Mel Gibson. It’s the measure of a man’s charm when you can behave as badly as he has and still be quite so popular. On the one alleged hand you have alleged infidelity, alleged domestic abuse, alleged anti-semitism, alleged alcoholism, and the first mainstream S&M film to claim the moral high ground.

On the other hand you have Mad Max 2 and drunkenly calling a cop ‘sugar tits’, which whilst being morally repugnant, was comedically pleasing.

Go on admit it. You’d like a call a policewoman ‘sugar tits’ wouldn’t you? Consequences and a century of feminist progression be damned!

Anyway the reason we have an excuse to talk Gibson again is that he has landed a role in The Hangover 2. How do we know this?

Because Jodie Foster told us.

Well she told someone and then eventually we found out. So what can we learn from this? Firstly, that they’re making a sequel to The Hangover, a film whose popularity bemused us since it was ‘quite funny’, but everyone else seemed to think it was ‘hilarious’.

Secondly, that Jodie Foster must also think calling someone ‘sugar tits’ is quite funny too, and she is an incredible woman on a lot of different levels.

According to Agent Starling, Gibson is “the most loved man in the film business” which would seem a bit of a stretch even taking into consideration his gift for introducing inventive breast-related insults into the common lexicon.

Tom Hanks must be smarting a little, surely? What’s a man got to do to achieve Gibson-like popularity? Perhaps he’s actually been doing a Joaquin Phoenix-style art prank the whole time (albeit one that wasn’t a complete waste of time). He’s certainly more convincing- he didn’t just grow a beard and get fucked up.

He grew a beard, got fucked up and made a movie in Mayan for god’s sake.

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The Golden Globes took place last night, and over the course of the evening there was a little something for everyone.

Like being told what stuff to enjoy? Then you’ll be pleased to know that Avatar, The Hangover, Robert Downey Jr, Meryl Streep and Glee all won awards. Like the old Golden Globes traditions? Then you’ll be pleased to know that the camera kept cutting to Jack Nicholson‘s face, even though he continues his slow transformation into a rascally sphere of pulsating cholesterol.

And then there was the Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais. If you like Ricky Gervais, you’ll be pleased to know that his performance was nothing short of a comic masterclass. Don’t like Ricky Gervais? Then you’ll be pleased to know that he was absolutely rubbish. Apparently.

The Golden Globes has a reputation for being a loosey-goosey cousin to the Oscars. Sure, it might act as an important bellwether for anyone keen on predicting Oscar winners, but it doesn’t take itself too seriously – acceptance speeches are drowned out by the sound of millionaires drinking champagne, Jack Nicholson will inevitably get his bum out and Sharon Stone can often be seen wafting about looking unsure of how to interact with anything. Which tends to be the case anywhere Sharon Stone goes, admittedly, but at the Golden Globes at least she does it in a pretty dress.

But ahead of last night’s Golden Globes, there were two main questions on everybody’s lips – who would win, and would Ricky Gervais be amazing or terrible as host? Let’s address those one at a time.

1 - Avatar ended up winning Best Drama, The Hangover won Best Comedy, Robert Downey Jr won for Sherlock Holmes, Sandra Bullock won for The Blind Side, Jeff Bridges won for Crazy Heart and Meryl Streep won for Julie & Julia. That last prize was in the coveted Boring, Needlessly Complicated Films About Unlikeable People Doing Mediocre Things, Often In A Silly Voice category. Presumably.

2 - He was both.

No, really, Ricky Gervais was amazing and terrible. It just depends who you listen to. Take Radar, for instance – this is how it described Ricky Gervais last night:

British funnyman Ricky Gervais, was on fire Sunday bringing the laughs from the audience with a risque and hilarious introduction, taking time to make digs at NBC and their ongoing Leno/Conan fiasco, a theme of the night at the awards show and on the red carpet.

While ABC, on the other hand, opted for a different stance. Working under the headline Ricky Gervais Falls Flat At Golden Globes, it said:

Gervais’… opening minutes were disappointingly toothless. He tackled predictable subjects: satirizing self-promotion by plugging DVDs for his own creations; tossing off banal generalities about the unimportance of actors; small-penis yuks, and of course, NBC potshots. But Gervais flew through all of them so fast he didn’t land a blow, let alone draw blood.

So there you have it. Ricky Gervais was hilarious and crap at the same time, often during the course of the same joke. So now you know what to say when anybody asks you what you thought of him. Alternatively, you could have just watched the Golden Globes ceremony in its entirety and formed your own opinion about him. But you’re not an animal, are you?

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Winners and losers.

