Articles tagged with: Threatened
At a mandatory hecklerspray retreat we all had to attend, have fun at or be fired, everybody woke up to a horrible fright. It was Stu Heritage and Chris Laverty screaming in unison because they simultaneously dreamt that Madonna's wrinkled old lady hands were wrapping around their throats with the full intent of murder. Needless to say the lights stayed on the rest of the night, and that Holiday song was taken off of subliminal repeat. Incidentally, their joined screams were rather beautiful together - would anybody have guessed that Stu is a tenor? Well he really is. Sarah Palin may know what it's like to lie awake nights with the constant fear of Madonna hobbling into her room like an old lady and whacking her with a cane until her collarbone breaks or something - because Madge has continued her onstage assault of her, recently announcing she's going to kick the Governor's 'ass.'
hecklerspray probably has 10 nightmares a night. The most recent one included us stuck in a jail that was entirely made of fish. It was terrifying until the jailer brought us tartar sauce - then it was scrumptious.
The second most recent night terror we had included Julia Roberts riding a Harley straight out of hell. It looked almost identical to those three Meatloaf album covers actually, except in Roberts' one fist she was clenching the spinal columns of what appeared to be 200 babies, and in the other she was leafing through the script for Pretty Woman II: The Moral Dilemma Of A Hooker In Love. Oh, and she was wearing the cutest pink skirt. Other than that the imagery all looked exactly like Meatloaf's albums.
A few Paparazzi recently got closer to our nightmares than we would ever hope to be. Morgan Freeman jumped on their car and started hosing them with a Super Soaker full of that black stuff from a smoker's lung. Wait - no that was our third to last dream. It's always celebrity something or other. What happened to those camera flashers was a fraction less disease-encrusted but equally scary.
They got chased down by an angry arm-waving horn-honking Julia Roberts.
