The hype surrounding the new Batman film (Batman 3 or The Dark Knight Rises… it’s up to you what you call it) is getting bigger and bigger, with the entire world stalking its every movement.

Seriously. No other film has been as spied on during the shoot like this one has.

And there’s more of it. And it’s great. How about a giant fight scene, a video of Batman and Bane going at it and a sneak peak of Catwoman on a motorbike? If you’re crying ‘YES PLEASE!’, then get yourself over the jump.

This new footage, spotted all over YouTube, was shot at Wall Street in New York City.

In one video, you can see Batman (Christian Bale) and Bane (Tom Hardy) having a punch-up in the middle of a giganto riot. That’s exciting enough in itself.

In another vid, you can see the sheer size of the production with a huge scrap.

Then, lastly, there’s a video of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman on some monstrous bike, bombing down the road.

It’s all very exciting. Here’s the videos for you to look at. Batman 3 is going to be AMAZING.

Hopefully.

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Batman: The Dark Knight Rises, is probably the most highly anticipated film release floating around the ether at the moment. The superhero genre has been revitalised by the brooding adventures of Bruce Wayne and everyone is intrigued as to how the whole thing will wrap up.

As such, each little morsel and near-set fanvid has been met with many a watering mouth.

And here’s the news: it’s pretty much a certainty that Christopher Nolan’s revamp will be getting shown in six-minute prologues in various cinemas at Christmas time. BUT WHERE? Well…

The Dark Knight Rises is going to play before IMAX showings of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (which is going to be a steaming pile of dreck, no doubt), which is a similar move to when the Joker was revealed to cinema audiences before IMAX screenings of I Am Legend in 2008.

AMC released a statement on their blog (which they’ve since taken down) that read:

“The six-minute Dark Knight Rises prologue footage will only be shown on the higher resolution 70mm IMAX screens. Not the digital IMAX screens. Locations haven’t been confirmed yet, so stay tuned for an update on AMC Theatre locations that will be showing the prologue Dark Knight Rises footage at a 70mm IMAX screen nearest you.”

Of course, this hi-res business means that the clip will show in far fewer cinemas, but it’ll invariably end up online, so you won’t miss out AND you won’t have to watch Mission: Impossible.

Either way, everyone is getting excited about it. And so are we. And we’re cynical about ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

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Catwoman, oh Catwoman. Good looking, sexy and kinky in the ’60s and regrettably less-so from the ’90s onward, you are going to return to our pathetic lives in your figure-hugging suit with your wily charms and depraved purring.

But we’re slightly worried. Anne Hathaway is the new Catwoman and we’re not sure we’ve ever seen her in a role that convinces us that she’ll be able to vamp it up enough for Batman 3, or The Dark Knight Rises to give it the proper title.

Does she look the part? Well, there’s some pictures of her on-set with Christian Bale and Gary Oldman. Make your own ‘purr’ jokes like ‘purrfect’, ‘purrlease!’ and such.

Hathaway has bemoaned that her Catwoman jumpsuit is ‘unforgiving’, and in the leaked snaps, it seems she’s been working out incredibly hard to stay in it.

Of course, Anne will be donning the suit next to Christian Bale who once again plays the Bruce Wayne and still completely fails to buy any Lockets for his ravaged voice. Also still bumbling along is Gary Oldman who will once more be playing police chief James Gordon.

Mercifully, Hathaway won’t be trying to do a Yorkshire accent in Dark Knight Rises, which of course, saw the actress roundly hooted at in the film version of One Day.

Anyway, you don’t care about all that just yet because you’re far more interested in seeing a tall, slender woman wearing an impossible outfit so you can either have lusty thoughts or, worse still, judge yourself against it despite the fact it isn’t real life.

Well done you. Here’s the photographs of Anne Hathaway in a Catwoman outfit from Dark Knight Rises.

