Thor - HecklerSpray

Disney Changes The Name Of The Avengers, Let’s All Blame Honor Blackman

February 29th, 2012 By Robin Darke

Hands up if you were excited seeing The Avengers when it gets released in April. Well we?ll just go ahead and chop those hands off because it seems that you won't be seeing The Avengers anytime soon. Nope. Disney has decided that the great British public, those responsible for making Katie Price a business woman, are too stupid to realise that a film being released in 2012 has absolutely no similarities to a 1960s TV show.

What's that about?

What's that about, indeed hecklersprayers? Disney, who bought Marvel Entertainment in 2009 for $4 billion, thinks that you're too stupid to differentiate between different characters four decades apart. Too stupid to realise that Captain America never appeared with John Steed. Too bumbling to see that Scarlett Johansson was clearly too young to be in it.

Marvel’s The Avengers Trailer Looks Really, Really Stupid

August 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

One of the big talking points from the Super Bowl commercial break was… well… Clint Eastwood. Away from that though, there’s a little excitement surrounding the trailer for Marvel’s The Avengers movie.

While most superhero flicks are brooding like Batman at the moment, it appears that The Avengers film is going to be pleasingly dumb, if the trailer is anything to go by.

So if you want to see it, strap in and watch things explode with?Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr), Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) and Hulk get into a giant scrap with a fella with long, greasy hair.

Smell Like A Superhero; Don’t Worry, It’s Not Condorman

January 24th, 2012 By Robin Darke

Ever wanted to smell like one of Marvel?s finest? Of course you have. If you said you'd be a stinking liar. See what we did there? Stinking. It's a joke! A funny joke! Oh, shut up a second and we?ll tell you how you can.

We've always longed for our lady friends to smell like Black Widow, and for our friends to smell like rejection, fear and Michael Fassbender: just like the X-Men.

The good people at Jads International, which sounds a lot like one of the stripping troupes that frequently visit the HS bedsit (Nads International) are bringing you a range of aftershaves that are themed around the main characters from the upcoming, and not at all Marvel?s last chance-saloon, The Avengers.

Natalie Portman is Definitely Going To Win An Oscar For Black Swan and Loves Kenneth Branagh As Well

September 7th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Like everyone else on this crummy Earth, we’re fans of Natalie Portman. She’s made some good films and, when she’s been in not-so-good films, she still looks just like Natalie Portman which is better looking than, say, you. And you. And everyone stood behind you ’til the horizon.

Anyway, it seems that her latest role, in Black Swan, is almost certainly going to win her an Oscar. Yep. It’s all sewn up. Everyone who has seen the new flick at the Venice Film Festival came out of the show, muttering about how wonderful her performance is.

And quite possibly, trying to hide their erections from the lesbian scenes with Mila Kunis which feature.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

High top and low-low.

Folded:

Totally wicked bendy Chinese chair (so much more fun than just sitting down)
Hans Zimmer?s clever-clever Inception score (shame it's sold out everywhere)
Watch the entire Thor movie in five minutes! (best bit: last thirty seconds)
Inception again (the bit you missed)
A new one at last (it's not that nice though)

Creased:

No more UK film Council (easy to blame the Tories, so let's do that)
Fart pants for the ladies (who wants these, really?)
This teaser for Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (why in character ads are never a good idea)

Natalie Portman Is Thor, Or Thor’s Missus, Or Something

July 14th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Thor is going to be a huge movie for Marvel – if all goes well, it’ll end up as its first humiliating flop.

Don’t take that for granted. If Thor is really going to be as headache-inducingly terrible as can be – if it truly has its eyes set on the highest peak of catastrophic awfulness known to man – then it must take down some A-list actors with it. So thank heavens that Natalie Portman has signed up for Thor.

But Natalie Portman has her work cut out. Can she make Thor as woeful as she made Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium? Doubtful.

Samuel L Jackson To Essentially Star In Every Marvel Film Ever

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

If all the Virgin Media TV adverts haven’t already made you utterly sick of Samuel L Jackson’s face, we’ve got good news.

You’ll be seeing more of it. A lot more. In fact, if you plan on seeing any Marvel movie over the next decade, chances are that at some point Samuel L Jackson is going to walk on as Nick Fury, waggle his good eye around and bugger off again.

Because Marvel has just signed Samuel L Jackson up for nine movies – including Iron Man 2, Thor, Thor 2, Captain America and the long-awaited Nick Fury Sings The Hits Of Genesis.

Kenneth Branagh Wants To Direct Thor

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

When you think of films about disabled medical students who touch magical hammers and become crime-fighting Norse gods, the first name that springs to mind is obviously Kenneth Branagh.

Isn’t it? It isn’t? In fact Kenneth Branagh would probably be one of the last people you’d associate with something that brawny and gormless? Well tell that to Marvel, because they’re currently in talks with Kenneth Branagh about their new Thor movie. In short, Kenneth Branagh wants to direct Thor.

Kenneth Branagh directing a summertime comic book movie like Thor might sound slightly ridiculous, but the idea has potential – with any luck Branagh will turn Thor into a cross between his modern-day romantic musical interpretation of Love’s Labour Lost and that Frankenstein movie where he made Robert De Niro dress up like Sloth from The Goonies and run around the north pole. Ace!