If there was ever a reason to envy billionaires, it’s the lack of effort they need to put into romancing the ladies.
Look at Tiger Woods. He managed to have it off with roughly half the world’s population of leathery, nylon-haired titty models with too many vowels in their names, and what effort did he put in to get there? He bashed out a handful of meaningless text messages that read as if they’ve been translated into Russian and then back into English.
If alleged mistress Joslyn James is to believed, Tiger Woods managed to get her into bed with a text message reading “I wish I had the ability to make you sore”. Even by promising to cover women in thousands of infected skin ulcers, Tiger Woods still managed to get his end away. We’ve never been so jealous.
