Articles tagged with: television shows
So, we’re thinking we may have reached a point where we’re desensitised to the antics of crazy Britney Spears. In fact, we’re downright bored.
But you know who has been a shining beacon of stability throughout all of this? Britney’s ex-husband Kevin Federline, that’s who. In fact, he’s been so committed to parenting that he’s apparently postponed the reality show he was maybe going to do about his life as a single dad. We didn’t know he was planning a reality show to begin with, because we can’t afford to buy another TV after we put a fist through the last one when Britney and Kevin: Chaotic premiered.
The Super Bowl Halftime show is a chance for the biggest names in music to either perform a bulletproof collection of world-conquering hits or whap a big wobbly booby out and make everyone choke on their tea.
Which one happened at yesterday's Super Bowl? Well, none. Tom Petty performed you see.
Tom Petty. You know. From Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. Oh, come on, you know who Tom Petty is - he did that song that was on for about 20 seconds during that one episode of Scrubs once. At least we think that was Tom Petty.
Anyone with personal issues that can only be solved by a level-headed pop-psych Vulcan who looks uncannily like Ben Kingsley will be a little bit upset with this.
Montel Williams is quitting his talk show.
Montel has announced that The Montel Williams Show will come to an end this season, leaving the world's troubled in the capable hands of Dr Phil. Well, capable insomuch that's he's basically just a big shouting bear with alopecia. But you get the idea.
Guess what - the movie Crash is about to get turned into a TV series.
No, not Crash the David Cronenberg movie about James Spader having it off with people inside a smashed-up car - that would be too much like fun - we mean Crash the dreary Oscar-winning movie about racism and whatnot. That's the Crash that's being turned into a TV series.
We know. We can't wait either.
It's been a long time coming, but Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles finally kicks off in America this weekend.
Set between Terminator 2 and Terminator 3, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is the long-promised show that brings the Terminator story to a television audience, only without Arnold Schwarzenegger, the gigantic budget or the rubbishy Guns 'N Roses soundtrack.
And, slightly miraculously, people don't think seem to think that Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is crap.
Dr Phil never says so on his show, but the best way to solve a problem is to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never existed.
Everyone knows that - it's the reason why all the hecklerspray staff are such well-rounded, perfectly normal individuals. It's also the reason why the family of Britney Spears have all got the hump with Dr Phil for speaking out publicly about Britney's recent psychological snafu. Dr Phil, they say, have broken the Spears' circle of trust.
And circles of trust are a lot like hymens - once broken they can only be repaired by complicated, expensive and largely unnecessary surgical procedures. We think.
This morning we woke up in an unusually delicious mood knowing that, by bedtime, Dr Phil would have single-handedly solved all of Britney Spears' crazy problems on his downhome self-help TV show. It was an exciting thought - that maybe by the time we tucked ourselves up in our one big communal hecklerspray bed (head-to-toe, we're not perverts) - Dr Phil would have restored factory settings on Britney Spears, reverting her back into the Britney we love best, the provocatively-virginal schoolgirl who dressed up in pigtails and a miniskirt and asked grown men to hit her. But sadly that hasn't happened because Dr Phil has cancelled today's scheduled Britney Spears episode as a result, citing pressure from the Spears family.
Lesson learnt, Dr Phil has decided to instead do a show entitled Fine, But Don't Come Running To Me Next Time Your Minge Is All Over The Internet.
Everyone deserves a second chance in life, and that goes for leathery old reactionary gits who look like Worzel Gummidge's homeless alcoholic substance-abusing brother being attacked by wasps in a hailstorm - and Don Imus, too.
Back in the springtime, Don Imus briefly became the new Mel Gibson when he attracted a racial firestorm by claiming that a female basketball team all looked a bit like Pampers-loving pieces of horticultural equipment or something, and he was promptly sacked from his radio show as a result. But now Don Imus is back, and presented his first show on WABC-AM just hours ago. And to show how much he's progressed, Don Imus unveiled a brand-new non-racist team including two black comedians. True, they spent the entirety of Don Imus' show locked in a cage wearing loincloths, eating watermelons and singing My Mammy, but a start's a start.