Images via JustJared, obviously

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Oooh, Batman! You think you’re sooooo cool don’t you? With your Kryptonite and truth lasso. You ain’t all that. You’re just some rich kid with a load of gadgets. You may as well be one of the girls from Something For The Weekend.

If you should end up on SFTW, do us a favour and give Tim Lovejoy a pasting wouldya?

Speaking of gadgets though, last week, we showed you a sneaky peaky of the Batwing that will star in Batman 3/Dark Knight Rises. You couldn’t see much of it and it was a little disappointing. However, for you Batfans, there’s another video which has surfaced which is much more revealing.

One of our readers – they’re called ‘fuel’ – sent us a video of the new Batwing and this time, you can get a really good look at it.

Like all the vehicles from the Batman films (well, from the ’90s onward at least), it’s another hulking great beetle of a thing, all black and looking like a detail from Massive Attack’s ‘Mezzanine’ album.

We still prefer Batman’s car from the ’60s really. It looked like something you’d see in a drag race!

Anyway, there’s still things to be edited out in post-production, there’s no question of that… but if you can use your imagination, here’s a video of the newest Batwing.

Batfans, start masturbating whenever you see fit.

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Emo wet-dream, Batman is coming back to the cinema screens all growly and grunty, in The Dark Knight Rises, complete with hipster approved cast members, Gary Oldman, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tom Hardy.

It’s just short of having a chest-tattoo, loafers with no socks on and a one-speed racer.

Speaking of vehicles, Batman 3 with feature the Batwing and, over the jump, we’ve got a video of it which should either disappoint you enormously or, indeed, make you soil yourself with a massive nerdgasm.

Naturally, being stubborn simpletons, we preferred Batman when he was wooden, camp and armed with a utility belt which held the most preposterous items like ‘Shark Repellent Spray’ and such.

However, this massively successful Christopher Nolan remix has proved our opinions to be massively unpopular.

Anyway, some div with a camera was perving around 6th Street Bridge in downtown Los Angeles and spotted the shoot of the new film, with the Batwing bombing around beneath it.

It appears that the vehicle is like a Harrier Jump Jet, able to use boosters to fling itself into the air like some horrible farting robot.

You don’t care about that though. You want a sneaky-peak at anything you can concerning this wretched film… so have it.

Watch your stupid video. See if we care.

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Tom Hardy, who stars as baddie Bane in the new Batman flick, has been a little cool on the whole project talking about its likeness to Starbucks and bleating something about ’boutiques’.  However, he seems to be relenting a bit after making an admission about his character.

He recently admitted that he thought his character in The Dark Knight Rises was ‘f*cking cool’.

Hardy also added, with no specific, pin-pointable accent, that Batfans would not be disappointed by the third and final installment of this particular wing of the franchise. And to get you a little more exited, there’s a couple of videos where you can see them in action having a big punch up.

Hardy says:

“All I can say is that Chris (Nolan) has a plan up his sleeve that’s not at all disappointing. And that is a definite choice that’s watertight in every respect”

“I think Bane’s f*cking cool so I’m really excited to play him. It’s not the guy in Joel Schumacher’s film, but it shouldn’t disappoint fanboys.”

We’re sure that Batfans will find something to be disappointed with, whereas us popcorn munchers can thrill at this new breed of socially acceptable action films that have just enough edge to be cool enough to like.

Of course, The Dark Knight Rises will be released July 20, 2012… and here are those videos we promised. There’s shot of Batman on set as well as a gigantic punch-up… we can only imagine what is going on.

There’s not a KAPOW! in sight, sadly.

BATMAN ON SET

BIG FIGHT

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Tom Hardy, a man of no fixed accent, is of course playing a nasty villain called Bane in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Batman circle jerk, The Dark Knight Rises. You’d think he was pretty pleased at this well paying gig, right?

Well, not wholly. See, it seems that Hardy is looking lovingly at some indie roles because working on Batman is like working in a Starbucks.

