Articles tagged with: Together
Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer: Somewhat Tediously Back On
Mayerston? Johnnifer? Jehn Anistayer? Manny Man Maniston? We need to think up a cute compound name fast, because Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back on. That's right - Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, the celebrity couple that you know nobody cares the slightest sniff about, presumably not even Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, who get shoved into your face around the clock regardless - are back on, with Aniston apparently being the guest of honour at Mayer's 31st birthday party. What's more, John Mayer has apparently written a song about Jennifer Aniston to show his devotion, sealing their romance. The song, entitled Shut Up You Whiny Pinch-Faced Bitch, is due for release next month by the way.
Mayerston? Johnnifer? Jehn Anistayer? Manny Man Maniston? We need to think up a cute compound name fast, because Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back on. That's right - Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, the celebrity couple that you know nobody cares the slightest sniff about, presumably not even Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, who get shoved into your face around the clock regardless - are back on, with Aniston apparently being the guest of honour at Mayer's 31st birthday party. What's more, John Mayer has apparently written a song about Jennifer Aniston to show his devotion, sealing their romance. The song, entitled Shut Up You Whiny Pinch-Faced Bitch, is due for release next month by the way.
Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer Spotted ‘Tonguing’ ‘Each Other’
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer were perhaps the greatest couple ever, given that they're both carefree, fun-loving, girl-haired attention-seekers. And that's why, when Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer broke up earlier this year, the world slipped into a deep gloom. For instance, you know how the stock market collapsed and capitalism ended and food and fuel prices suddenly surged and the environment's on the brink of disaster and we're all going to die of bird flu? Yeah, that all happened because Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer split up. It's true. However, it's time to get out the bunting because now Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together! And if they're not back together, then they've almost certainly been caught with their tongues wedged right the way down each other's gullet in an airport in front of everyone. So, you know, get the bunting out once the waves of nausea have subsided. There's no rush.
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer were perhaps the greatest couple ever, given that they're both carefree, fun-loving, girl-haired attention-seekers. And that's why, when Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer broke up earlier this year, the world slipped into a deep gloom. For instance, you know how the stock market collapsed and capitalism ended and food and fuel prices suddenly surged and the environment's on the brink of disaster and we're all going to die of bird flu? Yeah, that all happened because Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer split up. It's true. However, it's time to get out the bunting because now Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together! And if they're not back together, then they've almost certainly been caught with their tongues wedged right the way down each other's gullet in an airport in front of everyone. So, you know, get the bunting out once the waves of nausea have subsided. There's no rush.
Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo Still Refusing To Die With Dignity
It's been eight or nine seconds since our last Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo update, so you're probably flapping about like a cold turkey junkie desperate for more. No? You're not? Your interest in Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's relationship is completely casual and you can stop reading about them any time you want? Stop kidding yourself, you've got a problem. Listen, if you're not addicted to Jessica Simpson news, then try not to read the next paragraph. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo were spotted out eating dinner last weekend, prompting speculation that their relationship is back on. Yeah, that's right. We knew you'd read it. And we haven't even got to the part about Jessica Simpson apparently cheating on Tony Romo with Jared Leto, either. Addict.
It's been eight or nine seconds since our last Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo update, so you're probably flapping about like a cold turkey junkie desperate for more. No? You're not? Your interest in Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's relationship is completely casual and you can stop reading about them any time you want? Stop kidding yourself, you've got a problem. Listen, if you're not addicted to Jessica Simpson news, then try not to read the next paragraph. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo were spotted out eating dinner last weekend, prompting speculation that their relationship is back on. Yeah, that's right. We knew you'd read it. And we haven't even got to the part about Jessica Simpson apparently cheating on Tony Romo with Jared Leto, either. Addict.
Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo Possibly Back On, Earth Quivers
Did you cry when you discovered that Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo had split up? We sure did, but that was only because we were busy trying to take out our brain by ramming knitting needles up our nostrils just so we wouldn't have to hear about titting Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo all the arseing time. It stung, OK? Anyway, if you did cry when Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split up then get ready to do a happy little jig - Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are back on! Or they might be back on based on one report of hand-holding! Or they aren't back together at all! Or they're forever doomed to a lifetime of unrelenting misery! Either way, let's all do a happy little jig anyway! Whee! We may have pierced the part of our brain that regulates inhibition! Wheeeeee!
Did you cry when you discovered that Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo had split up? We sure did, but that was only because we were busy trying to take out our brain by ramming knitting needles up our nostrils just so we wouldn't have to hear about titting Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo all the arseing time. It stung, OK? Anyway, if you did cry when Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split up then get ready to do a happy little jig - Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are back on! Or they might be back on based on one report of hand-holding! Or they aren't back together at all! Or they're forever doomed to a lifetime of unrelenting misery! Either way, let's all do a happy little jig anyway! Whee! We may have pierced the part of our brain that regulates inhibition! Wheeeeee!
