Articles tagged with: television shows
On the surface there might not seem to be a lot of difference between appearing on American Idol and waggling your naked penis in a homosexual's face for cash.
But that's where you're wrong, because... oh, actually, no. There really isn't a lot of difference between going on American Idol and the naked penis thing.
In fact, they're so similar that American Idol's head honcho has decided to allow David Hernandez - the American Idol contestant with a murky male stripper past - to stay on the show even though it's patently, patently wrong to do so. Surely American Idol contestants should start the slow depraved slide into humiliating public nudity after they've left the show, not before. Cosmic order like this should not be trifled with.
When Joanie loved Chachi it lasted exactly 17 episodes. When Frasier loved Niles it lasted even longer-ish.
Unless the spin-off of which you speak belongs to Cleveland Brown of Family Guy fame. He, apparently, is on the threshold of carrying his own show.
Normally when Paris Hilton needs a new friend, she goes to a puppy mill and buys one that she can stuff in her hand bag. Since the world-wide puppy shortage, however, that has become impossible. She's tried filling that void with other animals, we heard, but the goldfish died in her mascara case and her squirrel kept trying to store nuts deep inside her. Picture yourself at a million-dollar luncheon, and acorns keep dropping out of your pant-suit. Untolerable.
Paris Hilton has given up her solo friend-search now, and is letting MTV find the yin to her yang, the Japan to her Germany, and the mindless cult to her Charles Manson. Via reality TV.And if you don't feel enticed enough to apply yet, keep in mind we're pretty sure one of her eyes is a Johnny Depp piece of eight. Certainly that is worth your consideration.
Everyone deserves a second chance, even freakish-looking giants the colour of burning magma who are just a teensy bit racist.
And that's why A&E has decided to start remaking new episodes of Dog The Bounty Hunter, months after the show was pulled off air when Dog The Bounty Hunter started chucking the n-word around in a phone conversation like Christ knows what.
Nobody is exactly sure what convinced A&E to start bringing Dog The Bounty Hunter back, but one possible clue lies in the locked cupboard full of screaming naked A&E executives who couldn't stop scratching at their burning eyes that was discovered last week. The fact that 'Give me my show back, bra' was also written on the cupboard wall in blood may be another indication.
It's been a day now since Jane Fonda blurted out the C-word on live morning television and, astonishingly, the sky hasn't fallen yet.
But still, Jane Fonda is mortified that she said 'cunt' live on the Today show, and she's done nothing but sincerely apologise with all her heart for corrupting a planet's moral sensibilities ever since.
OK, that's not strictly true. Jane Fonda hasn't apologised at all for saying 'cunt' on TV. But she has got her rep to apologise. Well, sort of apologise - the jist of the apology is that everyone should should shut up because Jane Fonda didn't invent the word 'cunt' - but, until someone builds some sort of cunt rehab for Jane Fonda to attend, that's probably as good as we'll get.
New BBC 3 show Lily Allen And Friends is in trouble. And not just due to the rubbish title - although surely a more accurate name would be Lily Allen And A Bunch Of Z-List Hangers-On Who'll Vanish As Soon As Her Fame Begins To Dwindle, Therefore Leaving Her With Nothing Better To Do Than Record An Embarrassing Christmas 2009 Novelty Record With Her Father.
The idea seemed like a rating winner at first. Get one of the most high profile pop stars of the moment to front an inane and unchallenging chatfest with some equally dim celebrity mates.
Then? Then came the studio recording, and the point at which things didn't so much go downhill as start tunnelling to the centre of the Earth like that weird drill-vehicle from The Core. And - after disappointing the live audience so much that a good percentage of them walked out - Lily has now seen this failure to engage reflected in the broadcast arena.
Remember a few weeks ago when Diane Keaton said the f-word on live TV? Well screw that because Jane Fonda has just gone one better.
Cunt. Jane Fonda just said 'cunt' on live TV.
Jane Fonda, lord bless her, was on the Today show this morning talking about The Vagina Monologues. And instead of saying 'fanny' or 'minge' or 'vagina' or 'tumpsy', Jane Fonda went right out and said 'cunt'. And nobody even noticed for a while.
Video? Of course we've got video.
Ever wondered what it's like being Denise Richards?
No, us neither. Not at all. In fact, sometimes entire calendar months pass when we don't even think of Denise Richards, let alone wonder what it'd be like to actually be her. We've got plenty more important things to wonder about than that.
But tough shit, because Denise Richards has formally announced that she's making a reality TV show about herself with the express intention of showing everyone what it's like to be Denise Richards. The show won't be broadcast until the summer, but we can already guess what it's like to be Denise Richards - pretty much like being any other idiot, but with better tits.