Is that because of… er… the amount of Americanos working on the film? Is it because the Dark Knight set is… er… well venti-lated. It’s hard making jokes about Starbucks because it’s so cripplingly dull. Anyway, what does Hardy mean?

He says, sounding like every human on Earth simultaneously:

‘These movies are huge vehicles to make a lot of money… and make a large audience happy. So now you’re at the very top level of trying to bring character work in a boutique way to something that is, you know, Starbucks”

Character work in a boutique way? Anyone? Is he talking about the Mad Max film he’s in? Or that Bronson one? We’re completely confused. Confused and tired.

“You deal with something like Dark Knight – or ‘Mad Max,’ or ‘Superman’ or ‘Spider-man,’ whatever – it’s like going to work in an airport and going, ‘Hi I’m over here!’ and then everybody goes ‘Oh here’s that, that’s the villain of the piece.’ Then it’s a thousand people going to Duty-Free. Like, [shouting] ‘I AM THE VILLAIN!’ and make a lot of noise.

“There’s a formula here, you can’t muck around with it. There’s a lot of rules, you’re restrained in many ways as an artist. But then you’re also grateful because of the huge exposure and the paycheck.”

At least he’s being honest about the glee of accepting large amounts of money.

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Following on from the cultural apocalypse of The Manchester International Festival comes Batman Live; another intellectual tour-de-force which sees everyone’s favourite schizophrenic do battle with a bunch of villains for two-and-a-bit hours at the glamorously named Manchester Evening News Arena.

It’s worth noting, straight-out-the-gate, that this isn’t really a story about The Dark Knight (old Bruce gets all of three words in during the first half) and, if we were being pedantic, Batman Live really should be called Robin & A Bit Of Batman Thrown In To Sell Some T-Shirts.

Really, Batman Live is a story about Robin (arguably the most soporific character since Dr. Snoozy Time – a fictional character created for the sake of this article) and for the majority of the show, we’re treated to the world according to the Boy Wonder; his likes, dislikes, favourite colour and preferential pizza topping. Straight away, It’s frustrating to watch as, mainly, we just want to hang out with Batman, watch him punch people in the jaw and then drive off in the Batmobile to pick up women. Instead, we get Dick Grayson rolling about the stage making enthusiastic ‘gee-whizz’ noises.

Even then, what we do see of The Dark Knight is rather tame. This isn’t the snarling creation of Christoper Nolan and no-one in Batman Live gets dropped from a tall building or bashed in the skull with a Bat Bat. In Batman Live, Bruce Wayne is a bit of a wet fish.

Imagine Michael Keaton as the warm-up act to a promenade Punch and Judy show and you’re halfway there; the first proper fight scene, reminiscent of the scraps in Team America, sees the caped crusader and Catwoman swing around in the air stroking each other’s faces.

It’s frustrating because Batman is such an interesting character and it seems a waste to limit the stage-time of one of the most iconic superheroes in favour of the irritating sidekick.

Despite the most devious roster of antagonists since a Commons Select Committee hearing, our time with The Riddler, Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy and The Scarecrow is limited to three minutes a pop. And it’s a shame, because what we do get is quality meat. There’s a great scene in Arkharm Asylum which sees a 12-foot Scarecrow freak the crap out of Batman, while the chap who plays Penguin has sinister dripping from his oily pores. This isn’t to say that the show’s primary villain, The Joker, isn’t good (in fact, he’s rather decent), but it rather seems a waste to shoehorn these iconic villains into the show for a mere two-minute cameo.

But Batman Live does have its moments. Spectacular moments. Scene changes take place via a comic-book animation on the giant screen behind the stage (basically, it’s geek catnip to those who religiously follow the series) and there are some very nifty special effects; a bazooka blows a hole into a giant balloon shaped like The Joker, while the demise of The Graysons (and their acrobatic antics beforehand) is heart-in-mouth stuff. The appearance of the Batmobile is also a nice moment and watching it drive around stage is always going to be special stuff.

