Tiger Woods rehab - HecklerSpray

Actually, we should probably clarify that headline. Tiger Woods isn’t definitely in sex rehab. He probably is.

Or he’s near it. Or someone who looks like Tiger Woods from a distance is near it. Possibly. That’s basically the gist of the story, but Person Of Indistinguishable Gender Who From A Distance Bears A Passing Resemblance To Tiger Woods Gets Quite Close To What Could Feasibly Be But Is Not Necessarily A Sex Rehab Facility didn’t really work so well as a headline. We tried it and everything.

Anyway, someone has taken a photo of what they claim to be Tiger Woods outside the Mississippi sex rehab where he’s rumoured to be staying. If that’s true, do you know what this means? It means that… Tiger Woods might quite like having sex. Hot news, there, from about four months ago.

You people make us sick. You laughed at Tiger Woods for humping everything in sight like some kind of horny billionaire terrier?

Well stop. Tiger Woods has a disease. He didn’t have it off with all those women because he’s a thoughtless, power-hungry, sweating nutsack of a man who enjoys no-strings sexual intercourse behind his wife’s back with an endless procession of identically orange cocktail hostesses with too many vowels shoehorned into their names and so much collagen stuffed up their crevices that they barely look able to stand up properly.

No. Tiger Woods did all that because he has an illness – an illness called sex addiction. And even though it’s an illness that probably doesn’t even exist, Tiger Woods has gone to rehab for it anyway. Who knows, maybe he’ll bump into someone who’s being treated for superfluous vowel addiction and they’ll hit it off.

Tiger Woods Definitely In Sex Rehab

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