Taylor Swift - HecklerSpray

Lena Dunham Talks Taylor Swift, Sounds Like an Idiot

October 11th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

This may come as a total shock to you, but recently, Lena Dunham spoke in an interview and…wait for it…sounded like a fucking idiot who had no idea what she was talking about. I know, I know, I’m just as appalled as you all are.

Lena was on Watch What Happens Live and was asked which one of her bestie Taylor Swift’s exes she disliked the most. She was sitting next to Maggie Gyllenhaal so she obviously couldn’t say Jake, who took Taylor’s V card and dumped her, so instead she said Calvin Harris, and her reasoning was just beautiful.

Taylor Swift Finally Takes Sides

October 9th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

haigurl

For years, Taylor Swift has played a neutral political game, probably as to not alienate any of her fans. Let’s be real, Taylor Swift started out as a country singer, so it seems pretty probable that she has many fans who lean right. In fact, up until this week, she’s kind of been a bit of a darling for the right side.

I say up until this week, because as of two days ago, Taylor Swift decided to stop playing in the middle and announce where she stands politically. And unlike the title of her best album, it ain’t red.

Lena Dunham is Single and Ready to Mingle

January 8th, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

To all of you out there who have spent the past five years thinking “How am I single when Lena fucking Dunham got a man??”, 2018 is definitely your year because that bitch is now single af.

I’m going to assume that after a five year long distance internet relationship, Jack Antonoff finally gave in and actually met Lena Dunham, realized she was absolutely AWFUL, then dumped her immediately.

Taylor Swift Finally Steps Out With Next Album

December 11th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Of course, by that title I clearly mean her latest boyfriend, Joe Alwyn. Though Taylor and Joe have been reportedly dating for months, Taylor Swift decided to do something very UN-Taylor Swift and keep their relationship on the down low…until now.

Taylor recently performed at Capital FM’s annual Jingle Ball and shockingly boyfriend Joe Alwyn stepped out to support her AND they were actually photographed holding hands. In the world of celebrity blogging (and my Swift obsessed friend, Lori), this is v v legitimate news.

HecklerSpray Advent Day 6: Silence Breakers Win Person of the Year

December 6th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Get ready for a classic moment of Krysta being a walking contradiction. Just yesterday I posted about how Taylor Swift was absolutely NOT a bad bitch. Now, here I am, less than 24 hours later, suggesting she’s at least a BIT of a bad bitch. Da fuck, I know.

Today’s “Good shit in pop culture that happened in 2017” Christmas advent is super recent, as in today, because Time Magazine just named the Silence Breakers aka all the men and women who stood up to sexual abuse and started the “Me Too” movement as its Person of the Year. And yes, that includes Taylor.

Internet Confirms: Taylor Swift is NOT a Bad Bitch

December 5th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

haigurl

Taylor Swift’s hardcore fans are always on the internet posting shit about how great she is, and usually the rest of us don’t take much notice. However, this week one fan’s Twitter post has totally blown up, and in a way that’s great for me, but shitty for Taylor.

A Twitter user and presumable T. Swift lover recently posted a picture of Tay Tay from her “Look What You Made Me Do” with the caption “Name a bitch badder than Taylor Swift” and boy, oh boy, did Twitter respond.

Heckler Spray Investigative Report: The Mystery of Taylor Swift’s New Ass

November 1st, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

It is pretty much common knowledge now that Taylor Swift got her breasts done in summer 2016. She hasn’t even addressed it, but not every woman who gets her tits done needs to make an announcement about it, and I offer up zero judgement on boob jobs. Live your best life, ya know?

However, since coming back from her hiatus from the spotlight, people have been noticing that this “new” Taylor has apparently been influenced by her arch enemies, the Kardashians, and I’m not just talking about them inspiring angry songs. Her butt. I’m talking about her butt.

Taylor Swift’s New Music Really Sucks, Hey?

October 20th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Before you Swifties come at me and call me a biased bitch who is just dissing Taylor Swift’s new music because I think she is a disgusting person, I’ll have you know that, musically speaking, I typically enjoy Taylor Swift. I think all her previous albums have been SUPER listenable and enjoyable and physically bought a copy of 1989, so you can throw that biased bullshit aside, thankyouverymuch.

Taylor Swift’s New Song/Video Prove She’s Just as Crappy as People Said She Was.

August 29th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

First of all, I know this is my fourth Taylor Swift blog in a row and I promise you that later I will write about Kim Kardashian’s atrocious spray-tan in Interview magazine, but right now I have some final grievances to air and it has to be done.

For years, many people–including myself–have been suggesting that Taylor Swift is secretly a manipulative mean girl who loves to play the victim and attack anyone who wrongs her by trying to ruin their reputation via song. With her new song, video, and impending album, Taylor has proven that–SHOCKER–we were all right about her skinny white ass (not body shaming, I also have a skinny white ass, so shut up!).

Taylor Swift Dropped Her Stupid New Video and It’s Full of Stuff

August 28th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Well, Taylor Swift’s highly anticipated shit show of a music video for “Look What You Made Me Do” premiered at the boring af MTV VMAs last night, and some people are calling it genius because of all of it’s “hidden” messages. And by “hidden” I mean blatant and obvious as Kylie Jenner’s plastic surgery.

Taylor Swift’s new video takes jabs at more people and things than the song itself, but makes no effort to be even remotely subtle. It’s basically the music video a spite filled 14-year-old girl would make as a creative project for a junior high art class…and that basically makes all of the sense.