Articles tagged with: teenage pregnancy
Report: Televisions Get Your Children Pregnant
We already have plenty of things to blame Sarah Jessica Parker for - transvestites who only speak in puns to name one - but that's not enough for her. No, now Sarah Jessica Parker has been named as the reason why there are so many pregnant teenagers running around. She hasn't been impregnating the teens directly - although we wouldn't put it past her, the shifty-faced git - but she has been putting the idea into their heads. Probably. A new report has shown that teenage girls are more than twice as likely to get pregnant if they watch a lot of TV shows that contain sexual content. We can see that the report has a point - as teenagers we watched a lot of All Creatures Great And Small, and to this day we can't even look at a cow without running over and ramming a fist up its bottom until a baby cow comes out.
We already have plenty of things to blame Sarah Jessica Parker for - transvestites who only speak in puns to name one - but that's not enough for her. No, now Sarah Jessica Parker has been named as the reason why there are so many pregnant teenagers running around. She hasn't been impregnating the teens directly - although we wouldn't put it past her, the shifty-faced git - but she has been putting the idea into their heads. Probably. A new report has shown that teenage girls are more than twice as likely to get pregnant if they watch a lot of TV shows that contain sexual content. We can see that the report has a point - as teenagers we watched a lot of All Creatures Great And Small, and to this day we can't even look at a cow without running over and ramming a fist up its bottom until a baby cow comes out.
Jamie Lynn Spears Brings About Societal Devastation On A Mass Scale
Despair is a pretty common theme when it comes to writing about celebrities - especially when it comes to their impact on popular culture. Never let it be said that people around the world are anything more than mindless drones, willing to copy any trend pushed in front of them. So it comes as no surprise that half of the world's media have jumped onto the fact that Jamie Lynn Spears' recent plopping-out of a baby and subsequent photoshoot with said ball of illegitimate flesh could have an effect on teenage pregnancy levels around the world. Because young girls are even more stupid than the everyday moron. The world is sure to become a much worse place. Despair once again sets in.
Despair is a pretty common theme when it comes to writing about celebrities - especially when it comes to their impact on popular culture. Never let it be said that people around the world are anything more than mindless drones, willing to copy any trend pushed in front of them. So it comes as no surprise that half of the world's media have jumped onto the fact that Jamie Lynn Spears' recent plopping-out of a baby and subsequent photoshoot with said ball of illegitimate flesh could have an effect on teenage pregnancy levels around the world. Because young girls are even more stupid than the everyday moron. The world is sure to become a much worse place. Despair once again sets in.
