Hurray! Another utterly pointless awards ceremony is rolling into our collective consciousness to make us take sides between things that can actually be enjoyed simultaneously!
Of course, the real winners in all of this are America’s coke-dealers and the Emmy Awards is timed perfectly so that the dope pushers will have a really bumper Christmas this year. Plastic surgeons are also stocking up on septum repair kits too. How amazingly heartwarming.
The Emmys, as you definitely know, celebrate the best in American television and will be held on Sunday, September 18th… shown on Fox who everyone hates at the moment. And the big guns making vague headlines are Modern Family (*shrug*) and the utter dross that is The Big Bang Theory. In drama, the wonderful trio of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and The Good Wife bag several nominations. Let us peer at the rest of the nominations over the jump.
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Feature length animations! HAR HAR! They’re funny aren’t they? You’re only ever 2 feet away from someone who is thinking “it’s good this film because it has some jokes for the adults in as well!” INNUENDO! HAR HAR!
Of course, these things are all exercises in cynicism, but y’know, all films are aren’t they? Why are we even whining about it? We’re jaded, that’s why. Please don’t copy our attitude and behaviour because it’ll only end up in a failed cry for help.
Anyway, (cue: Fanfare) From the studio that brought you ‘Shrek’, ‘Madagascar’ and ‘Kung Fu Panda’ comes a film about a diabolical super-villain called Megamind who has failed to conquer Earth for over 20 years. That’s because caped superhero Metro Man keeps getting in his way.
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10 – Supermodel in ‘aggressively stupid’ shock – AmyGrindhouse
9 - Want to learn all about hip-hop? Fortunately this middle-aged woman has all the know-how – MyChemicalToilet
8 - What’s that? Our very own Chris Laverty got the world exclusive about the ending of Inception? Goodness – ClothesOnFilm
7 – Want to quickly reverse your crush on Tina Fey? Then watch this advert she made in the 1990s – BestWeekEver
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Two big new movie releases this week. One was Date Night – a film that combines the superlative comic talents of Steve Carell and Tina Fey.
The other was Letters To God. Letters To God describes itself as ‘a heartfelt tale of inspiration, hope and redemption’, features a cancer patient writing things like “Dear God, can you see the stars from heaven?” from the roof of his house, has a trailer that mentions God at least four times a minute and which has inspired YouTube comments such as “my opinion is, God is an awesome God! And the only God!”. So which film triumphed at the weekend box office this week?
Date Night, obviously. Letters To God didn’t even make the top five. Seriously, it sounds rubbish.
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Like movie stars and music moguls, television people like nothing better than an evening of expensive outfits, impressive golden statuettes changing hands, and beautiful faces all sitting around telling one another just how brilliant they all are at their jobs. It’s only a shame that such wonderful nights out don’t stretch into normal jobs.
We shall only ever dream of a day when undervalued stone masons and building site skivvies get to breeze around outside hotels shouting details of their suits/blouses to hysterical reporters. What a great day that would be. Read More >>>
With The Noughties almost at an end, it’s time to reflect.
How will they best be remembered? Will people look back at a decade of global disasters, like 9/11, the world banking crisis and George W Bush? Or even the rise of talentless celebs such as Lily Allen, Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears?
Well, we could list things all day, but being the shallow idiots we are, we have instead decided to focus on what really matters – the sexiest women. Call it a study of our shifting ideas about beauty and fashion if you like, but it’s really just another excuse to scour the internet for pictures of sexy girls.
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