Articles tagged with: The View
The View is a place for women of differing political viewpoints to intelligently discuss the news of the day while squawking around like a gang of clueless ninnies. And, as such, all political viewpoints must be represented on The View. That's why Elisabeth Hasselbeck has gained longterm employment on The View as the show's resident spiteful backwards reactionary fact-ignoring common sense-deprived world-hating Bible-humping bumbling yokel. But maybe not for much longer. It's been reported that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is getting more and more infuriated with the liberal viewpoints of her co-host Whoopi Goldberg, to the extent that 'cooling-off meetings' have been arranged to calm her down. It's led to speculation that Elisabeth Hasselbeck will soon leave The View, which will be a shame. We were hoping she'd stick around at least until her brain popped.
Ask yourself this - is there anything really more romantic than an unconvincing on/off relationship between two people who you don't really care about?
Jessica Simpson doesn't seem to think so, because she's slap-bang in the middle of one as we speak and it's all she can bloody well carp on about. Jessica Simpson was on The View recently, and seemed weirdly determined to tell everyone how much she and her boyfriend Tony Romo love each other at suspiciously short intervals, despite constant rumours suggesting that they've split up.
Let's hope that Jessica Simpson isn't just staying together with Tony Romo for our sake, because 'Jessica Simpson Starts Crying Because She's Sad And So, So Alone' is a headline that we're itching to use, you know.
Since this year's Oscars were made of about 85% retrospective clips, it meant that viewers were forced to watch every last self-congratulatory moment from Oscar history on Sunday.
Except one - thanks to a heartbreaking oversight, Vassilis Fotopoulos' speech after winning the Best Art Direction Oscar for Zorba The Greek in 1964 was cruelly omitted from the proceedings.
Oh, and everything Whoopi Goldberg ever did. Despite winning an Oscar - and being the Oscars host on four separate occasions between 1994 and 2001 - there was no sign of Whoopi Goldberg anywhere in all the endless montages on Sunday. And that made Whoopi Goldberg cry. On TV. Video after the jump.
Ever since Rosie O'Donnell left The View, there's been a hole in Elisabeth Hasselbeck's life - a big, attention-seeking, red-faced hole that won't stop screaming unless you plug it onto the end of a boob.
But now that hole has been filled by Elisabeth Hasselbeck's newborn baby son. Not much was known about Elisabeth Hasselbeck's son - other than that it's going to rebel harder than any other child in history in about 16 years' time - but then Elisabeth Hasselbeck called The View yesterday to reveal all. Apparently Elisabeth Hasselbeck's new baby is called Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck and weighs 7 pounds, 15 ounces. Hasselbeck would have gone into more detail on The View but she cut things short because she knows that the first few days of a child's life are critical for force-feeding it crackpot right-wing patriotic nonsense before it learns how to say "shut up" or put its fingers in its ears.
Like us, you've probably turned on the TV over the last few months and been frustrated at the lack of hulking angry red-faced lesbians spluttering and gasping any time anyone says something they even slightly disagree with.
If that's the case, well, we don't want you to get too excited here, but it looks like Rosie O'Donnell is going to be given her own show on MSNBC. It's early days yet, but rumour has it that Rosie O'Donnell is in negotiations to bounce back after her high-profile resignation from The View with a daily prime-time TV show where she'll be in direct competition with Larry King. Nothing's been confirmed yet, but it's thought that Rosie O'Donnell has already drawn up a shortlist of potential titles for her show, including I Hate Everything, Outta My Way Assholes and Has Anyone Else Noticed That Elisabeth Hasselbeck Doesn't Have Her Own Show? She Doesn't, I Checked.
