Tattoo - HecklerSpray

There’s Bad Decisions, And Then There’s Amber Rose’s New Tattoo

April 23rd, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

We live in a world where celebrities don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump ‘n’ grind?with their director, 72 day marriages or having a secret lovechild with the maid, so it’s always nice when couples like Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa come along to remind us that famous couples?can?be devoted to each other.?

It would be even nicer if they could do it in a way that doesn’t cause other people to cringe so hard that it does permanent damage to their spine. Amber Rose has decided that having a baby with her ‘true love’ just wasn’t enough of a sign that she’s in it for the long haul, and chose to go down the ever-romantic route of etching him permanently into her skin. Whatever you’re picturing right now, it’s worse.?

Rihanna Ruins Hot Body With Ugly Under-Boob Tattoo

September 12th, 2012 By Chris Starr

‘Skank’ is a fine line to walk. I know – I have women friends. They will spend hours deciding whether an outfit is just slutty enough without going over the boundary into looking like a two-bit prostitute. Up until this week, Rihanna was just the right side of skank.

She managed to look just rough enough that you wouldn’t feel like you were going to become ill from kissing her, but too dirty to imagine taking her home to your parents. It was great. But then she ruined it.

Rihanna Gives You Another Reason To Hate Her

January 26th, 2012 By Lady Robotnik

Though famous for making excellent life choices, Rihanna has made one more ? by getting a set of hideous tattoos. Most female celebrity tattoos look like they were purchased with a Groupon voucher and inked by Micheal J Fox post-Parkinson?s. Rihanna?s are no exception.

The never-knowingly-dressed starlet has got the words ?Thug Life? inked on her knuckles, and something so wonderfully secret that she's yet to tweet a photo on her back.

Yes, you read that right. Thug. Life. Life must be really tough in that multi-million dollar ghetto she's living in. We heard that just the other day the barista accidentally gave her the wrong sort of soya milk in her dickheaduccino. So she had him drive-by?ed (we possibly made this up).

Lindsay Lohan Gets Tattoo That Shows A Lovely Lack Of Self-Awareness

January 10th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she's a moron. That's the only possible reason why she emerged from a tattoo parlour this week permanently marked with the phrase: Live Without Regrets.

The ~~starlet~~ drunken car crash is said to have told pals that she's ?at a great point in her life and wanted to do something she’d always remember’.

Who wouldn't want to remember the ~~first second~~ third time they got their vag out for the public? At least this time it was sponsored by Playboy and not 12 Jagerbombs and an hour in the powder rooms

Cool Short Films From Sailor Jerry: Hold Fast!

December 7th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

We all dream of doing something cool for a living, right? Becoming a bass-player in a hot band or making ice-sculptures for obscenely wealthy investor balls. Well, some people actually have the nerve to go and do it.

We’re not jealous at all. Nope.

Okay. We’re hugely envious of these people. However, listening to them speak can be rather inspiring, mainly because the cynic in you thinks ‘Hey! Look at this bozo! I could do his job!‘ Well, Sailor Jerry have made a buncha short films looking at people who have enviously great jobs but aren’t idiots with it.

Justin Bieber Is Not A Dad, Which Is A Gasping Shame For All Concerned

November 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

It looks like Justin Bieber won’t have a little friend to play with in his sandbox after Mariah Yeater dropped her lawsuit which alleged that the infant singer fathered her four-month old son with his hairless willy.

The depressing thing about that is, in particular, that he almost certainly didn’t tell a young fan that he wanted to ‘eff her brains out‘. We liked the idea of that sentiment making a comeback.

Either way, this lawsuit has shown a more snidey, snarky side of Bieber which has been slowly revealing itself over the last year, giving credence to the idea that JB has actually been replaced with a lookalike by the Illuminati.

Miley Cyrus Likes The Gays Way More Than You

August 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Do you like gay people? Perhaps you’re a gay person yourself? Doesn’t matter one jot. That’s because Miley Cyrus likes gay people more than anyone else, ever. How do we know this? Because she’s got a tattoo.

As well you know, young people get tattoos about the things they feel strongly passionate about… the things they will stand-by for life… and boy, Miley means it, maaaaaan.

See, she’s decided to get a tattoo that shows that she supports gay marriage. What have you done? Nothing we bet. Unless you happen to be gay and have got married. Even then, marriages don’t often last as long as tattoos, so even you lose.

Justin Bieber Is So Cool That He Copies His Dad’s Tattoos

June 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Justin Bieber may be so small that his collective flesh barely covers a recently unified egg and sperm, but that isn’t stopping him from plastering his skin with ropey tattoos. The kid has barely formed bones stiff enough to stand in a playpen with, yet he’s determined to look like the jigsaw man from The X Files.

Yes, we understand that 100% of Beliebers won’t understand a cultural reference from a vastly overrated, but popular ’90s sci-fi drama.

Where were we? Oh yes. Bieber has added to his already paltry collection of tattoos… and it is another one that he’s copied from his dad. What a loser.

Jesse James Dates Girl With Skin That Will Look Fine In 50 Years

August 20th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

Sometimes hecklerspray likes to sit back and imagine up a perfect girl for us. She’s got boneless noodle arms & the body of a female Ghengis Khan. We haven’t found her yet, but we’re patient.

And lonely.

Jesse James definitely has a type too – and until recently we thought that type was ‘Adopted a very large African-American football player.’ But no, that’s not his type. His type is so covered in tattoos that you can only determine ethnicity by seeing a picture of her parents. Lucky for him, then, that Kat von D is back on the market.

Stephen Baldwin Gets Hannah Montana Tattooed All Over Himself

March 24th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

When hecklerspray was just 42 years old the song Electric Youth descended upon us from a gas station sound-system.

It was 1989, and to this day we believe that sweet vocal delivery was sent from heaven on high. You see, about two hours previously the cashier working inside had informed us the strawberry slurpee-maker was on the fritz, and we were thinking about ending it all as soon as some passing customer dropped a loaded shotgun, a woodman’s axe, or perhaps maybe a small bear or something. Yes, a bear would have done nicely.

But then Debbie Gibson buoyed our spirits the way only a teen icon can when she’s singing in a button-covered jean jacket with it’s collar fully extended. We got up, convinced the 7-11 clerk to just sell us a cup full of pure strawberry slurpee syrup instead, and went off into the night to face whatever challenges may come.

Debs saved our life that night. And to commemorate the love we can’t imagine she doesn’t probably have for us, we recently allowed Stephen Baldwin to get a tattoo of her placed anywhere on his body he wanted to.

Oh wait – that wasn’t a Debbie Gibson tattoo he just got – it was a Hannah Montana tattoo. Literally. Stephen Baldwin literally got a Hannah Montana tattoo inked permanently onto his skin somewhere. Now we’re going to put the word ‘literally’ in italics again just so you get how strange we think this all is – Literally.