Chances are this video will get pulled any second now, so watch it while you can, because it's nine minutes of Tom Cruise at his creepiest.

This is a Scientology film called Tom Cruise: Scientologist, where Tom Cruise directs his trademark brand of crazy-eyed, oversincere, babbling enthusiasm at Scientology itself for the benefit of other Scientologists around the world. And, by crap, we'll be buggered if it doesn't make any sense at all.

This isn't Tom Cruise the tiny entertainer or Tom Cruise the confusing couch-jumper – this is Tom Cruise: Scientologist, the man who has introduced Scientology to "over one billion people of Earth," and who won't hesitate to put his ethics in someone. And it sort of makes us want to go and hide in a corner for a bit.

On the likelihood that the video does get yanked soon, Heatworld has some transcribed some key passages from the interview, including our current favourite:

"It is the time now. Now is the time… Being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you better know it, you better know it and if you don’t, go and learn it, but don’t pretend you know it. It’s like we’re here to help."

Really. This is odd.