Batman Live is an excellent show, it really is. The stages are great, the fight scenes are choreographed to the second and you can tell a lot of money has been thrown behind the whole thing (it’s touring across the globe over the next five years). It is a solid two-and-a-half hours of silly entertainment and you should all go.

But, it’s not really Batman. Not our Batman, anyway.

As an audience, we’ve grown familiar with tortured, sucks-to-be-me Batman. We expect him to growl, swear and kick people in the face; the re-boot of the film franchise has convinced us that this type of behaviour is how Batman acts. Batman Live has having none of that – it’s an homage to the days of Adam West and George Clooney; where the joker bursts out of a jack-in-the-box and Catwoman uses purring as a type of foreplay. Kerpow! and all that jazz.

And there’s nothing particularly wrong with this sort of Batman (and for a kid’s show it probably couldn’t work any other way). Although, if you’re looking for a good time down the gritty streets of Gotham, you’re likely to be disappointed.

This was a guest review from the formidable Tom Mason who has calves to die for and a face that could arouse Chief Commissioner Gordon.

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In about a year’s time, there’ll be a new Batman film for us all to get thoroughly excited about. Of course, it’ll largely be the same as the previous two Christopher Nolan directed films, with Batman needing a lozenge and Gotham City indulging in a constant, half-lit gloom.

BUT IT WILL BE BRILLIANT YEAH BECAUSE BATMAN IS WELL MOODY INNIT AND BETTER THAN ALL THAT HARRY POTTER RUBBISH, YEAH?

And now, we’ve got the first teaser of The Dark Knight Rises, which will be the final instalment of Nolan’s hoarse trilogy. There’s going to be a lot of explosions and people cooing about how good it would have been if Heath Ledger had lived. Which he didn’t. Because he’s dead like a sucker.

The reel teases you scumbags with the two elements of The Dark Knight Rises.

It kicks off with a voiceover from by Liam ‘Qui Gon Jinn’ Neeson…

“If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, then you become something else entirely. A legend, Mr. Wayne, a legend.”

Then he says ‘Beam me up Scotty’ or something.

Then, Batman’s ol’ buddy ol’ pal, Commissioner Gordon, gets in on the action…

“We were in this together, and then you were gone. And now this evil rises. The Batman has to come back.”

Of course, Tom Hardy is in there with Christian Bale and it is all terrifically dramatic and all that gunk. Looks like Gotham City is going to crumble in some ultradoom apocalyptic thingummy, all backed by the Bat Symbol.

No sign of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman and Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marion Cotillard as yet, but there’ll be more teasers released in good time for you saps to jerk one off over.

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Ooooh! Squeee! Joseph Gordon-Levitt is totally, like, the thinking woman’s crumpet right? He seems kinda smart and he’s got that face which is totally hot. NOT IN A CONVENTIONAL WAY THOUGH! He’s like, hot in a slightly not conventional way.

He’s such a dreamboat! He’s like that Michael Cera chap with added handsomeness. Cute, smart, kinda funny! Oooh! We bet he’s even got a record player and plays an acoustic guitar at home. He’s ever so slightly different from those other guys!

And now, women who now claim they liked him best in 3rd Rock From The Sun when in actual fact they preferred the slanty eyed camp one who looks and acts exactly like the alien in American Dad, can start wringing their scads of arousal as the news comes in that Joseph will be in The Dark Knight Rises.

So what will the slightly-not-like-the-other-pin-up-men-of-Hollywood be doing in The Dark Knight Rises?

Will he be awkwardly falling for a woman universally approved by the hipsters of Tumblr? Will he look straight down the camera and kinda bite his lip in a goofy manner, but in a way that implies he’s accomplished in the sack?

