Articles tagged with: tila tequila
So Chris Brown has been convicted for his horrific choke-attack on Rihanna and he's been punished accordingly. That's the end of all that, then. But you know what'd be great? If something almost identical happened, but this time to two people who barely even counted as celebrities. You know, two staggering nonentities who've made such a pointlessly small contribution to the world that we'd be surprised if their parents would be able to pick them from a line-up comprising them, three goats and a Weetabix. Anyway, American footballer Shawne Merriman has been arrest on suspicion of choking Tila Tequila. Hooray!
Everything has to be made bigger and better.
Take the humble dating show. Blind Date on ITV was a great way of laughing at creepy singletons. It was easy to see what they would be like based on answers to scripted questions such as “What do you like doing in your spare time?” Contestant One – Following women around and photographing them. Contestant Two – Stealing knickers off washing lines. Contestant Three – Worshipping Satan and drinking goat blood. Based on these responses, you could select a stalker stud and be whisked off to Torquay for a romantic canal trip.
Sadly this classic format died and was replaced with shows like Flavor Of Love 1, 2 and 3, I Love New York and, more recently, the terrible A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila 1 and 2. And, judging by the godawful way that the latter ended, probably A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila 3.
If you’ve ever been to a wedding, or seen one on the TV, or in a film, or read about them, or just, well, know anything about them at all, you’ll know that before the happy couple can be officially married the priest will say: “If anyone knows reasons why these two can’t be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Whenever that’s said, you know if would be amusing for someone to stand up and say something - be it someone screaming: “I’m pregnant with his child!” or: “he’s a wife beater!” or even the ever-popular: "he gave me some kind of incurable VD on his stag night, and he's quite possibly a vampire!"
Remember when MTV used to be remotely hip, cutting edge and worth watching?
The very same days when it used to play the occasional music video as well. Times have now changed and seemingly anyone that’s been in the papers is getting their own show on the once-credible network.
In the past, viewers have had to endure washed up pop star Lisa Scott Lee and her crap attempt at trying to get a song into the charts. Even the human car crash that is Kerry Katona has given us a warts-and-all show, literally, to give an insight into the life of a fame-hungry, media-seeking bint, who also happens to be another failed musician. If you can call her that. And lest we forget Tila Tequila, social crusader.
He may not be a singer of any kind, but Calum Best has pointlessly been baptised into the celebrity world. His dad was a footballer, you know. And a chap with a passion for alcohol, so much so it broke his liver. So, simply because he came from Best Snr's semen, young Calum automatically becomes famous... ?
It must be great being this 'Tila Tequila' thing, even if we're still not really sure who or what it really is. For one you get a dating show on MTV all about how you're wacky and bisexual - what ker-azyness - and then you get to tell the world you've single-handedly changed it, giving gay couples the rights they deserve. It's an audacious claim, that's for sure.
