Hey! You know Julian Assange? What do you mean you don’t know who he is? He’s the man who leaks things. Allegedly, he leaks things all over people against their will (which he denies, natch). He also likes leaking documents which really gets up the nose of the world’s governments.

Sounds like a thrilling bloke, doesn’t he?

Well, the activist, currently under house arrest in the UK, is going to play himself in the 500th episode of The Simpsons. Yes really. We suspect he’s going to be very, very funny indeed. ‘He’ being Homer Simpson, not Julian Assange.

Apparently, Assange recorded his lines from a secret location, after show creator Matt Groening heard a rumour that he was interested in appearing on the television programme, according to The Telegraph.

The episode (airing in February) will see Homer and Marge hearing that Springfield residents have been holding secret meetings to evict the troublesome family from the town.

“The Simpsons go off the grid to this very rugged place where they meet [Assange], who’s sort of their new Flanders,” said Al Jean, executive producer of the show.

Then, in a really cheerful move, Assange then shows Homer a video of an Afghan wedding being bombed. No. We’re not making that up.

“He’s a controversial figure, and there’s a good reason he’s controversial,”Mr Jean told US journalists. “There was discussion internally whether or not to have him on the show, but ultimately we went ahead and did it.”

In other news, Julian Assange is due to appear at a hearing in the Supreme Court on Wednesday to appeal extradition to Sweden over sex crime allegations.

Is that officially funny now?

Banksy is, let’s be honest here, vaguely amusing but ultimately, irritating as piles. He’s the art-world’s Bono, constantly asking us to look at ourselves like we’re brain-dead scum. Of course, fans of his will claim a moral victory because he’s managed to put into his work what they couldn’t say in words. Or, more realistically, they like to be seen to care about… y’know… stuff.

And with his fame, Banksy has managed to make a decent living out of being unknown. He’s done pieces in war-torn areas, New Orleans and various famous landmarks, all the while, telling us how we’re hopeless consumers, willing to lap-up anything we’re told… then selling a shed-load of books.

And now, he’s managed to land the gig of creating the title sequence of The Simpsons. And it’s oh-so bloody controversial.

The intro was shown in the US last night and opens with the graffiti artist’s tag doodled all  over Springfield. That’s all well and good.

Then comes the controversial part.

It switches from the Simpson family’s living room to a massive sweatshop, with depressed looking workers in an austere warehouse painting cartoon cells and making Simpsons merchandise, filled with dead animals and blah blah.

Amusingly enough, this weak-wristed attack on mass-production will no doubt end up on a Simpson’s DVD at some point, made in some unpleasant warehouse somewhere. That’s nice isn’t it? It’s like Radiohead advising their fans cycle to their shows while jetting around the world in planes fuelled by rocking horse shit.

Apparently, this extended intro was inspired by reports that the show outsources the bulk of their animation to a company in South Korea.

Banksy has stated that his storyboard led to delays, disputes over broadcast standards and a threatened walk out by the animation department.

Then, Al Jean, The Simpsons executive producer, showed Banksy how to be funny by dismissing the furore with:

“This is what you get when you outsource.”

ZING!

The episode, called MoneyBart, will be shown in the UK on 21st October or, if you’re cod-political, you’ll get it on a torrent.

Here’s the intro.

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The Simpsons has been on television for roughly 2000 years. Of course, with a show so insanely old and long-running, there’s a lot of ground covered. The sheer volume of pop-culture references in the show is enough to fill a thousand books.

Naturally, we’re not going to try and make a playlist of every single tune used or referred to in the show, but we can certainly cream a few classics into one list.

So keep an eye out for the one where you feel the need to shout “Get to the workin’ overtime part!”, the one where you’re amazed at Peter Frampton being able to make his guitar talk, or indeed, the hymn by I. Ron Butterfly. Anyway, continue reading for The Simpsons playlist.

