For 36 years, Michael Parkinson has been a near-permanent fixture, either on TV gurgling sycophantically at famous people or in magazines grumbling that people can't gurgle sycophantically at famous people as well as he can.

But not for much longer, because last night Michael Parkinson recorded his last ever celebrity interviews before fades away into a retirement of autobiography-writing and complaining about how rude young people are. And it's even been reported that professional northerner Michael Parkinson even got a bit teary-eyed during the filming of his last show. That's something we're either putting down to Parkinson realising what a prolific and generous interviewer he's been over the last three and a half decades or because Jamie Cullum turned up and started singing bad jazz-pop at him. We're going to go with the second one.

If you thought that spending your Saturday evenings staying in watching retired rugby players and semi-forgotten former soapstars stomp around a stage in sequinny leotards was as low as you could get, think again.

Because we'll say one thing in Strictly Come Dancing's defence - it isn't about choirs. It doesn't take a genius to see that a primetime BBC One reality talent show based around choirs would probably be the worst televisual idea since Minipops or Vernon Kay or something, but tell that to BBC One. That's because BBC One has just commissioned Choir Wars, a sort of X Factor but for choirs. We know, we know, the last thing we want to watch is a competitive Songs Of Praise too, but at least it'll keep Graham Norton off the streets for a few months next year.

Social networking is something that means totally different things to people of different ages. For example, the average adult Daily Mail reader knows that it's just a tool to help children get stalked and molested by dangerous paedophile beasts.

For the average 14-year-old girl, it’s just a chance to post bulletins telling your friends what dead animal your cat dragged through the kitchen door. Of course, websites like Facebook and MySpace are usually used in other ways, like to add us to their profiles as friends even though we've never met them. And, yes sexibexi4369 if you're reading, we do know you're a bloke anyway. However, musicians favour social networking for gaining publicity and it’s a well-known fact that pikey pied-faced Lily Allen has been doing this for ages. But now it seems like she's stepping out the virtual world and onto television. God help us all.  

And so Larry King lives to barely breathe another day - negotiations over the proposed daily hour-long Rosie O'Donnell prime-time MSNBC show have broken down, Rosie O'Donnell has revealed.

According to a post on her blog, Rosie O'Donnell's hopes of scoring a daily serious-minded TV show on MSNBC were over the moment she started yammering on about it to a crowd of people in Miami, and now MSNBC has pulled out of talks. While Rosie O'Donnell can cheerily put the failed MSNBC deal on the ever-growing pile of TV work she didn't manage to get, it still leaves MSNBC with a gaping hole at 9pm that it desperately needs to fill. Maybe producers were looking for a host who was a little less polarising than Rosie O'Donnell - like Joe Pasquale, maybe, or Dog The Bounty Hunter.

Like us, you've probably turned on the TV over the last few months and been frustrated at the lack of hulking angry red-faced lesbians spluttering and gasping any time anyone says something they even slightly disagree with.

If that's the case, well, we don't want you to get too excited here, but it looks like Rosie O'Donnell is going to be given her own show on MSNBC. It's early days yet, but rumour has it that Rosie O'Donnell is in negotiations to bounce back after her high-profile resignation from The View with a daily prime-time TV show where she'll be in direct competition with Larry King. Nothing's been confirmed yet, but it's thought that Rosie O'Donnell has already drawn up a shortlist of potential titles for her show, including I Hate Everything, Outta My Way Assholes and Has Anyone Else Noticed That Elisabeth Hasselbeck Doesn't Have Her Own Show? She Doesn't, I Checked.