WEBTHUMP! August 26 2009 10 - Like The Wire? Here, have some moderately exciting news - Interestment 9 - It's time to read your new favourite Portuguese-language celebrity blog! - Papelpop 8 - We'll be delving into this year's X Factor once we've built up a tolerance for it again. In the meantime, here's this - Watchwithmothers 7 - Let's play a game. If YOU had to replace the legs of a tortoise with a household item, what would YOU choose? - Best Week Ever

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is Folded: In the Loop (more creative swearing than you’ll ever need) Stewart Lee (for having the stones to allow his recent awful TV show to air at all) Vintage ice creams (good old Freaky Feet. Though spot the one that shouldn’t be there) Laughing at people attempting to have a picnic in lukewarm sunshine (bet that tin of Frutini is transporting ...

Things That You Must Like, Including The Wire… Look at you. Are those plimsolls? Actual plimsolls? Are they ironic plimsolls? Or just normal plimsolls? Are you poor? Or just pretending? Think before you answer, because should they be anything but ironic, and society - cool society, where people like Pixie Geldof and Henry Holland live - will turn its back on you. It's a cruel, unforgiving place - society. It dictates that grown adults should peacock about town with their skinny jeans damn-near squashing their balls, and everyone actually seems to like Lady Ga Ga. And Lady Ga Ga is a total cretin, by the way. But they buy her singles with their iTunes for their iPods. They love her. They also like stonewashed jeans. With survival in mind, here are four things you should at least claim to like, unless you fancy getting completely ostracised by your so-called friends:

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is This week’s right and wrong. Folded: Daniel by Bat for Lashes (a bit Fleetwood Maccy, but who can honestly say that’s a bad thing?) Canvas prints (can’t afford real art? Buy pop art prints of famous celebrities and pretend you live in a gift shop) Getting a new car (it smells great and ...

Charlie Sheen Earns More Than You It really isn't very nice reading stories about those acting types and how much they actually earn for what they consider 'work'. Now sure, if it's someone like the Baler losing ridiculous amounts of weight (or putting it back on to be Batman), or generally any kind of actor that's willing to put their body on the line and actually change themselves physically or mentally to help their performance, then fair enough. But when you're Charlie Sheen? Come on. You don't really deserve that much for your acting talent, do you? Sure, you were entertaining in 'Hot Shots', but does that mean you should be able to command $825,000 (about £420,000) per episode of 'Two and a Half Men', thus making you the highest paid TV actor in the US? Apparently it does. Colour us confused.

Katherine Heigl Full of Hate For Another Thing She Works On? Katherine Heigl has gone and done 'that thing' again, where she puts herself in a situation where the media can misunderstand and misquote her, thus making her look like something of a bitch. Come on Katherine, grow some sense - you can't make any comment about anything, ever, without it being jumped on and you made out to look like something of a snob or a twit. Remember the Knocked Up 'sexist' fiasco? Where it came out that you thought the film was sexist? Then backtracked, claiming your quote was taken out of context? Then everyone decided you hated the film? Then everyone decided you were a bit of a mouthy git? Seriously - the smart money would be on choosing your words more carefully, or just keeping schtum. But you haven't learned - this time you've made it look as if you're slagging off Grey's Anatomy, which currently pays the bills. Again, maybe not so smart.