Here we have it then. There’s going to be loads of tracks missed off that feature in your favourite clips, but sadly, that’s just the rub of the green because there’s so much music and moments to cover, you simply can’t get it all in.

However, we do hope that you like the choices made, or at the very least, you decide to use Uptown Girl as a protest song.

Whatever.

HecklerPlay: The Simpsons Greatest Hits Tracklisting:

Takin’ Care of Business – Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe – Barry White

Cats In The Cradle – Harry Chapin

In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida – Iron Butterfly

Spanish Flea – Herb Alpert

Baby Elephant Walk – Henry Mancini

Get Dancin’ – Disco Tex & His Sex-O-Lettes

Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah – Allan Sherman

Good Morning Starshine – Oliver Cast

Glove Slap – B52s

Jesus Is Just Alright With Me – Doobie Brothers

Insane In The Brain – Cypress Hill

Downtown – Petula Clark

I Want Candy – The Strangeloves

Sugar, Sugar – The Archies

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy – Ohio Express

Baby Come Back – Player

What A Fool Believes – The Doobie Brothers

Up, Up and Away – Fifth Dimension

Feel Like Makin’ Love – Bad Company

Convoy – CW McCall

She Blinded Me With Science – Thomas Dolby

The Hustle – The Van McCoy

I Was Made For Lovin’ You – Kiss

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye – Steam

Pac-Man Fever – Buckner & Garcia

Do You Feel Like We Do (Live) – Peter Frampton

Margaritaville – Jimmy Buffet

Sad Eyes – Robert John

Iron Man – Black Sabbath

Shinin’ On – Grand Funk Railroad

Sweet Emotion – Aerosmith

Uptown Girl – Billy Joel

Take This Job And Shove It – Johnny Paycheck

Thank You For Being A Friend – Andrew Gold

Mr Roboto – Styx

Proud Mary – Tina Turner

Living In America – James Brown

Send In The Clowns – Barbara Streisand

Click here to listen to The Simpsons Spotify Playlist

Tune in at the same time next week for another HecklerPlay playlist.

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Katy Perry can’t dodge controversy at the moment can she? When she’s not watching her spindly husband half-heartedly attacking photographers, she’s trying to give Elmo from Sesame Street and erection.

Yes indeed, Perry has caused a bit of fuss after showing the top bit of her boobs on a children’s show, prompting most people in the world to wonder why the top half of someone’s breasts are more problematic than say, having Piers Morgan’s face on-screen at any given point or allowing children to walk around a world that willingly has Sarah Silverman in it.

Perry has responded to the whole incident by getting them out on Saturday Night Live, which somehow, has got her a cameo spot on The Simpsons (that’s when you know you’ve made it).

After showing too much rack to Elmo (who promptly ran away in disgust – you can see it here), Perry is now gearing up to add to her comedic CV with a hugely coveted guest spot with Homer Simpson et al.

This is in addition to her spot on SNL, which saw Perry jiggling her waps whilst wearing an Elmo t-shirt (see video below).

According to Entertainment Weekly, Perry will guest in a Simpsons Christmas special which will see the residents of Springfield joining her in live action as puppets.

That actually sounds like fun.

Perry will be playing herself and she’ll star as Moe’s girlfriend in an episode entitled “The Fight Before Christmas.”

Executive producer Al Jean says:

“In the wake of Elmo’s terrible betrayal, the Simpsons puppets wish to announce they stand felt-shoulder-to-shoulder with Katy Perry.”

Katy Perry seems to be making more and more inroads into acting at the moment, which is all good practise for when she voices the role of Smurfette in an upcoming Smurfs flick.

What do you make of all her acting gubbins? Should she stick to singing? Hate that as well? Can’t make your mind up? Want us to do that for you?

Idiots.

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When America’s favourite yellow family The Simpsons (sorry liver-diseased The Johnsons of Massachusets) first appeared on our screens back in the 90s, who could have predicted that they would sustain twelve long seasons (and beyond…)?

