Wesley Snipes Staring At Three Years In Jail Now's the time to start hoarding your special edition Passenger 57 DVDs, because you might not see Wesley Snipes again until 2011. Now that he's officially a convicted tax-dodger, Wesley Snipes is waiting to be told his fate, and prosecutors are urging the judge to hit him with the maximum three-year jail sentence, with a $5 million fine thrown in on top. It sounds particularly harsh, but prosecutors want Wesley Snipes to serve the maximum punishment so it will deter any Wesley Snipes fans who think that not filing your tax returns is cool. Although we're sure none of them think that - if Wesley Snipes has any fans at all, we're not even sure they'd be able to spell their own names, let alone file any tax returns.

PETA Offers To Pay Aretha Franklin’s Fat Old-Lady Taxes

When hecklerspray thinks of PETA, we think of the time they rushed our house and 'rescued' a boa constrictor we were keeping in several shoe boxes we'd taped end-to-end-to-end until it passed our dear old grandmother.

Thanks for that PETA. We only hope you gave her poopy bones a decent burial. Also, we're pretty sure she was holding one of our Wii controllers when the snake done ate her, so if you could sift through that stuff...

Now when Aretha Franklin thinks of PETA, she has a different experience all together. 'Tax saviors' may be the term that first comes to her mind. That's because they've just promised to pay all her back house taxes on one condition... she must kill her only child! With a cheese grater! And meat spices!