There’s not a lot to explain here, really. Denise Richards cannot sing. She cannot sing. Denise Richards literally cannot sing.

In fact, all there is to say here is that Denise Richards was asked to sing Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch of a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field on Friday, and she obliged. But she obliged in a way that may have caused widespread irreversible bleeding deafness.

So instead we’ll show you the video after the jump, along with a list of five things that Denise Richards sounds like when she sings…

5 - When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like a rabid fox having sex with a pelican.

4 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched falling down a rocky slope on her face.

3 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like the opening number from Abattoir: The Musical.

2 - When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like the noise that Denise Richards’ mother made when she first saw Wild Things all the way through.

1 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like a a million rape alarms going off in an echo chamber made of crying children.

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