Yet while this series packs in the laughs, the guest stars and the characters we all know and love, there is something that is starting to smell a bit off  in Springfield.

That is not to say that this is now a bad show. Far from it. In fact, this season packs in more wit and memorable episodes than other shows struggle to over their entire lifetimes. You just have to look at episodes like Trilogy of Error with its take on Run Lola Run mixed with Go. It’s fast, inventive and constantly delivers the laughs in a well-crafted story.

By season 12, The Simpsons started to struggle with what other animated shows have been wrestling with for years – what do you do when The Simpsons has already done everything? It has to take the premise – which usually grounds the episodes in family dilemmas, adolescent struggle and community issues (along with some spot-on social commentary) – and push it into extremes more suited to other shows.

Even the guest stars start to become less well integrated. Instead of having someone appear to play a character (just look back at how good Danny DeVito was as Homer’s brother) they seem to have episodes revolving around people they have signed on to appear – looking at you *NSYNC in New Kids on the Bleech. Sometimes, though, other episodes do a good job of slotting an actor into a role, such as Michael Keaton in Pokey Mom where he plays a convict with artistic talent that Marge takes a shine to. Comparing the two episodes, the latter is clearly a better crafted and funnier episode.

There is still a lot to like with The Simpsons: Season 12 and most of that is due to the familiarity and love that the audience has for the characters. Investing years in their exploits has made the audience feel like extended family members and, while they may be starting to show their age a bit with the musty smell of dried urine and the wrinkles of better times all over their face, we’d rather spend our Sunday afternoons with them than anybody else.

Although The Simpsons takes its time to come to DVD, it’s not really a problem considering the care and attention that goes into each DVD release. This season is no exception, featuring a wealth of extras including commentaries, deleted and extended scenes, behind the scenes footage and trailers galore. The commentaries (on every episode) are constantly entertaining and never a bore.

If you want to laugh, feel happy and spend roughly 500 minutes of your life having fun with one of the best (if not the best) television shows ever made, this is the DVD for you. It may not be on the top of its game any more but it certainly wipes the floor with most of those other, less jaundiced, television shows.

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For those of you who worry that it’s not as funny as it used to be, relax - The Simpsons has just got hilarious.

Bart Simpson has started actively promoting Scientology! Genius! If that’s not up there with Cape Feare and “If it isn’t my old friend Mr McGregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg” then we’ll be buggered. Bart Simpson? Urging people by phone to attend Scientology events? LOL!!

Hang on, that isn’t Bart Simpson? That’s Nancy Cartwright using Bart Simpson’s voice as a geniune, real-life Scientology promotional tool? Why, that’s considerably less funny.

You know what winds us up more than anything? Cool Scientologists. Don’t people realise that Scientology is the religion for celebrity bellends and nobody else? That’s why Tom Cruise is a Scientologist. And Kirstie Alley. And that annoying rasping midget from The King Of Queens. Scientology suits them because they’re all bellends.

But Beck? Isaac Hayes? That bloke from My Name Is Earl (before My Name Is Earl got rubbish)? That’s not good – we sort of like some stuff that those men have intermittently done. But there is no Scientologist on the face of the Earth more disappointing than Bart Simpson.

OK, not Bart Simpson per se – Nancy Cartwright, the actress responsible for Bart Simpson’s voice is the Scientologist. Which is completely fine – if we were a 51-year-old woman who’d spent the last two decades pretending to be a little boy, we’d probably start believing in evil aliens who packed people into jumbo jets millions of years ago, dropped them into volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs as well – so long as she doesn’t, you know, drag Bart Simpson into any of this.

Because, frankly, Bart Simpson has been used to sell enough as it is. Having Bart Simpson T-shirts, air fresheners, bumper stickers, keyrings, dolls and underwear shoved down our throats is bad enough, but a Bart Simpson-endorsed cultish pseudo-religion based on the writings of a tenth-rate sci-fi novelist might just be a step too far.

