davebensonphillips
8 - A gay arts festival needs some writers and performers. They must have asked us because disgruntled illiterate Michael Jackson fans are apparently writers and performers now – Gfest
Don’t you just hate it when, say, a blessed angel straight from heaven hands you a set of golden plates that describe a visit of Jesus to American Indians, and then expects you to make a religion out of it?
Yeah, life sure is funny. Well, sure enough, that is exactly what happened to Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, in 1827.
So naturally, you ask, what might Tom Hanks have to say about all this? Well, as it turns out, plenty, or now nothing, or, hell, here it is…
The problem with filming the devil’s movies is that if any of the scenes require the architecture of a church, the owners of said church, along with their serious-minded boards of directors, must pass off on it.
This is where Angels and Demons has recently run into trouble. There is a scene in the book where Tom Hanks & a hot German woman named Elsa (who’d only recently slept with his father) break through a church floor, follow some flowing gasoline through a gathered crowd of rats to an old dead knight with a clue on his shield.
Now they can’t film any of this on location – the Rome Diocese has banned it.
The location slack will reportedly be picked up by two Kingdom Halls and a Mormon stake center. This of course means not a single gargoyle will be shot on camera. It’s bad because they need a gargoyle that comes to life just in time to save Tom Hanks from the exploding jelly truck. It’s really a pinnacle scene.
The Razzies should include another category in their dishonourable awards ceremony – The Worst Screen Hairdo! It would target those performers who played characters with a seriously laudable case of cinematic mane.
Yes, like it or lump it, no one can avoid an occasional bad hair day once in a while, but when it's an actor's and it's plastered on screen, it's quite frankly irreversible, unless of course someone comes up with a little CGI jiggery-pokery to cover up the split ends.
But who would want to destroy the retrospective fun we can have here? So without further a do, let us present to you hecklerspray's Top 10 Worst Cinematic Hairdos…
Bang, bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang, bang, boom. Bang. That is the noise war makes, as reproduced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg in The Pacific.
Honestly Ron Howard, talk about phoning it in. Yes, we all know how successful The Da Vinci Code was, but put some effort in.
Whenever Ron Howard adapts a Dan Brown book into a movie, three things are guaranteed to instantly happen.