Folded:

• The Hangover (out now on DVD and funnier than a dog with no legs)
• Be original; buy a BlackBerry (get the different one)
• The Thick of It (so many put downs you’ll wish you were back at school)
• Eggnog latte (from Starbucks where the staff are a hell of a lot nicer than the customers)
• Hair wax (shiny)

Creased:

• Putting up Christmas decorations (more fun than taking them down, but still less enjoyable than sitting around doing nothing)
• Be boring; buy an iPhone (get the better one)
• Poor Malcolm Tucker (dark, less funny times are ahead)
• Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? (don’t know who your father is? You now have Alesha as your spokeswoman. How d’you feel about that?)
• Hair gel (greasy)

If we had to describe I Know Who Killed Me in one word, that word would be ‘potential’.

And Georgia Rule? ‘Potential’. And, dear sweet baby Jesus, Labor Pains? That thing very obviously had potential coming out of its arse. But The Hangover, the biggest comedy movie of the summer that’s so far taken over $270 million worldwide and has reignited Heather Graham‘s previously-dormant career? Ugh. That thing’s got zero potential. It’s the anti-potential. It repels potential.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wonderful world of Lindsay Lohan‘s genuinely demented thought processes. Don’t stay here too long – it’s terrifying.

Now The Hangover was good and all – the bit with the tiger was funny, and Mike Tyson stole all the scenes he was in, and it’s brilliant that Zach Galifianakis has finally found the recognition he deserves – but it seems to us like it was missing something.

Sure, it was fine. But the addition of a rasping, emaciated, ginger sort-of-lesbian with an alarming preoccupation with her own vulva and an acting method that involves flatly reading lines off a cue card in between constant drags on industrial-strength cigarettes? Now that would have taken The Hangover to the next level. But sadly it wasn’t to be – according to reports, Lindsay Lohan was offered Heather Graham’s role in The Hangover, but she turned it down because… well, she turned it down because she’s an idiot. Who are we kidding? Us Weekly reports:

Lindsay Lohan declined the role of stripper Jade in The Hangover after declaring the screenplay “had no potential.” A source tells Us that director Todd Phillips approached Lohan to star in the hit flick after their mutual agent campaigned on the actress’ behalf. “The agent tried hard to get Phillips to consider her, and when he finally agreed, Lindsay said she didn’t like the script!”

Of course she turned The Hangover down. Don’t these people know the boxes that a film needs to tick to appeal to Lindsay Lohan? First, is the main supporting character a magical winking car? Will Lindsay Lohan get to play at least two different versions of herself in it? Does the ending make absolutely no sense whatsoever? And, most importantly, will the movie skip a theatrical release and go straight to cable? Because unless the answer to at least three of those questions is yes, Lindsay Lohan isn’t even going to bother reading your stupid little script.

You know, this reminds of that time that Vivien Leigh turned down Gone With The Wind because she didn’t like the colour of the dress that she was expected to wear. Oh, wait, no – no, that didn’t happen, did it? Because Vivien Leigh wasn’t a colossal idiot.

Anyway, we’re personally quite thankful that Lindsay Lohan turned down The Hangover. Because it would have probably made her a viable star again, and if she was acting in films, who’d be left to stumble around outside nightclubs starting fights with everyone all the time? Nobody, that’s who.

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Wow. What a year for comedy it’s been. Arguably one of the most successful weekend box office movies of the summer has been The Hangover.

What’s more, there have been guaranteed blockbusters like Land Of The Lost and, um… oh, alright, it hasn’t been much of year for comedy at the weekend box office. Shut up. However, this weekend two comedy heavyweights went up against each other in direct box office competition – Year One and The Proposal. Who won? It’s a secret.

Oh alright, The Proposal did. But only because it was marginally less rubbish than Year One. Shut up.

Of course The Proposal is the weekend box office number one. American audiences love Sandra Bullock. You always know exactly what you’re going to get with Sandra Bullock – a lightly funny story about a woman who doesn’t love a man, then slowly decides that she does love a man, then faces an obstacle which stops her being able to love the man, then overcomes that obstacle and marries the man. Or a shitty film about how evil the internet is. Or a shitty film about an out-of-control boat. Or Premonition, which we still don’t think we understand properly.

