Last week saw the release of a new Tim McGraw album, and Tim McGraw wants everyone to know how completely sorry he is about it. You see, Tim McGraw was upset because the new album was a Greatest Hits collection and it was full of his most famous old songs that people enjoy listening to, rather than the collection of new bad rubbish that he wanted to release.

So, to counter this, Tim McGraw has released a statement showing his anger at the album’s release and pleading with fans not to buy it. And, in turn, Tim McGraw’s record label’s next release will be a collection of Tim McGraw b-sides all performed by crying children trapped down a well with a tuba player and fanged clown.

You never really equate artistry with the country music scene, do you? Blind patriotism, yes. Alcoholism, yes. Domestic abuse and accusations of paedophilia, yes. Reckless gunplay, yes. But not artistry.

But there’s always an exception to the rule, and in this case it’s Tim McGraw. Tim McGraw is precious about his music. The conception of a new song is a tender, joyous thing to Tim McGraw, especially since he cloaks each new creation in subtle layers of sociopolitical commentary. For instance, did you know that Do You Want Fries With That is actually a critique of the Belsen school hostage crisis? And That’s Why God Made Mexico is a paean to the Jobs and Growth Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2003? No, us neither. We just made it up.

But just because all his songs are about chips and Mexicans, it doesn’t mean that Tim McGraw isn’t fiercely protective of his music. We already know that Tim will get medieval on anyone whose wife-beating shenanigans threaten to overshadow his songs, and now he’s proved that he isn’t even afraid to stick it to his own record company.

Last week saw the release of Tim McGraw’s Greatest Hits 3, the latest in the much-loved collection of Tim McGraw Greatest Hits albums that includes Tim McGraw’s Greatest Hits 1 and another one that we’ve forgotten the name of. All the hits are on the new album, from Angry All The Time to a collaboration with Def Leppard that should probably only be played to rapists as a form of punishment.

But McGraw isn’t happy about it, partially because he’s only released one new album since his last Greatest Hits album, and he’s released a statement warning fans about it:

I am saddened and disappointed that my label chose to put out another hits album instead of new music. I’ve only had one studio album since my last hits package. It has to be just as confusing to the fans as it is to me. I had no involvement in the creation or presentation of this record. Sure I love the songs, and I don’t want to take anything away from all the creative people who were a part of making those records. But the whole concept is an embarrassment to me as an artist. In the spirit of an election year, I would simply say to my fans ‘I’m Tim McGraw and I don’t approve their message.’

A procession of Greatest Hits albums is always a sign that an artist is creatively on the slide, and we’re sure that Tim McGraw is aware of this. He’s currently working on a brand new studio album, and he’d obviously rather be judged on that than a tired old repackaging of his older work.

So let’s hope Tim McGraw hurries up and releases this new album of his. He’d better, because there’s a Greatest Hits 4 album is due out next Wednesday, and at the moment it hasn’t got any flipping songs in it.

Maybe we'll never know for sure, but let's forget the history for a moment and just laugh at the fat, allegedly woman-beating rednecks who go to country music concerts. Like the fat, allegedly woman-beating redneck who country star Tim McGraw hauled up onstage and ejected from a show in Washington on Tuesday night.

Best of all, there's video footage of the incident. An obnoxious fat cowboy who's too fat to be lifted off the ground by three other obnoxious cowboys? Sounds perfect, doesn't it? It's not – the video's got a country music soundtrack. Bleugh.

There's a lot to be said for just how unpleasant country music fans are – they're so unpleasant that not even country singers like them very much. It's true, and we have a pre-prepared list of example to demonstrate this point.

1) Kenny Chesney wins an award and is pleased. Wait a minute, who voted for this award? Country music fans? Yeuch, take it back! Take it back!

2) You know what Faith Hill enjoys doing more than singing country songs to country fans? Screaming abuse at country fans.

3) "Hi there, I'm Billy Joe Shaver. You wouldn't happen to be a country fan, would you? You would? Well then, hold still while I shoot you in the cheek. Actually, non-metaphorically shoot you in your genuine cheek with my real loaded gun that I've got here."

And if there's one country singer who dislikes country fans more than anyone else, it's Tim McGraw. Oh, you know, Tim McGraw. He distinguishes himself from all the other country singers by wearing a cowboy hat. His songs include Tears In The Rain, You Don't Love Me Any More and Kill Myself. Happy chap, you must recognise him.

No? Well actually that's not important because you don't need to know Tim McGraw to be able to appreciate Tim McGraw's contribution to the art of angrily ejecting his own fans in the middle of his concerts. You see, in Washington on Tuesday night Tim McGraw apparently spied a man being aggressive in the front row of his concert and held everything up while he threw the varmint out. Here's the video…

Wow, that's a level of fury we rarely see. Notice how when he spots the troublemaker in the audience, Tim McGraw instructs his band to keep playing? He's actually so mad at this one guy that he chooses to punish his entire audience with an extended fiddle-di-dee country music jam? That's badass.

Anyway, Tim McGraw has decided to explain his actions in a statement, and here it is:

"A man rush[ed] to the front of the stage. This overly aggressive fan attacked a female fan, and Tim witnessed this incident. Tim called for security, but when they could not respond quick enough, Tim and several crew members removed the fan from the audience. He was then turned over to the local authorities."

We presume that the statement's actually from Tim McGraw's publicist and not Tim himself, because if you knew you were dealing with a man who constantly referred to himself in the third person, the last thing you'd want to do is to disrupt his concert. That'd signify an imbalance that you just wouldn't want to mess with.

Anyway, let's hope this incident is a timely reminder to others on how to deal with disruptive audience members. Specifically you, Akon. Notice how Tim McGraw just shoved him backstage instead of throwing him into the crowd or manically dry-humping him? Take notes, please.