Charlie Sheen keeps saying the word ‘winning’. Sadly for him, he isn’t and the word has now lost all meaning. He’s no longer a particular figure of fun, but rather, a sad man self-harming in public.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t berate him for no good reason. It’s not our fault he’s sick in the brains.
Mercifully for Sheen, public hostility has been at a minimum as he faced make-up wearing blouses at the Insane Clown Posse’s Gathering of the Juggalos where the god-fearing lamos showed the world that they throw like baby girls.
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Angelina Jolie loves knives, this much we know – the woman literally eats, drinks and wipes her bottom with a knife in her hand.
Angelina Jolie loves knives so much that she picks her movies by blindly throwing a knife at a random pile of scripts. What’s more, we hear that Angelina’s adoption process involves a fierce knife-off in an orphanage, with the last child standing being chosen has her new baby.
Or, in possibly more accurate news, Angelina Jolie allegedly flings knives at walls during fights, and Brad Pitt has bought her some anger management classes because he’s so terrified.
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You know that video of Akon angrily picking up a teenage boy and throwing him into a screaming crowd of people during a show? Yeah, Akon says he didn't do it.
Yesterday Akon appeared at a courtroom in Fishkill, New York to enter a not guilty plea to charges of endangering a minor and second-degree harassment stemming from the summer's fan-chucking incident. Pleading not guilty is a brave move for Akon because a) he was filmed doing the thing he's pleaded not guilty to and b) if he's convicted, Akon could end up spending over a year in jail. A year without Akon's blend of slightly derivative squeaky-voiced R&B music? Why, surely that's a punishment for us all.
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