Thanksgiving - HecklerSpray

Who Wants To Hear About Lindsay Lohan’s Potatoes?

November 26th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

It’s Thanksgiving! That means two things – nothing has happened today, and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TODAY.

Actually, that’s a lie. One thing has happened today. One scorching hot piece of news that’s likely to make you fall off your seat in utter astonishment. It’s easily the biggest piece of celebrity news this year, and possibly even this decade. Ready? Are you ready to have your senses fried and your brain melted by this unstoppable, world-changing piece of unquestionably seminal information? Are you? OK, here goes…

Lindsay Lohan‘s mum says that Lindsay Lohan makes quite nice mashed potatoes. That’s right, consider your mind BLOWN.

Madonna Can’t Brainwash A-Rod Into Spending Holiday With Her

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Madonna doesn’t do Thanksgiving, possibly because someone once confused her with a turkey and tried slicing her bum open.

And because of this, Madonna won’t be spending this Thanksgiving with rumoured new boyfriend Alex Rodriguez. Well, in truth it’s because Alex Rodriguez would rather spend Thanksgiving with his children in Florida than with the human equivalent of frozen giblets, but the bum-slicing thing just seemed funnier.

But anyway, contrary to several reports, Madonna and Alex Rodriguez won’t be spending Thanksgiving together. Which just goes to show, most men would prefer to spend a holiday with an ex-wife who’s bitter because she was dumped for Madonna and some children whose births were almost missed because their father wanted to go and meet Madonna than actually spend it with Madonna herself. That’s got to sting a bit.

Quantum of Solace Pushed Back a Week, and It’s All Harry Potter’s Fault

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Harry Potter has a lot to answer for – now he’s magically caused Quantum of Solace to be pushed back.

Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company’s decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick – the one with the funny name – back.

Alright, so it’s only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still – come on. Give us a break here.

The reason for the move was given as a simple one: ‘we want more money’. Technically not what they actually said, but ‘moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market’ is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.

Britney Spears To Cyrus Home For Thanksgiving. May Bring Delicous Yams.

March 31st, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Hecklerspray is so poor it can't even afford paper plates. That's why this week, in its New York, Los Angeles and Rigby, Idaho offices, everyone's gonna try to somehow wrap their keyboards with enough paper towels and Saran Wrap to be able to use them as food platters. Believe it or not this works pretty good except for soup.

We did the keyboard thing last year too, but it was our first time and it didn't work so well. A pickle got wedged next to our exclamation point key, and we only got it out a month ago. That was like 11 months of apparent rage – we really weren't half as impassioned as we came across. Honest.

Someone who is that impassioned, apparently, is Miley Cyrus. She sees Britney Spears flailing all about publicly and whatnot, and she's gonna fix it. With turkey gravy. Because Britney Spears is going to Miley's for Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds like a fine idea until Hannah Montana's dad walks in and sees his daughter tricked into licking Cranberry sauce off an attention-starved Spears' squishy abs.

Brit'll be on her own this Christmas. Yup.