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Peter Andre Blubs All Over The Gogglebox
By Ian Dransfield on Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 4:00pm | No Comment
Peter Andre Blubs All Over The Gogglebox Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us.
Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming.
What a tool.
See? We're not just mean to Katie Price.
Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
New This Morning Host: Davina McCall?
By Stuart Heritage on Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 10:00am | No Comment
New This Morning Host: Davina McCall? We've finally reached the end of our interminable search to find Fern Britton's replacement on This Morning.
What does that mean? It means that in a few weeks' time, one of the contenders who we've profiled will definitely become the new host of This Morning. Unless someone else does. Or Philip Schofield decides to go it alone. Or the entire ITV building topples over and falls into the river. Either way, it won't affect your life in the slightest so it doesn't really matter.
Here, then, is the This Morning rundown for Davina McCall...
New This Morning Presenter: Melanie Sykes?
By Stuart Heritage on Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 10:00am | No Comment
New This Morning Presenter: Melanie Sykes? Two days left to go on our thorough  - some would say tedious - earch to find the new replacement for Fern Britton on This Morning.
And with two days left, that can only mean that we're playing with the big boys. You know, the megastars, the presenters who've left an indelible mark on the public consciousness, the heroes, the wizards, the globally-recognised celebrities.
So here's the This Morning rundown for Melanie Sykes. Melanie Sykes. Oh, come on, you know her. You do...
Next This Morning Host: Myleene Klass?
By Stuart Heritage on Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 12:00pm | No Comment
Next This Morning Host: Myleene Klass? So, we have some good news and some bad news for you. The first piece of news is that we're still thumping out these predictions to see who'll take over from Fern Britton as the host of This Morning.
The other piece of news is that on Friday we'll replace it with news about Big Brother. Hey, wait a minute, that's not good news and bad news! That's bad news and bad news! Oh, how depressing.
Anyway, here are the chances of Myleene Klass being made the new host of This Morning...
New This Morning Host: Christine Bleakley?
By Stuart Heritage on Monday, June 1, 2009 at 10:00am | No Comment
New This Morning Host: Christine Bleakley? It's week two of our hunt to find Fern Britton's This Morning replacement. Week two, for crying out loud. What are we thinking?
You know, we think we're wasting our time here. This Morning doesn't need to replace Fern Britton at all. What This Morning needs to do is bring back Fred Talbot, knock up a scale model of the British isles and let him leap around it describing the weather. That's when This Morning went south, not when Cackly McLardypants resigned. Oh, why won't anyone listen to us?
Anyway, here's the This Morning rundown for Christine Bleakley...
New This Morning Host: Coleen Nolan?
By Stuart Heritage on Friday, May 29, 2009 at 10:00am | No Comment
New This Morning Host: Coleen Nolan? Here we are, at the end of the first week of our search for Fern Britton's replacement on This Morning.
That's right - we said our first week. There's more of this coming next week. Really, you shouldn't thank us. No, no, you're too kind. And best of all, the ones next week will all be legitimate contenders for the job, so it'll be even harder to make jokes about them. Fun!
Anyway, here's our rundown on Coleen Nolan becoming the new This Morning host...
New This Morning Host: Emma Forbes?
By Stuart Heritage on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 10:00am | One Comment
New This Morning Host: Emma Forbes? Here we are again, churning out possible This Morning replacements for Fern Britton like our lives depended on it. Which they don't.
Don't worry, though. This won't last forever. This time next week, in fact, we'll be bombarding you with Big Brother profiles and rundowns. And that's better, isn't it? Or worse. But definitely one of those two things. Unless it's exactly the same. Let's face it, it'll be exactly the same.
Anyway, will Emma Forbes be the new This Morning host? Let's jolly well find out, shall we?
New This Morning Host: Ulrika Jonsson?
By Stuart Heritage on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 10:00am | No Comment
New This Morning Host: Ulrika Jonsson? Why hello there. You're just in time for the greatest thing you will see all day, provided you have exceptionally low standards.
It's the next part in our breathtaking 'Who's going to take over from Fern Britton as co-host of This Morning?' rundown. Every day until Big Brother starts, we'll be profiling a contender to become the new female presenter of ITV's daytime behemoth This Morning. Unless a new co-host is announced before then, of course. In which case we're effed.
Still, here's the rundown for Ulrika Jonsson...
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