The Runaways - HecklerSpray

Kristen Stewart Sort Of Pretends To Be A Lesbian Again

March 17th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

The stars of Twilight are starting to realise that breaking away from Twilight will be harder than they thought.

Look at Robert Pattinson. His new film Remember Me limped into the lower quarters of the weekend box office on Sunday precisely because he wasn’t playing a creepy old vampire who keeps trying to have it off with schoolgirls. And, admit it, it’s only a matter of time before Taylor Lautner gives up acting to become a full-time dancer for gay chatline commercials.

But Kristen Stewart? She knows that the only way to secure an audience for herself post-Twilight is to dabble in half-hearted lesbianism every now and then. That’s why – ahead of her new film where she kisses Dakota Fanning – Kristen Stewart has called Lady Gaga ‘hot’. It’s controversial – not because of the lesbian implications, but because only an idiot would think that Lady Gaga is hot.

Kristen Stewart Discusses Her Dakota Fanning Kissy Kiss

January 26th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

That Kristen Stewart is such a lucky girl – she gets to kiss all the hotties. Robert Pattinson. Taylor Lautner.

Dakota Fanning. Honestly, she’s – hang on! Dakota Fanning? The creepy four-year-old from War Of The Worlds? What the hell is Kristen Stewart doing kissing Dakota Fanning? Doesn’t she realise that Dakota Fanning a) is a girl, b) is about four years old and c) permanently carries the grim, haunted expression of a girl who’s just been asked to show a policeman where daddy touched her on a doll?

Oh, it was all for a non-Twilight related film? Phew, that’s good news. At least this way nobody will actually end up seeing it.

Kristen Stewart’s The Runaways Trailer: Decoded!

December 18th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The Runaways is an important film for Kristen Stewart – it’s her chance to show that there’s more to her than sparkly vampires.

It’s important for Dakota Fanning, too. But for different reasons. You see, if the newly-released The Runaways trailer is anything to go by, the film is Dakota Fanning’s chance to prove that she can waggle her boobs around in an unsettlingly sexy piece of lingerie. That’s Dakota Fanning. Who, last time we checked, was about four years old. Yikes.

You can watch the new The Runaways trailer after the jump – complete with full hecklerspray scene-by-scene analysis – but remember: if you do watch it, you’ll probably end up on some sort of pervert register. She’s four years old, for crying out loud.