Which is a shame, because Nancy Cartwright has gone and done it anyway. E! Online reports on the weird Scientology robocalls that Nancy Cartwright has been recording:

[Nancy] advertises her current auditing level—new OT VII—and invites recipients of the message to the church’s Flag World Tour event Jan. 31 in Hollywood, at which Cartwright is scheduled to speak… The message begins with her saying, “Yo, what’s happenin’ man, this is Bart Simpson. Haha. Just kidding, don’t hang up, this is Nancy Cartwright… It’s gonna be a blast, man,” she teases, sounding like Bart again.

Videos of this call were all over YouTube until recently, until Fox yanked them all off citing breach of copyright. So if posting a video of an unofficial Bart Simpson telephone message is breach of copyright, then it’ll be interesting to see how much Fox considers the act of recording an unofficial Bart Simpson telephone call to be breach of contract.

Because, really, Nancy Cartwright desperately promoting her silly little religion by using the voice of Bart Simpson doesn’t exactly strike us as being particularly ethical. In fact, we’d go further than that – you’d have to be a complete nimrod to sign up to Scientology on the basis of a crappy Bart Simpson telephone message.

Now, Ralph Wiggum – different story. We’d literally bum Xenu silly for a message from Ralph Wiggum.

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Venezuela sucks.

Hey, don’t get mad at us! We’re just saying what everyone is thinking. Venezuela is totally lagging behind its South American counterparts. They don’t even have a body hair wax treatment named after them. Losers. Their children are corrupt, too. It must be because they have The Simpsons on during daytime television programming. Well, no more! Venezuela has pulled The Simpsons because it is unsuitable for children, and replaced it with Baywatch Hawaii.

Good. The sooner the children stop being corrupted and start learning unrealistic beauty standards and uncreative, predictable plot-lines, the better.

If you’re still reading you are, no doubt, just as outraged as we are, but it’s true. Venezuelan officials have declared The Simpsons to be in danger of violating the country’s Law of Social Responsibility in Radio and Television, and say that the show is not acceptable for young children.

Whoa whoa whoa. Let’s take this one issue at a time. Venezuela has television?? So not just shaved dogs dancing on their hind legs while a blind man plays the spoons in the village square like we’ve always been led to believe, then. Okay, good to know.

But moving on… The Simpsons? Not acceptable for young children? That’s shocking. What isn’t suitable about Homer dressing up as a giant salamander that blocks the fire exit in a burning auditorium full of children and later squeezing tennis balls out of his bum? We’re so confused.

Apparently, people running Televen, the station that broadcasts The Simpsons, believe that Baywatch Hawaii is a more suitable alternative to brilliant satire and wit wrapped up with delightful bodily function jokes and swearing. Televen spokeswoman Elba Guillen said that The Simpsons is:

“messages that go against the whole education of boys, girls and adolescents.”

Of course it does. That’s why we love it. That’s why we call it ‘mother’.

Replacing The Simpsons with Baywatch Hawaii is probably a good move on Venezuela’s part, actually. There is obviously nowhere else in South America that children are going to learn about the importance of tanned, sparingly clad, large-bosomed women running on the beach than on TV. Plus, it’s not like the ratings were any good with The Simpsons. Oh, wait. This quote from Televen station general manager Perez Nahim may possibly negate that last sentence:

“We are hoping it will continue to have a good rating, because The Simpsons worked very well—so much so that it had the highest levels of viewership for that morning timetable in the history of the channel.”

Well, then kudos for taking it off the air! Heaven forbid a child’s parents should regulate what is seen in the home. Screw the ratings! Everyone knows child education is all about watching Baywatch Hawaii and a tanned David Hasselhoff trying to run on the beach while sucking in his gut, anyway.

Read more:

Venezuela Beaches Homer for the Hoff – E! Online