Last year’s X Factor managed to turn the women of Great Britain into salivating perverts as they all lined themselves up to heap amorous praise on five incredibly young men, now called One Direction.

They knew what they were saying was all kinds of wrong, but they flicked their beans all the same.

And since the show faded in memory, composure was restored… which of course, is about to have its knickers torn off all over again with the release of the new One Direction/Wand Erection single. And if you’re brave enough to click over the jump, you’ll hear that they are quite obviously going to be a gigantic success. Brrr.