No! He’s a baddie! He’ll probably be all broody and take his top off to show his gym-honed physique, even though the women who fancy him don’t normally go for gym-bunnies… BUT IT’S JOEY GORDO LEVITATION! HE’S KINDA DIFFERENT! HE’S NOT VAIN VAIN! HE’S WAY TOO COOL FOR THAT? RIGHT GIRLS?!

OH SWOON! OH SWOON! OH SWOON! OH SWOON! OH SWOON!

So who is he playing?

Not that anyone other than mentally deficient comic book fans and sallow film nerds will care, but he’ll be doing a turn as Alberto Falcone in Christopher Nolan’s highly anticipated trilogy closer.

Alberto is the son of some mob boss called Carmine Falcone who was played by Tom Wilkinson in Batman Begins.

BUT  WE DON’T CARE ABOUT TOM WILKINSON! WE WANT TO SEE JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT WITH A CUT LIP AFTER HE’S BEEN IN A HOMOEROTIC PUNCH-UP WITH BATMAN!

Also, if you fancied Heath Ledger but he went and died on you, you can start getting aroused by Levitt because he pretty much owns the same face.

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You know how Heath Ledger is dead? Like, properly dead? Dead like Michael Jackson as opposed to Elvis (no-one has ‘spotted’ him flipping burgers or selling smokes to minors)? Well, bafflingly, he might be in the next Batman film.

You heard. Heath ‘Is Dead’ Ledger is to star in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’.

Of course, fans have been scratching their stinkin’ fat heads wondering who the villain in the film will be. Everyone’s looking at Tom Hardy and thinking he might be the bad guy. Or Catwoman. Yeah, he’s going to be Catwoman. But what about Ledger?

It looks like Heath will be appearing in the film as a cameo. That’s not to say he’ll have a red cod piece on and start singing ‘Word Up’. No, the rumour says that Christopher Nolan is planning on bringing Joker back for his ‘The Dark Knight’ sequel.

An insider, who may well be an outrageous liar, said:

“The idea is to use these fragments of cut scenes and use CGI to have The Joker appear one last time.”

“Chris wants some continuity between movies and for the franchise to pay tribute to Heath and his portrayal of the Joker.”

Mercifully, any appearance by Ledger will be short (how awful would it be if he featured extensively, waddling around like Jar Jar Binks?) and that the Joker’s return “would only be a fleeting moment in the movie.”

Of course, Nolan has said previously that he has no plans to return to the Joker, which doesn’t help this rumour and of course, there’s the small matter of squaring all this up with Ledger’s family.

Now, if there is any truth in all of this, what do you think of it? Is there any acceptable way to bring back the Joker without it being completely tasteless?

Should Nolan just choose another baddie and have done with it?

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The new Batman films have been ace. They’ve straddled the line of edgy and dumb-ass perfectly. Basically, they’ve been action flicks for people who like to think they’re too smart for ‘em. Wise move.

And there’s been a lot of anticipation over the imminent movie, which we’ve been referring to as ‘Batman 3′, just to wind up Batfans. And it worked.

However, today marks the last day when we can call it that because director Christopher Nolan has finally got ’round to giving the film a name and it will be called ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. If you read the headline, you knew that already.

So, if he’s giving out the title, he’s probably giving out more information about the project, right?

Not a chance. The director is keeping everything else about the next instalment under wraps because he’s a horrible little tease. The film, which is due in theatres in 2012, did let out one hint on the villain for fanboys:

“It won’t be The Riddler.”

“We’ll use many of the same characters as we have all along, and we’ll be introducing some new ones.”

What does that mean? Are we getting a Batgirl? The last one, Alicia Silverstone, was dreadful and cutesy and you’d certainly need someone with a bit more sass… but Batgirl seems a bit gimmicky for Nolan.

And it appears that Nolan won’t be filming in 3D. He’s not keen on the idea and he’s saying that Warner Bros. agree with him.

Instead, he’ll be opting for high-definition and Imax cameras.

