Hecklerspray’s working on a script for a television series based on Orko, the purple magician from the He-Man cartoon.

It’ll be a drama. In the pilot he’ll meet a pair of lavender legs, they’ll slowly fall in love, and then half way through season three he’ll realize they’re actually his legs which have been missing since shortly after birth. Initially this will pose an ethical dilemma, but then they’ll move to Vermont and get married anyway.

We’ve a guy at TBS that says he’s very interested. MTV doesn’t have room for more 80′s fanfare – they’re too busy bringing back Teen Wolf.

MTV’s decided for some reason to make an entire series out of Michael J Fox‘s Teen Wolf movie. We’re not sure why they did this, but we assume it’s because anything with strong bestiality overtones is currently very popular with young people.

You gotta go to the well with water, know what we mean?

Personally we think this is a mistake that will only add to the slow erosion of societal values that we’ve all historically benefited from. A couple seasons of Doc Hollywood, on the other hand, now that we can totally get behind. Did you hear that VH1? Listen to us! We’re your targeted demographic!

Had you heard about Teen Wolf making a howling (sorry) comeback? You hadn’t? Well then read this bit from THR:

“MTV’s reinvention of the 1980s movie “Teen Wolf” is inching closer to reality with a pilot presentation order. The cable network announced the project in January as part of its development slate. After seeing the script, MTV brass picked it up to presentation. The 1985 film starred Michael J. Fox as a teenager who discovers he is a werewolf. The MTV version will be set in high school, draw from the horror genre to explore werewolf mythology and include a romantic plot line.”

We’re sure you all are thinking that MTV is just jumping on the werewolf bandwagon that’s been made so popular by Twilight. Well this isn’t true – there are differences galore! They’ll only hire actual actors to portray the various roles, for instance.

And if you didn’t like the original Teen Wolf movies, well don’t you worry about that either. As far as we can tell nobody intends to stick to a blue print. For instance this time instead of descending from a long line of were-people, the main character is created when his pregnant mother falls into a large vat of dog spoo that had been harvested by a small town for its skin replenishing capabilities.

You may think the writers made up the rejuvenating part – but they didn’t. That’s why we heard in ski-towns Walgreen’s sells dog ejaculent by the pint.

Another difference between the MTV Teen Wolf and it’s 80s parent is the teenage-lead’s transformed-dog-self has an obvious splash of poodle in him.

This will be really nice for people who like gay dogs.

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Welcome along to this week’s instalment of Movies From Beyond.

For the initiated amongst you, this is the dark, damp corner of hecklerspray where we delve into the world of the B-movie, the cult favourites and the forgotten gems. We love it and so should you – if needed we can apply a Jedi mind trick to make you see things our way.

First of all, we feel it is our duty to mention One Missed Call – we ventured out to the local megaplex last night to check out the latest American remake of a J-horror scarefest. We left feeling robbed – it was bland, unoriginal and really came  across like a third-rate remake of The Ring.

This week: Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Teen Wolf!

Before it ever appeared on TV, Buffy The Vampire Slayer appeared in ’92 as a movie and, whilst it is hard to get hold of DVD, we recommend you give it a go. The story is that Buffy is the chosen one, the new slayer, although she is a typical 90s 90210 wannabe. Donald Sutherland (?) takes her under his wing and trains her to beat the dark dwellers six ways from Sunday with nothing but martial arts and wooden stakes.

Yeah, it looks a bit dated now -  but there are some brilliant lines like “Get out of facial,” plus it features Luke Perry who actually WAS in Beverly Hills 90210.

In our opinion it is miles better than the TV series that followed and well worth watching, although remember the crosses and garlic when you do.

Released just after one of the greatest 80s Michael J Fox movies, Back To The Future, came Teen Wolf – the movie that had the man himself struggling with the fact he was a teenage werewolf. See what they did there?

He was minding his own business doing all those wholesome teen activities like playing basketball, going to school and surfing on cars whilst listening to the Beach Boys when one day he grew hair where there wasn’t hair before and became instantly more cool and popular. If you are a fan of the slightly ridiculous then this is the one for you.

You can get the double feature DVD easily (it has the really poor sequel starring Jason Bateman on there as well) however, in our opinion you should get it just for the greatest movie mistake of all time. As the end credits role at the end of the big basketball game look over to the grandstand and see the guy in the Police Academy T-shirt doing his flies up! Classic!

[story by Simon Woodley]