The Wrestler - HecklerSpray

Bloke From The Wrestler In ‘Something About Steroids’ Shock

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You know The Wrestler, the movie about the steroid-taking wrestler who works in a profession where people take steroids a lot?

You’ll never guess what. Someone from The Wrestler has been arrested on suspicion of dealing steroids. Scott Siegel is currently being held without bail after a police chase ended with the arrest in New York yesterday.

Oddly enough, though, Scott Siegel actually played a steroid dealer in The Wrestler. This, we’re certain, is the most dead-on case of art imitating life we’ve seen since Kate Winslet starred in Revolutionary Road and then turned into a full-time annoyingly weepy turdbucket.

Mickey Rourke Won’t Be Beaten To Mush At Wrestlemania Now

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The last time Mickey Rourke put aside acting to focus on professional fighting, it ended as badly as you’d imagine.

It ended with Sylvester Stallone‘s Get Carter remake. Ugh. But Mickey Rourke isn’t a man who repeats his mistakes – apart from the mistake involving him having haphazard cosmetic surgery procedure done on his face. And that’s why Mickey Rourke has decided he’ll no longer fight at April’s Wrestlemania.

We’re appalled. Without Mickey Rourke, who at Wrestlemania will provide our fill of tragic, borderline-decrepit ageing beefcakes who essentially make their living as performing monkeys? All the other wrestlers? Oh.

Mickey Rourke: The Wrestler Wrestles Wrestlers At Wrestlemania

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Some would say that Mickey Rourke’s face looks like an uncooked hamburger patty that’s been trampled by a marching band.

But not us. We’d say that Mickey Rourke’s face doesn’t look enough like an uncooked hamburger patty that’s been trampled by a marching band. And we think Mickey Rourke agrees with us.

Why? Because it’s been hinted that Mickey Rourke – from The Wrestler, remember – will wrestle Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania in April. One-sided? Relax! After Wrestlemania there’s going to be a rematch to see who can sob the most incoherently on a beach, a bout that Rourke will easily win.

Mickey Rourke To Star In Iron Man 2, Also Every Film Ever Made

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Yesterday we implied that Mickey Rourke’s comeback would consist of The Wrestler, a rubbish Stallone movie and nothing else.

Turns out we couldn’t have been more wrong. Mickey Rourke is hot property again – and he’s proving it by also starring in Iron Man 2. According to reports, Iron Man director Jon Favreau is keen to have Rourke play the movie’s villain.

It’s bittersweet news, really – Mickey Rourke must be thrilled by the enthusiasm in which he’s been re-embraced by Hollywood, but it’ll be a bitter blow to The Puppet Corpse Of Orson Welles. He really had his eye on that part, you know.

Mickey Rourke Seals Comeback With Gormless Stallone Movie

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

This is Mickey Rourke’s year – by Christmas he’ll have won an Oscar, become the biggest star on Earth and colonised the moon.

That’s if you believe the hype. If you don’t believe the hype you’ll realise that Mickey Rourke was lucky enough to be cast in a movie that required a washed-up squidge-faced dumbbell who cries a lot as a star. But either way, thanks to The Wrestler Mickey Rourke is back in business.

So how is Mickey Rourke going to continue of his run of critically-acclaimed highbrow movies? By co-starring in a low-rent film about Sylvester Stallone killing everything. Whoops.