But, again, shut up. Let’s pretend that Sandra Bullock only makes romantic comedies, because that makes this summary of The Proposal easier. Oh, forget it. Here’s the US weekend box office top five:

1 - The Proposal (Great! The Proposal is a huge weekend box office success! That means that Sandra Bullock can go back to doing what she does best – stating that she hates making romantic comedies before making a couple of dreadful serious films that nobody likes and nobody watches before sheepishly making another romantic comedy! Hooray!) $34,114,000

2 - The Hangover (The Hangover appears to be this summer’s runaway Wedding Crashers-esque blockbuster comedy. Brilliant! This means that it’s only a matter of time before Ed Helms makes a series of increasingly dreary movies based on his increasingly irritating public persona to diminishing commercial results and Bradley Cooper tries to kill himself before making a movie with Jennifer Anist… oh God, it’s happening already!) $21,336,000

3 - Up (Next year, Pixar’s unique brand of colourful misery continues with Boing!, a movie about a cartoon giraffe slowly dying of septicemia in a Crayola factory) $21,336,000

4 - Year One (Jack Black and Michael Cera make a film where they star as Jack Black and Michael Cera at exactly the point in time where everyone decides that they’d rather shoot themselves in the face than sit through yet another film starring either Jack Black or Michael Cera lazily doing their trademark shtick. Nice timing, guys) $20,200,000

5 - The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 (Based on the novel The Taking Of Pelham 3-2-1, where John Travolta attempts to hijack a subway train armed with nothing but a collection of befuddling word association-based riddles and an anthropomorphic dustbin. Note: this joke will only make sense to British readers in their thirties with a good working knowledge of 1980s Saturday teatime ITV gameshows) $11,300,000

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Right, first an admission. The Hangover is the top movie at the weekend box office this week. That’s not the admission.

The admission is that The Hangover was also the top movie at the weekend box office last week as well. But we said that it was beaten by Up because the numbers were quite close and nobody worked it out properly for a few days. So sorry.

Anyway, The Hangover is the top movie at the US weekend box office this week. Unless there’s been another mistake and really it’s Up. Or Drag Me To Hell. Or ET. Whatever.

It doesn’t really matter one way or the other. The Hangover has now been top of the weekend box office for two weeks instead of one, and we happen to think it’s very well deserved indeed. Because it stars Ed Helms, who used to be on The Daily Show which we love. And it also stars Zach Galifianakis, who is about as close to being a genius as we’re willing to admit. And it also stars Bradley Cooper, who was in He’s Just Not That Into You, which is… oh, hang on a minute, that was rubbish. We hate The Hangover. It’s full of turds.

Here’s the weekend box office top five…

1 – The Hangover (Honestly, we’re thrilled that The Hangover has made Zach Galifianakis a star of Will Ferrell proportions. Just a few more years and we can pretend that his shtick is getting old and monotonous in an attempt to make us look cool and ahead of the crowd too, even though we secretly still like him. Hooray) $33,415,000

2 - Up (So, it looks like Up has gone down at the weekend box office this week. Ahahahaha. Ahahahaha. Ahahahaha. Aha. Ahahahahahahaha. Ahaaaaaaaaaa. Fingers crossed that it drops out of the weekend box office top five completely next week, because we’re going to keep doing this joke every week until it does) $30,515,000

3 - The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 (We believe that The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 was only remade because it’s referenced in the lyrics to Sure Shot by The Beastie Boys. In which case we’re also looking forward to the forthcoming remake of the heartbreaking 1943 Kurosawa classic Bullshit Mic That’s Made Out Of Plastic) $25,000,000

4 - Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (We still haven’t watched Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian. But we did once see a four-year-old literally piss herself with fear while watching a museum’s 3D audio-visual reconstruction of the big bang, which we’re willing to bet is better) $9,600,000

5 - Land Of The Lost (The fact that Land Of The Lost is one of the flops of the summer proves something that we’ve long thought – Will Ferrell’s shtick is getting old and monotonous) $9,153,000

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Folded for the best, Creased for the worst. It’s always been that way.

Folded:

• InFamous on PS3 (electrifying)
• The Hangover (funniest guy movie in years)
• Creamy smoothies (taste nice and no heartburn. Pretend you’re in L.A. and buy one for your rat dog)
• Kasabian’s video for Fire (looks like a modern day western set in the seventies. Cool song too)
• Cassetteboy vs The Bloody Apprentice (‘My car can go 100mph an hour!’)

Creased:

• Channel 4 repeating Night at the Museum two weeks in a row (and they thought we wouldn’t notice)
• The worst website design in the world (remember, somebody actually got paid for this…)
• Chain pubs (maybe it’s the black uniforms that make the bar staff so damn miserable?)
• Cherry smoothies (oh, god, the indigestion)
• Big Brother ads (we can save moaning about the programme until later, but for now those booming adverts that seem to think they are announcing the resurrection of Jesus will have to do)