teaser - HecklerSpray

The Amazing Spider Man Teaser Shows Parker Getting Bullied Like A Wimp

February 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! Comic nerds! Fancy picking holes in something? Then step right up, because we’ve got the newest teaser of the new web-slinging flick,?The Amazing Spider-Man, which has been trailed at special preview events around the world.

The latest incarnation of Spiderman (it’s pronounced like a surname, etc) is played by Andrew Garfield, and we get to see the full thing – and berate it for not being quite right – in July.

So what can we expect? Well, this time ’round, we’ll see?Peter Parker being bullied at school. Yep. Bullied like a big wimp. No wonder he had a chip on his shoulder. We also see the usual testing of web-firing gadgets and, better yet, the birth of the villainous Lizard played by Rhys Ifans (the one in the underpants in that film).

Human Centipede 2 Takes An Amazing ?942 At Box Office

November 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ever woke up in the morning and thought to yourself “Hey! You know what I’d like to see today? A fat Northerner stapling someone’s mouth to an anus while jerking himself off with sandpaper!” Have you?

Then chances are, you’re Tom Six, the director of The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), and barely anyone else.

See, the film has taken a hilarious ?942 at the box office after opening in the UK last weekend. Basically, no-one wants to see it AND pay for it. We suspect that it has been streamed and downloaded online (uncut) more times than anyone settling down in a cheese smelling cinema has.

Sneak Preview Of The Human Centipede 2 (Free Poster Inside!)

October 7th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

It’s time for the release of Human Centipede 2! Hurray! How we love a romantic comedy about a crazy copycat torturer and self-pleasuring yourself with stuff purloined from the tool box while being shouted at by your mum!

Is Hugh Grant in it?

Anyway, as the film is getting shown (States only thus far, but Limey won’t have long to wait, don’t fret) and such, so we thought we’d give you some teasers in the shape of some stills from the film (they’re very pleasant) and the promotional poster (tastefully minging) for you to gawp at. Ready?

The Human Centipede 2 Gets A Classification – Now A RomCom

October 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey divs! Great news! The romantic comedy, The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence, has been given a British Board of Film Classification today! How amazing is that? That means… well… you’ll illegally download it anyway as you’ll want to see all the nasty (funny) bits they hacked out.

Tom Six?s film – which to be perfectly honest, looks hilarious. A horror film set in the North of England with lousy acting? SIGN US UP! – has been given an 18 certificate, which means it can now be legally sold in the UK.

Of course, the BBFC had previously rejected the film, stating: “it is the Board?s conclusion that the explicit presentation of the central character?s obsessive sexually violent fantasies is in breach of its Classification Guidelines and poses a real, as opposed to a fanciful, risk that harm is likely to be caused to potential viewers.? The BBFC also considered that The Human Centipede 2 may have even been in breach of the Obscene Publications Act or similar legislation.”

Yeah, right.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Trailer Shows Yorkshiremen For The Depraved Maniacs They Really Are

September 29th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

How disappointing was The Human Centipede? Very, that’s what. It wasn’t even funny bad. It was just a marvellously disgusting idea executed badly. It was a veritable snoozefest that was watched by a million people illegally online just to see what the fuss was about.

At least Child’s Play managed to create some real life murderers.

And that’s the schtick for The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence). And you can see the trailer for it over the jump. Again, it looks like it’ll make you puke, but we’ll reserve judgement ’til we’ve actually sat down and watched it.

Let Us All Cry At Being Elmo [Trailer]

September 29th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Yes, yes… it’s all very well being cynical and cool all the time because it means that you never have to go out on a limb and say you like something that someone else may point out is entirely gash… but sometimes you really have to.

And surely even the most cold-hearted gitwurst couldn’t fail to be thawed by the antics of the characters on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show?

As such, there’s a new film out which looks really good that will make everyone on Earth cry tears of emotional joy all down their face. Ladies and Non-Ladies, let us point you in the direction of the trailer for the splendid looking Being Elmo.

Britney Spears Is A Stinking, Dirty, Farting, Wretched Human Says Coward

July 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember Britney Spears bending over whilst sporting nothing but a short nightie, showing her meat to a security guard? Remember? She also sent him naked pictures of herself? Honestly. A security guard who worked for her said it, so it must be true.

That’s because, as Kevin Costner showed us, security guards are just about the only people you can really trust on this awful planet.

Britney’s old guard is so trustworthy that he’s been telling us all about Dirty Spears. She’s a bad apple. She pestered him for sex when he was just trying to do an honest day’s work. And there she was, flashing her stinking undercarriage at him and reeking like an ashtray. You think we’re making this up? Read on for the undeniable proof.

Trailer Leaked For The Amazing Spiderman (Or, How To Copy Batman)

July 21st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The cool thing about Spiderman is that he’s a bit lame. Sure, the whole Spidey Sense thing is cool and so is the whole parkour thing he invented… but he’s still lame. He’s a complaining smart-ass who still lives with his elderly Aunt. We even saw him being a student in a bedsit.

And so, when recreating the comics, you really need to grab a hold of that lameditude and embrace it. The ’90s animated series pretty much nailed the nerd/hero axis, but sadly, the movie adaptations were too keen on making Peter Parker too nerdy, and his alter-ego too cool.

So the new The Amazing Spiderman film is going to sort all that out, right? It’ll retain some of the b-movie fun of the enjoyably crap ’70s films, as well as throwing some decent explosion at him, right? Ummmm…

Britney Spears Gets Engaged Again, Proving Her Love Of Wedding Cake And Bad Buffets

June 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

You may think of Britney Spears as some kind of pop-star who made a handful of decent records (backed by astonishing, saccharine dross), but really, she’s a wedding machine. She’s in danger of being remembered like Liz Taylor – Mad as a hatter and a loft filled with wedding dresses.

That’s right! Ol’ Britters is getting married again, meaning that she possibly doesn’t take the whole wedding vows thing seriously at all (which should be applauded really – what a stupid, stupid institution marriage is) or, she really can’t get enough of the marzipan in wedding cake (it just doesn’t taste right on its own, obviously).

So now we approach wedding number three (and of course, imminent divorce number three), we can coo about her plans and try and figure out who it is she’s actually going with at the moment because we don’t recall anyone being mentioned outside of lawsuits and sexual harassment cases.

Britney Is Not A Corporate Puppet. Probably.

May 4th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Britney Spears has been called a lot of things in her time. Oh yes, insults ranging from ‘tuneless’ and ‘ fruiter’ to ‘baldy’ have been hurled in her direction over the years and no-one really cared to set the record straight as they were all probably pretty spot on.

However, one recent slur, cruelly branding Britney a ‘corporate puppet’ has outraged songwriter Savan Kotecha so much he opened his mouth and said something which sounded exactly like this:

“No. ?I think these big artists don’t get where they are unless them and their team are running the show. Simple as that”. Is it? IS IT???