Britney Spears & Mel Gibson Go Wild In Costa Rica Together
Travel advice now for Jewish, crotch-repulsed drivers headed to Costa Rica this weekend - don't go! Don't go! We're not messing around! If you go to Costa Rica this weekend, you're in for a really terrible time. We're not joking. Because joining you in Costa Rica will be notorious hell-raisers Britney Spears and Mel Gibson. And people - Britney Spears and Mel Gibson have gone to Costa Rica... together! But one crumb of comfort should be taken in the fact that Britney Spears and Mel Gibson haven't gone to Costa Rica for a romantic getaway. Because, seriously, if Britney's berserk, bipolar, approval-starved genes got mixed up with Mel's angry, alcoholic, racially-suspicious, hardline religious genes to create a new life, well, we'll have found that life-long malevolent global oppressor we've been dreading.
Travel advice now for Jewish, crotch-repulsed drivers headed to Costa Rica this weekend - don't go! Don't go! We're not messing around! If you go to Costa Rica this weekend, you're in for a really terrible time. We're not joking. Because joining you in Costa Rica will be notorious hell-raisers Britney Spears and Mel Gibson. And people - Britney Spears and Mel Gibson have gone to Costa Rica... together! But one crumb of comfort should be taken in the fact that Britney Spears and Mel Gibson haven't gone to Costa Rica for a romantic getaway. Because, seriously, if Britney's berserk, bipolar, approval-starved genes got mixed up with Mel's angry, alcoholic, racially-suspicious, hardline religious genes to create a new life, well, we'll have found that life-long malevolent global oppressor we've been dreading.
Greatest News Since Sliced Bread: De Niro & Pacino To Star In Same Film
It is the sort of news that would have lesser entertainment sites typing, over and over again, in an indecent boldness of font, the letters: OMG. That most blasphemous initialising of ‘Oh My God’, which the youths of today treat so brazenly, as if the name of our Lord were merely a soiled menstrual nappy to be tossed away willy-nilly, it’s sacrilegious smudge left to spread amongst the scum-ridden culture-wasteland of working class society. The word God must never be abbreviated. It is an act of devolution so disgusting that it shant be matched until the day The Kooks are considered anything other than the most grotesque of namby-pambies. But, if hecklerspray were as pathetic as those sites, then right now we would be licking our own ejaculate into a mural of OMGs, high on to the ceiling above us, because Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are going to be acting together in the same movie.
It is the sort of news that would have lesser entertainment sites typing, over and over again, in an indecent boldness of font, the letters: OMG. That most blasphemous initialising of ‘Oh My God’, which the youths of today treat so brazenly, as if the name of our Lord were merely a soiled menstrual nappy to be tossed away willy-nilly, it’s sacrilegious smudge left to spread amongst the scum-ridden culture-wasteland of working class society. The word God must never be abbreviated. It is an act of devolution so disgusting that it shant be matched until the day The Kooks are considered anything other than the most grotesque of namby-pambies. But, if hecklerspray were as pathetic as those sites, then right now we would be licking our own ejaculate into a mural of OMGs, high on to the ceiling above us, because Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are going to be acting together in the same movie.
Kate Hudson & Owen Wilson Get All Smoochy Smooch Again
There's nothing quite as sweet as young love, apart from maybe slightly older love featuring a bloke who quite recently tried to kill himself. So, genuinely, it's charming to see Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson back together again. According to reports, Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson were being all romantic together in Miami on Saturday for Kate's birthday. Let's hope that this time Owen and Kate's relationship doesn't end in the same tragic circumstances as it did before. By which we clearly mean Fool's Gold. Nobody should have to suffer through something as awful as that more than once. Ugh, it's bringing us out in hives just thinking about it.
There's nothing quite as sweet as young love, apart from maybe slightly older love featuring a bloke who quite recently tried to kill himself. So, genuinely, it's charming to see Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson back together again. According to reports, Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson were being all romantic together in Miami on Saturday for Kate's birthday. Let's hope that this time Owen and Kate's relationship doesn't end in the same tragic circumstances as it did before. By which we clearly mean Fool's Gold. Nobody should have to suffer through something as awful as that more than once. Ugh, it's bringing us out in hives just thinking about it.
Cheryl Cole Bafflingly Takes Ashley Cole Back
Cheryl Cole - Girls Aloud's most ferociously forthright member - has apparently cracked and got back together with her cheating husband Ashley Cole.
According to reports, Cheryl Cole took Ashley Cole back during their make or break crisis summit earlier in the week, and now they'll live happily ever after. Apart from her, because she'll have probably turned into a full-blown quivering paranoid wreck before the month is out.
But, hey, there's a moral to this - it's OK to nationally humiliate your wife by throwing up on a variety of other women during sex, because she'll inevitably take you back afterwards. But only so long as you're quite rich.