So if there’s no Riddler, who will the villain be in the new movie? There are mutterings about a return of Two Face. There’s also rumours that Killer Croc could make an appearance as news was leaked that filming may take place in New Orleans (and the swampy bits down there would be perfect for a crocodile story). However, ‘Killer Croc’ is a really, really shitty name for a villain.

As it’s Halloween, we could put forward Scarecrow… but we’re hoping for something of a curve ball here, and are looking toward Professor Pyg, a schizophrenic with an obsession with making people perfect. He attaches doll faces to victims and uses cordless drills, hammers and icepicks to do it.

As one of Batman’s most demented and downright weird arch-enemies, it’d be great to see him feature and riff on the whole ‘quest for perfection’ that the media currently has. Will it happen? Probably not, but if it does, we’re claiming this as our idea.

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First the good news: it seems likely that the Batman 3 casting rumours can end now. Are you ready for the bad news?

The bad news is that Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. We’ve deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy.

But it’s not all bad, because it’s not as if he’s also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?

Casting Batman 3 was always going to pose a problem for Christopher Nolan. The Dark Knight was such a massive success that the logical thing to do would be to bring back the same villains for the sequel. The problem with that plan, though, is that one of the baddies died onscreen and the other one died in real life.

So all Christopher Nolan had to start Batman 3 with was Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and a man with a stupid voice being chased by some dogs like a great big morally-ambiguous sausage. And that’s how the great Batman 3 casting rumours started. Several names were all thrown into the pot, but none of them stuck. Here’s why:

Angelina Jolie as Catwoman – Would have contractually requested a sequence where Batman goes to Darfur and weeps for 30 minutes.

Johnny Depp as The Riddler – Will Batman 3 be a) directed by Tim Burton or b) an impenetrable kid’s film? No? Well there’s your answer.

Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin – Philip Seymour Hoffman in a popular film? Whatever next?

Cher as Catwoman – Not even Christopher Nolan wants audiences to leave the cinema covered in vomit and eye-blood because they’ve seen Cher’s latex-covered vulva in close-up on an Imax screen.

Actually, the real reason none of the above were cast for Batman 3 is simple – it’s because Christopher Nolan had a secret wishlist that was far, far shittier. How shit? Shia LaBeouf shit. Eddie Murphy shit. The Sun reports:

Funnyman Eddie Murphy will play The Riddler in the next Batman movie, The Sun can reveal. The Beverly Hills Cop star, 47, has been signed up by British director Christopher Nolan. Execs have also signed up rising Transformers star Shia LaBeouf, 22, to play Robin. Meanwhile, Brit Rachel Weisz is said to be up for the Catwoman role.

Now, OK, we can see Rachel Weisz as Catwoman in Batman 3, because she’s very clearly lovely. But didn’t Christian Bale say that he’d be ‘chaining himself up and refusing to work‘ if Robin appeared in the sequel to The Dark Knight? And Eddie Murphy? Eddie Murphy? Eddie titting Murphy?

Obviously The Sun‘s report should be taken with a pinch of salt at the moment, partly because nothing has been officially confirmed and partly because Eddie Murphy was referred to with the prefix ‘funnyman’ as opposed to the technically more accurate ‘woefully unfunny dickmunch’. But still, what if the rumours are true?

If Eddie Murphy really is going to be The Riddler in Batman 3, then we’ve whittled down the movie’s storyline to three possible options:

1 – Batman 3 won’t just feature The Riddler played by Eddie Murphy, but also The Riddler’s mother, father, obese girlfriend and racist stereotypical Chinaman neighbour, all also played by Eddie Murphy.

2 - Batman 3 will be about Batman chasing The Riddler to take a DNA test because he knocked up a Spice Girl and denied the baby was his. The movie ends with Batman catching The Riddler in a honeytrap sting involve a transvestite prostitute.

3 - In Batman 3 everyone sits around puzzled by the fact that they’ve actually become slightly nostalgic for Jim Carrey, something none of them thought they would ever do.

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